Trends, Tips, & Ideas For Your Next Big Event

Let’s be honest, 2020 was pretty disastrous for anyone hoping to get married.  And the New Year hasn’t got off to a much better start.  So, in this post we share some wedding disaster stories collated from the internet, to help cheer you up – at least you’ve not had to cope with situations as bad as these!  On a more positive note the vaccine rollout means that weddings might start happening again soon.  Hang in there and we look forward to hosting your celebration soon.

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Not funny

Tales of a drunken Best Man giving a dreadful speech are not uncommon.  So, spare a thought for the bride who had to sit through 20 minutes of crude jokes and a long list of the many women her husband had slept with before he met her.  Eventually he jumped off the stage and fell in a heap, splitting his trousers wide open in the process.  Down, but not out, he challenged the groom's 75-year-old grandpa to a wrestling match...and lost.

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Bad dad

One guest relates how their father got to the food table and decided to garnish his loaded plate with ketchup.  He squeezed the bottle but nothing came out.  So he shook the bottle violently to move the contents towards the nozzle – before putting the cap back on.  A big red dollop flew over his shoulder and guess who was stood right behind?  The bride…in her brilliant white dress.

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Handbags at dawn

A groom that cheats on his fiancé?  It happens.  But on the night before the wedding – that’s hard to excuse.  In this instance the bride got the full story by anonymous text.  A fight ensued but things were hastily patched up.  What made it especially tricky was the fact the other guilty party was the girl who was doing the bride’s makeup.  Awkward, or what?

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Tight – in every sense

Heard the one about the bride who ordered her bridesmaid dresses online and thought she’d got a really good deal?  When the package arrived she invited her bridesmaids over so they could all open the package together.  Everyone was super excited – until they discovered she had ordered Barbie Doll dresses – no wonder the price seemed too good to be true.  

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Beware the ‘reply all’ tab

Imagine a bride who was so chilled she let her three bridesmaids choose what they wanted to wear. Her bestie, BM1, chose a gorgeous dress. The bride loved it, BM2 loved it and as far as these two knew BM3 was happy too.  A few days later the bride received an email from BM3.  This was was meant to go to BM1 and BM2 but not the bride – the ‘reply all’ tab had been pressed by mistake.  BM3 criticized how the bride had been planning the wedding and said the dresses would make the girls ‘look disgusting’. She didn’t realize BM1 and BM2 had picked their own outfits.

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Destination wedding woes

A couple were flying out to get married in Kos.   The plane was struck by lightning and the flight was diverted to Rome so the plane could be checked over.  In the confusion the couple lost their passports – a fact they only discovered when they eventually tried to go through immigration in Kos.  It was two in the morning but, despite the bride to be having a meltdown with the officials, they eventually got scans of the mislaid documents by calling the wedding planner and the parents.  Their driver had by this time left and gone to bed.  The wedding planners husband had to give them a lift.  The groom spent three hours on the phone next day smoothing things over.  On the day of the wedding they got a speedboat to the ceremony. The driver of the speedboat turned out to be one of the immigration officers they had been screaming at about 36 hours before – piloting a boat was something he did on the side.  

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No photos, please

A wedding planner described one incident where the ceremony was held in a gazebo.  The groom rode up to the altar in a horse drawn carriage.  It was only then that he discovered he was allergic to horses.  An ambulance was called and he made a bit of a recovery with the help of some antihistamines.  However, his face was so swollen they couldn't take any pictures.

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Looking forward to your big day

Having to put your wedding plans on hold is no fun – but not as bad as coping with these awkward situations.  When restrictions start to be lifted the experienced team at Clevedon Hall look forward to helping you tie the knot without a glitch!

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These are challenging times for those whose plans for tying the knot keep unravelling thanks to the Covid crisis.  The best advice right now is to chill out, open a bottle of prosecco and snuggle up on the sofa with your loved one to watch a wedding movie!  We listed ten popular ones a couple of years back - check it out here.  But there are plenty more to choose from.  In this post we offer you ten more that will have you laughing, crying and well entertained for a few hours.

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Love Actually

Nine intertwined stories approach the subject of love from very different angles.  Begins with one of the best wedding scenes ever to have been captured on camera but there’s plenty more to enjoy, including a newly elected British prime minister who falls for a young junior staffer, a graphic designer whose devotion to her mentally ill brother complicates her love life, and a married man tempted by his attractive new secretary.

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Like Crazy

Great movie for those forced to put love on hold by bureaucratic red tape.  While attending college in Los Angeles Anna from London falls madly in love with Jacob.   When Anna violates the terms of her visa she is compelled to return. Maintaining a long-distance relationship proves hard but no matter how often circumstances pull them apart, they always find themselves back together again.

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Table 19

Eloise is relieved of maid of honor duties at her oldest friend’s wedding after being unceremoniously dumped by her fiancé (who also happens to be the best man) via text.  Not the best of starts.  And it all goes downhill from here when she determines to attend the celebration out of loyalty to the bride.  She finds herself seated with five other dysfunctional, emotionally disturbed and socially challenged guests who should have also politely declined the invitation.  Very amusing, very romantic and gives some useful wedding planning pointers (ie mistakes to avoid).

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Crazy Rich Asians

Unsuspecting Rachel accompanies her boyfriend to his best friend's wedding in Singapore.  She's shocked to discover that laid back Nick has been keeping a secret from her – his family is outrageously wealthy and he is one of the country's most eligible bachelors.   Unwillingly thrust into the spotlight she has to deal with spiteful socialites, Nick’s offbeat friends and relatives plus a potential mother-in-law from hell who is determined to send our heroine packing.  Things go from bad to worse when Nick’s mother reveals a secret about Rachel which she herself was unaware of.  A classic and hugely enjoyable rom-com that’s an absolute bling fest to boot.

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The Proposal

Faced with deportation to her native Canada, high-powered book editor Margaret Tate pressures her hapless assistant, Andrew Paxton, into marrying her in return for a promotion.  He also insists she flies to Alaska to meet his oddball family.  With a suspicious immigration official on their tail the couple must stick to their wedding plan despite numerous mishaps.  Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds make it a lot of fun.

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Meet the Parents/Meet the Fockers

Two movies, but two parts of the same story.  Unfortunately named male nurse, meets his girlfriend's parents before proposing, but her suspicious father turns out to be every date's worst nightmare.  Despite a string of disasters our hero successfully wins over Ex-CIA man Jack Byrnes.  In the sequel Jack and his wife travel to Miami to meet their future in-laws and are intrigued to find out what kind of couple would name their son Gaylord M. Focker.  Suffice to say their initial impressions are not encouraging.  But love, as they say, conquers all.  Great cast – Ben Still, Robert DeNiro and Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand and Owen Wilson.

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Destination Wedding

Lindsay and Frank, both with a bad attitude to start with, are reluctant guests at the wedding of her ex and his new girlfriend.  Their antipathy is mutually, sparking a downward spiral of jibes, insults and sulkiness.  The hate at first sight formula is a tried and tested one.  They’re obviously made for each other - but just can’t see it.  The sparks fly between Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder in more ways than one.  

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Bachelorette

Three friends are asked to be bridesmaids at a wedding of a woman they used to ridicule back in high school. After ruining the wedding gown, bridesmaids (Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan) set out on a frantic search for a replacement, but their mission degenerates into a night of booze, drugs and nightclubbing.   Snappy, bitchy, and surprisingly enjoyable girls behaving badly romp.

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Bride Wars

Two best friends become rivals when they schedule their respective weddings on the same day, at the same venue, using the same wedding planner.  Their inner bridezillas do battle with hilarious consequences.  Competition for dates and venues will be tough when the Covid threat is finally brought under control but let’s hope you never end up in a mess like this!

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27 Dresses

Perennial bridesmaid Jane always puts the needs of others before her own, making her the go-to bridesmaid.   27 weddings later her younger sister hooks the man Jane secretly loves herself – Jane’s boss.  Our usually compliant and supportive heroine is now more than a little conflicted.  A situation that’s complicated when she becomes attracted to a handsome reporter who sees her vulnerability as an opportunity to further his own career.

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Let’s talk

We hope that watching these movies will keep you entertained while your own preparations are temporarily delayed.  Having said that there’s nothing to stop you planning your big day.  The team at Clevedon Court have a wealth of experience so don’t be shy about sharing your ideas or picking our brains - we love to help!

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No wedding is complete without a cake.  But what sort of cake?  A simple enough question, you might think….but think again!  Wedding cakes have become amazingly creative and imaginative of late and the sheer choice of styles, favours, fillings, shapes and finished can be overwhelming.  In this post we open your mind to some of the stunning and delicious possibilities you can discuss with you cake creator.

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Keeping with tradition

The classic wedding cake is a fruitcake.  There’s a good reason for this – the bride and groom can keep some of it in a safe place for 365 days and enjoy it on their first wedding anniversary.

The cake will either be square or round with at least three tiers.  It will be covered in marzipan and white fondant icing with white detailing piped onto the cake and probably some flowers and ribbons for extra decoration.

Why three tiers?  The large bottom tier is shared out at the wedding.  The smaller middle tier is to share with those who couldn’t make the big day.  The top tier is saved for the couple to enjoy a year later.

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Give it a modern or contemporary twist

If you want to create something more individual there are many possible variations – they’re all variations on the traditional theme but give you plenty of room to express your own personal style and really wow guests with something that’s a bit more adventurous.  Let us give you some food for thought….

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No end of finishes - take your pick

The most traditional, and popular, finish is fondant icing.  The main reason for this is that it is so practical and versatile.   It’s created from a combination of sugar, corn syrup, gelatine and glycerine.  This mix is rolled out into sheets and then wrapped around each tier of the cake to produce a smooth and clean finish.

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Royal icing a mix of egg whites and sifted icing sugar that is whipped into a thick paste then piped onto the cake when soft.  As it dries it provides a hard finish. This icing is used to create beading, latticework, flowers and other creations that must hold their shape and stay firm – you wouldn’t ice the whole cake in it, just the decorative bits.

Another popular and very tempting finish is American buttercream.  It’s soft and easy to cut which makes it perfect for decorations such as a basket weave, swirls, fleur-de-lis, rosettes and swags.  It has a smooth and creamy texture but is not exdessively sweet. Genuine buttercream, as the name suggests, is made with real butter, so cakes iced with buttercream will need to be kept in a cool place and won’t keep for long after the big day.

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Italian and Swiss buttercream are two other very popular options for cakes.  Both start out the same way as meringue and require a lot of skill to prepare.

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Cream cheese buttercream is created when you add cream cheese to your buttercream.  This type of finish is idea for finishing carrot cakes, red velvet cakes or lemon cakes perfectly.

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A naked cake finish (also known as a bare cake, exposed, pound or tomboy cake) is just the humble sponge cake with no covering of icing

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Crumb coat finish, sometimes referred to as dirty iced, is very like a naked finish.  It’s a wedding cake covered by a very thin layer of icing to hold in the crumbs - so thin that the sponge underneath is starting to show through..

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Ganache is usually made by mixing equal parts chocolate and cream.  As you’d expect this is a chocoholic’s dream!

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Drip style cakes, as the name suggests, are cakes are adorned with rivulets of overflowing frosting. First they are covered in fondant, dirty iced or left naked and then finished with a layer of dripping chocolate, caramel or a sweet, coloured ganache trickling down the sides.  A very dramatic finish guaranteed to get everyone’s mouth watering!

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Marzipan is a paste made of ground almonds, sugar and egg whites. It can be rolled into sheets and moulded into shapes and then painted with food colouring or covered in icing.

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Whipped Cream finish is exactly that – whipped cream.  It gives your cake a wonderful texture.  However, it is quite delicate so bakers often use special stabilisers or powdered sugar in the whipped cream so it’s safe to display the cake during the reception.

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Hand-finished cakes may be painted, embellished with script, or covered in gold leaf or metallic finishes – the options are as varied as your imagination!

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Wedding cake shapes

Most wedding cakes are round or square, but the possibilities don’t stop there.  You could go for mini, spherical, hexagonal, octagonal, a cake in the shape of a petals, a stack of hearts, a pile of cushions, a fairy tale castle, a peacock, an open book, a bouquet of flowers…

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Take it to a new level

The classic wedding cake has three tiers but there are no rules – you can do some amazing things on just one level or you can go up as many as you like.  

If you go for two of more tiers they don’t have to be stacked directly on top of each other – you could separate the tiers by supporting them on tiers.  

Another option is to go for a double height cake (sometimes referred to as double barrel).  This is where two identical cakes are stacked directly on top of each other, then iced as one tall layer.

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Small is beautiful

You could go for a collection of individually-sized mini cakes, one for each guest.  One of the great things about this ideas is that they can be made in a variety of flavours, colours and styles.  This can, however, be quite costly.  A more budget-conscious option is to have a collection of cupcakes.

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Let’s get decorative

Even the simplest shape of cake can be totally transformed by the choice of decorative treatments that are added to it.  There are literally thousands of ways to add personal creative touches and style accents.  We’ve listed some of the most popular here but not gone into detail – they are just ideas that you can discuss with your cake designer.  

•           Ribbons & bows

•           Hand-piping

•           Candy-covered

•           Dots

•           Spatula painted

•           Flowerfetti

•           Sugar flowers

•           Fresh flowers

•           Fresh fruit

•           Hand-painted & calligraphy designs

•           Metallic finishes like gold leaf & rose gold designs

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Flavours and fillings to die for

You can settle for the traditional fruit cake – or go for something a little out of the ordinary (or a lot!).  Coffee, white chocolate and nut flavours are very popular but there are many totally moreish citrus, fruit and floral flavours to tempt the tastebuds.

One idea is to go for a seasonal slant - light, dainty flavours for a spring or summer wedding and rich, heavy cakes for an autumn and winter wedding.  Maybe you and your other half have your own very different favourite flavours?   No problem – have two tiers, with his and hers flavours.

You could even go the savoury route and have a cheese stack.   You can buy a ready-made  cake of cheeses (some towering as high as eight tiers) or make your own combo of Cheddar, Stilton, Brie, Wensleydale, Double Gloucester or soft goat’s cheese (to name but a few).

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Extra helpings

The team at Clevedon Hall love discussing cake (almost as much as eating it!) so if you have any questions of this nature don’t be shy about asking us – we’re hungry to help!

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Your wedding is obviously a very personal occasion that’s close to your heart – so it’s totally understandable if you want to plan it all yourself.  However, it is a huge undertaking that takes up a lot of time and inevitably involves a certain amount of stress.  Many couples, keen to focus on the fun and romance, with less of the work and the worry, therefore enlist the services of a wedding planner.

If you hold your wedding at Clevedon Hall the team here will give you a lot of help and support.  Having said that some of our brides who have especially demanding jobs, or whose circumstances may be particularly complicated (lots of guests flying in from abroad, for instance), bring in a wedding planner as well.

In this post we cover the main benefits of hiring a professional wedding planner.

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Helping you get the most out of your budget  

Wedding planners cost money.  But in strict financial terms they are generally worth it – they can actually save more than they cost.  How come?  Because they are experts, they know the right people, they understand how the wedding industry works, and are skilled at getting the best deals.  If you let them take care of all the negotiations, decisions and purchases you’ll get better value for money.

Wedding suppliers want repeat business.  Planners can give it to them but you can’t (unless you are planning on getting married multiple times!).  So wedding planners usually get lower quotes and better rates than brides.  

What’s more, wedding planners are used to managing wedding budgets, contacts and all the administrative details.  You are not – so they will usually do a much better job of keeping all the finances properly managed and buttoned down.

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Freeing up your time

Most brides have a full time job, a busy social life and plenty of other commitments (including their relationship with their husband to be).  Finding the time to plan and organize a wedding on top of all that is a big ask.  You can do it, but at what cost?  The effort can really take the fun, excitement and romance out of what should be some of the most joyous months of your life.  

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Do the maths. The average couple is engaged for about 12 months, which only gives you 48 weekends in which to get everything sorted.  You’ll find yourself missing out other social events or family gatherings because you have a fitting, tasting or some other wedding related task that requires your time.  Your inbox is also going to fill up with correspondence from suppliers asking questions, requiring discussion or needing payment.  

A wedding planner can take much of this off the hassle off your shoulders, leaving you free to enjoy more of the fun stuff – and that’s incredibly valuable.

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Helping you achieve your wedding vision

You have a picture in your mind of your dream wedding.  But it can be easy to lose sight of that when you start talking to different vendors and your family and friends keep adding their personal ideas, suggestions and requests.  Your planner is focused only on your special day (unlike vendors who may be involved in several weddings every weekend) and will push to make sure everything goes according to your unique plan.

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There are so many little details to keep track of, and so many different people putting subtle (or not so subtle!) pressure on you, that it’s all too easy to end up with an event that’s not quite what you had in mind.  Your wedding planner is a professional project manager whose job it is to make sure the client (you) gets what they wanted at the very beginning.  Also, because they are not so personally involved they are much better placed to have difficult conversations on your behalf!

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Inspiration ideas and practical advice

You might spend hours on Pinterest, flipping through bridal magazines and surfing various wedding blogs gathering information, ideas and advice.  But that doesn’t make you a pro.  A wedding planner organises events ranging from 20 to 300 guests on a regular basis.  They know what the issues are and have great relationships with the best vendors.  They understand the legalities, they are familiar with the problems that often arise and are practiced at coming up with solutions.  For instance, your mum and mother-in-law disagree about bridal shower details.  You’re not sure how much should you ask your bridesmaids to pay for their dresses.  When should you send out your save-the-dates.  A seasoned wedding planner has seen it all, and she'll be able to guide you through any tricky situations that arise during big-day preparations - the benefit of their knowledge and experience is priceless.

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At the very least your planner is going to come up with brilliant and original ideas for your ceremony and reception, many of which can't be found online. Whether you want a unique centre piece or a totally wow cake design, she'll brainstorm something that will knock your socks off.

On the other hand you may come up with some super creative idea that you are not sure how to turn into reality.  Your wedding planner will be able to give you a practical way of achieving it or maybe suggest something similar that will work better.

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Peace of mind

For all these reasons, and more, a wedding planner will save you tons of stress and worry.  They are like a PA, walking diary, confidant and best friend all rolled into one.  There comes a point, usually just before the big day, when it can all get too much – that’s when you wish you had paid for a wedding planner!  Do you really want to be worrying about the florist finding your venue on the day.   Or stressing over whether the DJ will have the correct cables and connections for the venue’s sound system?  Without a planner you’ll be tackling those issues yourself, when you least need it!

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Your planner can make your life so much calmer by responding to emails when you are really short of time, take phone calls that you don’t want to deal with and.  They can attend venue viewings, menu tastings and supplier meetings with or without you, and can also be present on the day should you need extra tissues, extra wine or help with an unruly guest or difficult supplier.  

A planner makes sure you get your wedding your way - with the minimum stress and work, the maximum fun and pleasure.  

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Let’s make it happen

The team at Clevedon Hall can give you lots of advice and assistance but we’re very happy to work with a planner if you decide you’d like one.  Together we’ll ensure your big day is as magical and enjoyable as in your dreams.

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When you eventually get to enjoy your big day (global pandemics permitting!) it’s important to be in the moment.  But it’s also essential to capture the memories – and that means hiring a professional photographer.  There’s plenty to choose from…and that’s the problem.  You suddenly discover there’s a lot more to it than you initially realised.  In this post we give a quick overview of the different wedding photography styles and terms that wedding photographers tend to use (reportage, second shooter…eh?).

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Digital or film?

Digital is the most popular way to shoot wedding photos, for these reasons

•              Digital gives you unlimited shots as no extra processing fees – film means less shots and extra cost

•              With digital you can immediately see the shot and make adjustments as necessary

•              With film it takes longer to get finished images

•              Digital produces crisp, high-quality photos and prints but film adds grain, softness and warmth

•              Digital is more suitable for very low-light conditions

•              Retouching with digital is easy

•              Digital negatives are easy to store and won’t fade over time

You might want to find a photographer who’ll shoot on film and digital to give you the best of both worlds.

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Black and white vs colour

Black and white produces a timeless and classic effect.  It also heightens the mood and can be great in poor lighting conditions to put draw the eye to the happy couple.  The normal procedure is to shoot in colour and then edit into black and white so you have both options.  

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Photography package

An agreement that sets out what is included in the fee – from how many hours they’ll spend shooting on the day to what they’ll finally deliver.  What sort of thing might be included in a typical package?

•              A pre-wedding consultation to discuss the arrangements in detail

•              An engagement shoot

•              About 10 hours on the day from the bridal party preparations through to the first dance

•              A USB stick of high-resolution, full-edited digital images from the day (400-500 images)

•              Personal use copyright license

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Copyright

You’ve paid for the shots but the photographer always owns the copyright.  However, the agreement should give you a personal use copyright license. This this means you can print physical copies and to share the photos online.  You can’t sell your photos or publish them and the photographer may request that images you share on social media carry a watermark.

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Traditional photography

This style is formal and captures posed photographs of your day. You’ll get a standard, almost formulaic series of images covering the key moments in the day (like signing the register and cutting the cake) as well as a number of staged group shots of you and your guests. Although this style might sound a bit unimaginative it is important to get these shots for posterity.  Your best solution might be to find a photographer that takes these formal set pieces as well as shots in a reportage or contemporary style.

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Contemporary style photography

The photographer shoots in the style used by current magazine editorials.  The style is quite artistic and imaginative, using dramatic backdrops, unusual angles and lighting, or focusing on more abstract shots.  If you’re looking for a quirky and creative then this style is for you.  

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However, be clear on what the photographer has in mind.  Review several of their full wedding albums to make sure you are both on the same page.  The shots may take quite a lot of time and require you to go to another location (for instance, Clevedon Pier) – you have to decide if you want to spend this long on your wedding day to get these shots.  

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Reportage style photography

One of the most popular styles right now, a very naturalistic and informal way of capturing moments and emotions as they happen – a style that’s very like photojournalism.  If you want candid and authentic shots without wasting time on posing this is the style to go for.

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Fun photography

Light-hearted, comical or slightly cheesy shots directed by the photographer. These shots may range from the bridal party jumping in the air to a staged shot of the groomsmen and bridesmaids in a tug of war to pull the happy couple apart. Whatever your idea of fun is!

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Shot list

A list of must-have shots, like the groom waiting at the altar or the bride getting dressed.  Keep the list short and give your chosen photographer lots of freedom – they are the experts.  Having said that there will be some group shots that are essential.

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Proofing, retouching and editing

The post-production stage.  You’ll be sent a link to a password-protected online gallery that friends and family can also look at. You’ll agree which shots to put to one side (someone was blinking or there are better shots of the same moment).  This is a chance for you to ask for any final edits on a few of the photos, especially the ones you plan to print.

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The photographer will correct and enhance things like colour and exposure plus adjust things that don’t turn out exactly as you’d like – from removing unwanted shadows and confetti to combining two photos to create a group shot that was missed.  This can include skin retouching, eyes highlighting, smoothing creases in clothes and removing stray hairs.

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Boudoir shoot

A set of images for the eyes of your spouse only.  These are quite different from regular wedding shots so best done by a dedicated boudoir photographer who’ll have the knowledge of the best angles and lighting.

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Bridal sessions

A formal portrait session several months before the wedding with the bride in her wedding dress and with a replica of her bouquet, almost like a test run for the big day.  These were more popular in days gone but are still a lovely way to get portraits of the bride in a private relaxed setting.

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Second shooter

One photographer can’t be in two places at once so you might want to pay for a second one to make sure nothing is missed. For instance, one photographer might shoot the groom getting ready while the other captures the bridal party preparations.

With a big wedding one photographer will struggle to cover all those memorable moments. A second shooter will be able to go around your guests during your reception drinks, catch a different angle on the walk down the aisle and first dance, and get photos of all the details (cake, table setting, flowers) while your main photographer does your couple shots.

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Anything else you need to know?

That’s not everything there is to know about wedding photography but it’s certainly enough for starters.  If you have any further questions, not just about photography but any aspect of planning your big day, give us a call – the team at Clevedon Hall have a wealth of knowledge and experience to share.

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There has been one upside to the Covid situation as far as weddings are concerned.  Really?!  Yes - government restrictions provided the perfect excuse for keeping the numbers down and not feeling quite so bad about leaving certain people off the guest list.  However, as there’s the prospects of a viable vaccine being available in the not too distant future you may have to start thinking a bit harder about these issues as we head into 2021.  

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Workmates

You probably have a few close friends at work that you’d love to have along.  But where do you draw the line?  It’s not an easy call but it maybe best to invite all, or none.

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The return favour

You were invited to their wedding so are you obliged to do the same?  If their wedding was less than a year before yours then you should probably include them.  If it was longer, but you are still close, the answer is probably yes.  But if you seldom see each other now then they’ll probably understand.  Probably…  They may have had a much bigger event, or less relatives to include, so there are a few other circumstances to take into consideration – but if their wedding was not long ago, or you still see them, then leaving them out will potentially cause bad feeling.

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Parental pressure

Parents probably have different ideas to you about who should be invited to the wedding – and it’s tough to ignore their wishes if they are making a financial contribution.  Consider allocating a certain number of invitations to both sets of parents to get around this. If your venue holds 100 people, you could invite 50 guests and let each set of parents inviting 25 each.

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The ‘plus one’

Some guests will feel uneasy coming alone or may have a “significant other” that you’ve not met (yet!).  There’s no hard and fast rule – kind of depends on the capacity of the venue.  It’s generally acceptable to not invite the partners of a group of work colleagues who enjoy each other’s company.  But but do consider inviting the partner of the friend who may not know anybody else. Generally be clear and consistent about whether or not you are inviting partners. Print names on the rsvp cards as this will stop uninvited partners from turning up.

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The divorced parents situation

It’s important for both of you to have both parents in attendance.  But what if they can no longer bear to be in the same room as each other?  It may be possible to keep them apart but it certainly won’t be easy – especially when you arrange the seating plan of the top table.

The top table is the focus of attention at the reception so any “issues” are going to be obvious to everyone.  The traditional way to seat everyone on the top table is down one side of a rectangular table, facing the rest of the room.  The normal arrangement, from the left: chief bridesmaid, groom’s father, bride’s mother, groom, bride, bride’s father, groom’s mother, best man. An alternative to this is to swap the fathers so that the bride’s parents sit together and the groom’s parents set together.

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You’d probably love your mum and dad to sit at the top table but if they absolutely don’t want to then you need to find an alternative seating solution.  You might like to consider these variations:

·         If the bride’s parents have divorced and remarried.  From the left: bride’s stepfather, chief bridesmaid, groom’s father, bride’s mother, groom, bride, bride’s father, groom’s mother, best man, bride’s stepmother.

·         If the groom’s parents have divorced and remarried.  From the left: best man, groom’s stepmother, groom’s father, bride’s mother, groom, bride, bride’s father, groom’s mother, groom’s stepfather, chief bridesmaid.

·         If both sets of parents have divorced and remarried. From the left: groom’s stepmother, bride’s stepfather, chief bridesmaid, groom’s father, bride’s mother, groom, bride, bride’s father, groom’s mother, best man, bride’s stepmother, groom’s stepfather.

Another option, to avoid any awkward hierarchies, particularly if there is any resentment or bitterness lurking between current partners and exes, consider having a round table.

If you find it impossible to organize a harmonious top table just do away with tradition altogether and have a romantic ‘sweetheart top table’ just for the bride and groom alone.  That way you are the centre of attention and everyone else can sit at separate tables with people they feel comfortable with.

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Inviting the ex

We have all heard stories of couples who invited their ex-wife or ex-husband to their wedding and they all got along famously, but this is rare – generally it’s a recipe for disaster.

If your relationship with your ex is friendly, and you have children together, it might work out.  But you do need to consider how your ex and your new partner are going to feel.  If you have any misgivings at all it’s probably best to simply explain that you will be getting married again but that you don’t feel it would be appropriate to have them there on the day. They may happily accept this (and might actually be quite relieved).  Certainly don’t invite them if it makes your new partner uncomfortable.  What’s more, there may be others (not least your parents) who might not welcome your ex (and possibly their new partner).  

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Ask away

If you have any other questions relating to guest lists, seating arrangements and the like, then let us know – it’s all in a day’s work for the team at Clevedon Hall!

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Your wedding day is the most romantic moment of your life.  So, you want it to be perfect.  Which means you plan it very carefully.   But, ironically, the more you plan, the more you try to micromanage every little detail, the more stressful it becomes.  Because there will always be little challenges – like the venue you want is booked on all of the dates you’d like, your future mother-in-law can’t stop giving you advice and your maid of honour gets pregnant eight months before the big day.  Then, to cap it all, Covid comes along.

This isn’t the first post we’ve written on how to manage your mental and emotional wellbeing during the wedding planning process – but we thought it was timely.  Plus we have some fresh tips that we haven’t shared with you before.

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Accept that it’s normal to feel stressed

Planning a wedding is a big undertaking.  So if you find yourself getting stressed out that’s normal.  The fact you are so wound up, losing sleep and getting ratty with people doesn’t mean you are a total bridezilla, that it’s better to delay the whole thing or that you have serious mental health issues!  

However, many brides and grooms try to hide the anxiety they’re experiencing.  They might even feel ashamed that they’re struggling during a period that should be the “happiest time of their life”.

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The best approach is to realise “it’s not you” but the situation – stop blaming yourself!  Then make looking after yourself more of a priority – right now it’s probably way down the list, below worrying about the budget and making sure everyone else is happy (an impossible task, by the way!).  If you follow this tip, and the ones that follow, you’ll be able to enjoy the process of wedding planning and put the focus back on you, your relationship and your upcoming marriage.

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Use you support network  

There’s a lot of truth in the old adage “a problem shared is a problem halved”.  So share the stuff that’s bothering you.  Who with?  It might be with your partner, a member of your family or with your closest girlfriends – you decide who is best placed to give you the love, support and advice you need.  Even if they don’t come up with a solution to your problem just talking it out will be a big help.  

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You might just want to meet up with one person over a cuppa or go out with your mates for a good old chin wag over a bottle of wine – the main thing is to get some human contact.  This is especially important right now when you are probably seeing fewer people than usual because everyone is working from home and meeting socially in a bar or restaurant is rather difficult.  In between face to face meetings make sure you chat on zoom or snapchat – it all helps!  

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Go on a digital detox

Chat with your friends digitally but perhaps limit your use of social media in other ways.  A number have studies have linked excessive social media use with depression, anxiety, sleep problems and body image and body confidence issues. Whether it’s creating a dream wedding way beyond your means on Pinterest or feeling inadequate when you look at the images of professional models and influencers on Instagram, social media can be a great source of dissatisfaction and anxiety.

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Following the news too closely, even at the best of times, can be a pretty negative experience – and these are not the best of times!  So tear yourself away from the screen, give your thumbs a rest , and take some us time…just the two of you, enjoying a special meal, taking time out to talk or watching an episode of a favourite show.    

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Rediscover the things that make you happy  

If you’ve been spending every evening with your Excel spreadsheets and lunch has been taken al desko while you chase up suppliers or check out the latest trends in wedding cakes/dress fashions/buddymoons then you need to call a “time out”.

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No matter how busy you are it’s essential to clear some space in your schedule to do things that help you relax, nourish your spirit and bring you joy.  It could be going for a walk, putting your feet up with a novel, soaking in a hot bath or baking chocolate chip cookies.  Just make sure you get that important ‘me time’ every day – a break from everything else going on in your life when you focus on no one else’s needs but your own.

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Make a “done” list

We’ve all got a “to-do” list.  So why not a “done” one?  “to-do” lists are obviously useful but they can make you feel overwhelmed and anxious.  So why not spend a little time every evening, or at the end of the week, making a list of all the things you’ve recently accomplished – it’s a great way to remind yourself of what you’ve achieved and to build up your self-esteem.   Makes sense, doesn’t it?  So do it!

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Get some exercise

Numerous studies show that physical exercise helps lower stress levels.  In the current situation you may be rather less active than you realise.  Maybe your daily commute is now between your bedroom and the kitchen – when you worked in an office there was probably a lot more walking involved.  And with lockdown you might have let your gym membership lapse and given up the yoga classes.  

The general recommendation from healthcare professionals is to take 150 minutes of moderate-intensity activity a week, and swimming, yoga or gentle walking are great places to start.  The evidence suggests this type of activity can reduce your risk of depression by 30%, improve sleep quality, increase self-confidence and help you manage stress and anxiety better.

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If possible try and combine that exercise with some fresh air – just getting out and experiencing a change of scenery certainly has a calming effect.

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Eat healthy

How do most of us respond to stress?  By comfort eating and drinking!   However, reaching for the nearest chocolate bar, pack of biscuits or glass of wine is not the answer.  It actually just makes you feel worse, physically and mentally – once the sugar rush or the alcohol buzz has passed we probably feel worse than before (and beat ourselves up as part of the deal!).  Plus putting on weight doesn’t help our state of mind (or dress size).  

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On the other hand a crash diet to reach your ideal wedding weight is not too smart either.  Severely restricting your calorie intake makes you feel lethargic and irritable – certainly not helpful for your mental health!

Much better to eat a healthy balanced diet of freshly prepared meals with plenty of vegetables.  Cutting down on your alcohol intake will also help you sleep better, as will switching to caffeine-free beverages like herbal or rooibos tea.

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Minimize your commitments

Taking on too much is a sure way to increase your stress levels so learn to say “no” more.  Your time and energy are precious and it isn’t selfish to set boundaries.  You don’t have to go to every party and volunteer for every project – but you do have to look after yourself.

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Learn to delegate  

Share your wedding planning workload with trusted bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents and friends.  There’s all sorts of time consuming tasks they could help with while you focus on the stuff you must do for yourself – like dress fittings, working out seating plans and going for tastings (essential!).

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Lean on us

We understand what you are going through and we’ve helped countless couples with the ups and downs.  We’re here to give you emotional support but you’ll also find that our experience and practical knowledge enables us to provide answers to many of the questions that are getting you down.

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The Covid crisis has certainly changed the way we tie the knot today.  But even before the pandemic upended everything weddings, and marriage, were undergoing subtle changes from one year to the next.  Go back to the time your grandparents wed, or just to the time when you were a twinkle in your parent’s eye, and you’ll discover just how different it all was not so long ago.  The statistics tell a remarkable story.  

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More marriages and more haste  

In 1970 out of every 1,000 unmarried adult women living in England and Wales in (single, divorced or widowed) 60 got hitched during the year.  Fast forward to 2017 and the number dropped to just 21.

What’s more, in 1970 the average age women got married for the first time was 21, to men who were two years older.  By 2017 it had risen to 30 for women and 31 for men.  

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An interesting slant on this is the fact that in 1970 a third of all brides gave birth less than eight months after the ceremony – do the maths!  In those days giving birth as an unmarried mother was severely frowned upon but by 2016 it was almost the norm - 48% of English and Welsh babies were born to unmarried mothers in 2016, up from 8% in 1970.

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Attitudes have changed  

NatCen Social Research, which runs annual surveys, found that in 1983 42% of Britons thought  sex before marriage was fine.  By 2016 this had climbed to 75%.  However, we’ve become less liberal in another way - all Britons, especially young ones, now take a more critical view of affairs.  As marriage becomes less common it is also being seen as more precious.

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For richer, for poorer

Marriage as a whole may be losing popularity but the picture is nuanced.  According to the Labour Force Survey in the first quarter of 2017, 65% of top professional adults in Britain were married.  However, amongst those in more routine jobs the figure was just 44%.  Amongst the unemployed and those who had never worked the proportion was even lower, at 40%.  

The class difference is even more marked when you look at women with young children. The Marriage Foundation charity calculates that 87% of women in the highest-earning quintile with children under five are married.  But in the lowest earning quintile the number is just 24%.

While marriage is favoured by well-off people it’s also popular with some ethnic minorities, especially immigrants and the offspring of immigrants from countries such as Bangladesh, India, Pakistan and Somalia, which have strong marriage cultures.  

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Harrow has the lowest proportion of births outside marriage (a mere 20%), reflecting the fact it is a middle-class London suburb where less than one-third of the population is white British.   At the other end of the scale comes Knowsley, a poor suburb of Liverpool where 19 out of 20 people are white Britons – here the rate is 75%.

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Split decisions declining

Marriages are becoming more resilient.  Among those who tied the knot in 1996, 11% had split up by the fifth year of marriage and 25% by the tenth.   But skip a decade and among those who wed in 2006, 8% had split by their fifth year and 20% by their tenth year.  This trend to longer lasting marriages continues.

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Meanwhile, in the rest of the world

It’s a similar picture.  Across Europe, with the exception of Belgium, highly educated women are less likely to have children outside marriage.  In America the better educated are more likely to be in wedlock than the rest and marriage rates are now higher among women with PhDs than among women with bachelor’s degrees.  

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American men seem to live quite uncomplicated personal lives - at the age of 45 those with university education tend to be hitched (88% of them).  About 75% of these are still with their first wife.  Men who did not finish high school are less likely to have married and, if they have, more likely to have divorced.

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Men behaving less badly

Married women nagging their husbands to “do more about the house” is a familiar refrain.  However, a recent study from Oxford University shows that although women still do more housework than men the gap has narrowed everywhere.   In 1974 British women spent 172 more hours a year cleaning, cooking and laundering than men.

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By 2005 the men were doing more of their share - women were putting in only 74 hours more than their partners.  In America a similar trend has been observed - the difference between the time married working women and men spent doing housework each day fell from 38 to 28 minutes between 2003-06 and 2011-15.

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What more do you need to know?

So, statistically speaking, you now understand a lot more about the subject of marriage and the latest social and economic trends.  It won’t help you with your planning for the big day but you’ll be able to impress your other half, family and friends with your amazing knowledge!  If there’s anything else we can help you with, wedding-wise, just get in touch – the team here are really well informed.

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Whatever plans you have for your big day there will be helpful friends and relatives who weigh in with advice on what you should and shouldn’t do.  Some of their suggestions may be really practical and helpful.  Others, however, will probably stem from ancient traditions that have become established over many generations and now have precious little relevance today.  Of these, many are based on nothing more than superstition – weird and wacky ideas from the time when people believed in dragons, witchcraft and evil spirits.  In this post we explore a few of these  – partly for fun and partly to help you navigate your way through the minefield of wedding customs, folklore and hocus pocus.

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Not seeing each other before the ceremony

This dates back to the time of arranged marriages and was intended to reduce the chance of a bride or groom deciding to do a runner once they’d caught sight of their intended.  Although arranged marriages are no longer as common most brides still prefer to keep their bridal-look a secret from the groom until the ceremony – so this idea does still serve a purpose.  

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Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

Where the heck did this come from?!  It all goes back to the traditional rhyme that originated in Victorian England - the ditty that promoted the idea that, for good luck and a happy marriage, a bride must have on her wedding day "Something old, something new / Something borrowed, something blue / And a sixpence in her shoe."

The 'something old' symbolizes the bride’s past, her family and her values, and could be represented by a piece of jewellery or a similar token.  The 'something new' might be a gift from the groom or her family, and represents a new chapter in the bride’s life full of good fortune and happiness.  'Something borrowed' might be a bridal accessory lent by a happily married friend or family member to ensure the bride's marriage is just as happy as theirs. 'Something blue' represents the values of purity, faithfulness and modesty and could come in the form of a blue ribbon or brooch. Lastly, a sixpence in the bride's shoe, or even sewn into her dress, was supposed to promise lasting wealth for the couple.

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Catching the bouquet or garter

The general idea is that the bride tosses her bouquet or garter over her shoulder to the unmarried women in the company and the one who catches it will be the next to wed.

This has its roots in a medieval superstition that it was good luck to get a piece of the bride's wedding dress.  This quaint belief  sometimes resulted in a free for all scramble and a severely tattered dress.   So, to distract guests as the happy couple made their way to the marriage chamber, the groom would toss the bride’s garter into the following crowd.

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Carrying the bride over the threshold

This stems from an ancient Roman superstition, that persisted through medieval times, that evil spirits might curse a bride through the soles of her feet.   The groom was therefore advised to carry her to and through the doors of their new home to protect her, and their marriage, from misfortune.

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Right foot forward

This one is a bit like the old children’s superstition, ‘Step on a crack, break your grandmother’s back.’  This belief has it that the bride must step into the wedding ceremony venue with her right foot first for good luck.  

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Superstitions that are associated with good luck

·         Wednesday is allegedly the luckiest day on which to wed and Saturday is the unluckiest - something it’s worth remembering as you can’t currently get a wedding venue on a Saturday for love nor money!   An old rhyme from English folklore rules: "Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday best of all, Thursday for losses, Friday for crosses, Saturday for no luck at all."

·         Sprinkling the bride with wheat or rice was believed to bring fruitfulness.

·         Tossing coins over the heads of the bride and groom ensured good fortune.  Throwing shoes over their heads is also supposed to bring good fortune.

·         If a cat sneezes on the eve of the wedding that is a sign of good luck.

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Superstitions that are associated with bad luck

·         Getting married in a church where there is an open grave leads to bad luck.

·         Wearing a green dress is suppose to bring misfortune.

·         It is bad luck for the bride to look at herself in the mirror after she's dressed in her bridal wear.  However, if you do this by mistake the wearing/carrying of another accessory will break the bad spell.

·         Marrying someone whose surname begins with the same letter as yours is thought to bring bad luck: "to change the name and not the letter / is to change for the worse and not the better" goes an old rhyme.

·         A bridesmaid who stumbles walking to the altar will never be wed according to old lore - so watch your step or end up an old maid!

·         A sapphire in your wedding ring will bring happiness.  Pearls, due to their tear-drop appearance, will bring sorrow.  

·         According to an old wives’ tale, if the younger sister marries before her older sibling the latter must dance barefoot at the wedding or she will never marry.

·         Giving a couple a knife or a set of knives for their wedding gift is bad luck, as it signifies a broken relationship.

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Anything else you need to know?  

You probably have some more, rather more practical, questions about the practicalities of planning your wedding – the team at Clevedon are only too happy to answer them, so just ask away!

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Weddings are “go” again.  Well, sort of.  In England you can have a ceremony and a reception for up to 30 guests – provided you follow the Covid-safe guidelines.  So thousands of couples are now busily re-planning their (slightly smaller) Big Day.  In all the inevitable discussions about social distancing arrangements, revised catering requirements and scaled-down guest lists it’s easy for some other important matters to get overlooked.  The Order of Service being one of them.  In this post we take you through a standard Order of Service.  You don’t have to follow it exactly but it’s a useful starting point as you plan the exact details of your own ceremony.

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What is the Order of Service?

It is the order in which you go through the different stages of the wedding ceremony itself.  There are certain things you have to do to make the marriage legal - and other things you traditionally do to celebrate your love and make the occasion meaningful.  

Provided you satisfy all the legal requirements you can personalize certain aspects to make your ceremony a unique occasion.  You might stick closely to tradition or go a little bit quirky and original – it’s up to you.  Having said that, making it up as you go along, on the day, is not going to work!  You need to plan the different steps, and practice going through the whole thing from beginning to end, to make sure everything runs smoothly on the day.

In this post we set out the traditional Order of Service for a religious or civil ceremony and cover some of the main issues you’ll want to consider.  A celebrant-led wedding ceremony in England will be slightly different because the legal bits of the service will have to be performed afterwards or beforehand.

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Processional

This is the part where the bride, and bridal party, make their grand entrance.  The traditional way to do this in the UK is to have the groom and groomsmen waiting at the altar.   The bridesmaids walk down the aisle one by one, ending with the bride walked down the aisle by her father. If you are including flower girls and page boys in your ceremony then they’ll walk down the aisle just before the bride.  

Having said this you can do the processional any way you want and include whoever you choose to take part.  For instance, in a same-sex ceremony you could both walk down the aisle together.  

At a same-sex wedding, you may both choose to walk down their aisle, just one of you or perhaps you decide it isn't right for either of you. The processional is really completely up to you and you can choose which members of your wedding party and family take part.

The important thing is to decide who is going to be part of the procession, how they will line up (in view of the guests or out of sight?), what order will they follow and where will they stand once they reach the end of the aisle…then practice!

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Welcome and introduction  

Once the two of you are at the front and everyone has settled down the officiant will extend a welcome to all and set the scene.  You need to discuss with your celebrant what form of words you’d like.  If it’s a religious ceremony there may be a set formula to be followed but if not you and your celebrant can create a bespoke message that strikes just the right note for you and your guests.  It is customary for the celebrant to thank guests for bearing witness to your union, as well as welcome everyone to your venue and your celebration.  This will be an introduction and some thoughts on marriage. This could include a brief recounting of your love story, words on what marriage means to you, or a statement about the ceremony to come and what it represents.  

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Song or Reading

The welcome is traditionally followed by a song or hymn ceremony but you can replace this with a reading if you’d prefer.  Either way it further helps to set the tonev for what follows.

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The marriage ceremony

This begins with what is known as the “charge to the couple”.  The purpose of the charge is to remind you both of your individual duties and roles in the marriage and prepare you for the vows they are about to take.   This is also the part of the proceedings where the officiant asks if there’s any reason in law why the two of you should not marry.  

Then comes the exchange of vows. To make your marriage legal, there are certain declarations and contracting words you must say. However, the rest of your vows are up to you and you can choose to word them as you wish.  Because of the legal requirements you must run these past the registrar or religious officiant before the wedding as they can have strict rules about what you’re allowed to say.

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Exchanging of Rings  

This is a very symbolic part of the ceremony but exchanging rings is not a legal requirement.  The officiant will take the rings from the best man then in turn you each place a ring on the other’s finger whilst speaking a short dedication.

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Declaration of Marriage and First Kiss

The celebrant will now officially declare that you are married and say something along the lines of “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife” (or wife and wife, or husband and husband). They then give you permission to kiss - your cue to embrace amidst much clapping and cheering.  Don’t hurry this bit – give your photographer plenty of time to capture the moment!

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Optional Address, Prayers, Reading and Song

If it’s a religious ceremony the celebrant will usually say a few words at this point perhaps with a reading and a hymn.  If it’s a civil service it’s also a lovely moment for a reading or a song.

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Signing of the Register

This is another legal requirement so you can’t skip it – until the register is signed you are not fully wed in the eyes of the law.  You’ll need two witnesses to sign the register alongside you and your partner.  You can choose anyone to perform the role of witness but it’s customary for the maid of honour and the best man to do the honours.  This part of the ceremony does not involve your other guests so you probably need to decide on some music they can listen to while you are putting pen to paper.

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Ending of the Service

Your celebrant will round things up with some appropriate closing remarks - congratulations, well wishes and occasionally a few words of thanks.  

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Recessional and Exit  

You, the newly-wed Mr. and Mrs.(!), walk back up the aisle and head off to your reception party accompanied by the music of your choice.  Your wedding party will follow you out (usually in pairs) and then your guests will start exiting from the front row following you out.

Now it’s time to head off to the reception for some serious celebration!

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Any other questions?

We’ve just covered the basics here and there are a lot of other things you might like to consider.  Whatever questions or thoughts you have in mind please feel free to share them with us – the team at Clevedon Hall have a wealth of experiences and heaps of inspiring ideas to help you make your big day the best ever!

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Planning a wedding is stressful at the best of times.  But these are not the best of times.  Lockdown has put over 70,000 weddings in the UK on hold and although ceremonies and receptions are taking place again there are severe restrictions in place, including limits on number of guests. The team at Clevedon Hall is doing its utmost to help couples reschedule and plan accordingly but we realize that the uncertainty around the situation is adding a degree of anxiety that was not there before.  In this post we share some thoughts around how you can take everything in your emotional stride and minimize your anxiety levels.

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Don’t fight your feelings

If you’re feeling stressed, depressed, confused, overwhelmed, angry or any other strong emotion, it’s important to acknowledge this and give yourself time to process these sensations.  If you deny those feelings, or bury them, they’ll just resurface later – probably even stronger than before.  You need to “get those feelings out there” otherwise they’ll just fester.  Talking to a supportive friend or relative can be a big help – have a good old moan (possibly over a bottle of wine!) then move on.    

Having said that, moving on from your negative feelings may not mean your ready to move on with your plans.  Don’t let friends and relatives rush you into rebooking until you are ready - remind them that you need some time to work through what is happening and that you won’t move on until you feel the time is right.

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Try not to dwell on the negatives

Be aware of your feelings and the way your mind is working.  You’ll probably recognize two different voices in your head – a negative one and a positive one.  When you are stressed it’s all too easy to let the negative one take over.  The way to combat this is to acknowledge what the negative one is saying but then focus on, and encourage, the positive one.  Think of all the good things in your life, make a list of them, and keep looking at it – build on your feelings of gratitude and the worries will start to seem small by comparison.  The fact you are planning a wedding is something massive to be happy about, even if making it happen in the immediate future may be presenting a few challenges!  

Also, every cloud has a silver lining – you just have to look for it.  So, your wedding may be delayed.  But that gives you longer to plan it and longer to save for it, so it’ll probably be an even bigger and better event as a result!   Or delaying your wedding may allow you to get on the housing ladder a bit earlier and put you in a much netter place when tying the knot becomes less fraught with difficulties.

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Be more accepting, flexible and bold

It’s not easy to stay calm and chilled when your best laid plans are trashed by things outside your control.  But it’s worth reminding yourself that stressing about stuff you can’t change is not only pointless but counterproductive.    

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The Serenity Prayer should help you with this mental tussle:  

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

The courage to change the things I can.

And the wisdom to know the difference.”

So getting angry at the Chinese, the government or the fact that there are no available Saturdays at your chosen venue thanks to all the other couples desperate for a weekend wedding is not going to help your state of mind.  You can’t change any of this, so just accept it.

However, what you can change is the day of the week and get wed on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.  You just need the courage to make that decision!   Focusing on the stuff you have control over, and just accepting all the other stuff that you cannot influence, will put you in a much better frame of mind.  

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Try writing a journal

Going back to a previous point another great way to get your feelings “out there” is to start writing a journal or diary.  The mere process of writing down your thoughts, feelings and emotions can be tremendously useful for helping you sort through these things and cope with periods of high stress, sadness or anxiety related to your rescheduled wedding. It can help you make sense of chaotic times and it can be a safe and private place to dump of all those negative feelings.

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Take your mind off matrimony

If the whole topic of your wedding is stressing you out just get busy in other areas of your life.  Physical exercise, whether that’s running, cycling, walking or a Joe Wicks workout is a great way to reduce stress and anxiety.  There are also many ways to take your mind off the things that are winding you up – meditation, mindfulness, painting, reading, baking bread, taking a course and binge-watching your favorite shows will all help to break the cycle of stress and anxiety you would otherwise be feeling.   You can’t change the situation but you can change how you choose to spend your time.    

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Get professional help

Even before Covid came along times were stressful and many people were already turning to therapists and life coaches to help them rise to the challenges.  If you are planning a wedding under the current awkward circumstances it makes a lot of sense to enlist the support of an independent and non-judgmental person – it’ll take a lot of pressure off you and mean you are not having to rely so heavily on close family and friends for emotional support.  

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We’re here for you too

The team at Clevedon Hall are not therapists of life coaches but they do have a wealth of professional experience when it comes to wedding planning – and they are happy to offer advice and support for free. If you want a sounding board for your ideas or need expert advice just call!

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The coronavirus pandemic has played havoc with wedding plans – more than 73,000 ceremonies have been postponed or cancelled since lockdown begun on 23 March.  Are all those couples going to go “hey, no worries, let’s forget the whole thing, for ever”?  I don’t think so!  That means there’s a huge backlog of events to be rebooked, on top of all the weddings already scheduled for the autumn and winter of 2020 and beyond.    

If you’ve got your heart set on a weekend wedding then a long delay is probably inevitable - even if the venue can fit you in some of your vendors might not be available.  The obvious solution, if you don’t want to wait months and months, is to go for a weekday wedding.  Although this may not be what you originally had in mind there are actually some big positives when you avoid the Saturday.  
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Wed on a weekday without so much delay  

If you don’t want to wait until 2021 then a weekday is possibly your only option – the likelihood of your venue and your vendors all being available on a Saturday this side of Christmas is on the anorexic side of slim!    
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Will my guests be able to make a weekday?

We understand your concern but given the circumstances, and the fact that Covid-19 is being so awkward, people are sure to cut you some slack.  Give your guests enough notice and they’ll make every effort to come and celebrate your big day, even if it happens to be a Monday!  We really don’t know how things are going to pan out so you may have to limit the numbers for quite a long while yet – in which case a few people dropping out may even be a blessing in disguise.
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Your budget might go a little further

Saturdays are going to be at a premium but some vendors might be grateful for bookings during the rest of the week.  Weekday discounts aren’t guaranteed but you might find a few suppliers who are open to the idea.  Accommodation rates for your guests may well be cheaper too so that’s another possible bonus.
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A weekday wedding can be more laidback  

Some venues can be pretty busy and raucous at the weekend – this is certainly the case with a city centre hotel or venues that can host several events simultaneously.  Wed on a weekday, however, and everything is likely to be a lot more chilled and relaxed.  
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Battle of the brides

With such a backlog of postponed weddings the chances of a date-clash are dramatically increased.  Tying the knot on a weekday makes a lot of sense as there’s a much better likelihood that all your guests won’t be otherwise committed.  
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Stretch the celebrations

If you make Monday your big day why not hold an activity or event on the Sunday evening to get the ball rolling.  Or have your nuptials on a Friday but organise something like a brunch for the Saturday.  That way, if some people can’t get time off work (like teachers, for instance) they can still come and help you celebrate.  Also, if wedding receptions continue to be limited to 30 guests you could have two different parties (one on the day before or the day after) and double your numbers.
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We’re here to help – just ask

These are difficult times and wedding planning has become even more complicated than before.  The team at Clevedon Hall are right “on it” in terms of the latest rules and current situation so whatever you have in mind they can certainly give you some invaluable input.  

Tying the knot and having a full-on celebration is a bit problematic at the moment – but there’s nothing to stop you getting engaged.  In this post we give you some tips and suggestions that you might helpful.  Not just before the question is popped but a bit about what to expect after as well!  
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Before you get engaged…

You may be truly, madly head-over-heels in love but that doesn’t mean you, or your other half, have to pop the question right now.  Till death us do part is a long time so it’s essential that you really know the person you’re inviting to be your lifelong partner before committing yourselves.  

To help you get to that point, and are able to commit yourself with confidence, we suggest that you experience a few different situations together to gain a greater understanding of how well you’ll get on through life’s journey.
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One thing we’d recommend is taking a holiday or break together – not only will it be fun but you also learn a lot about a person when travelling.  You’ll discover how they respond when things don’t go quite according to plan, how they behave in unfamiliar surroundings and situations, whether they like to plan or just take things as they come, and whether you can lose your way without yelling at each other!

Getting to know each other’s family is also a smart idea – if you haven’t watched “Meet the Fokkers” do it now!  Ideally you should spend a few days in their company to get an idea of their particular characters and peculiarities.
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Take on a project together (before you start planning the wedding!).  It could be something as simple as cooking a dinner for a few friends or decorating a room.  The point is to see how well you work together as a team – if you both want to be in charge, or you have totally different ways of approaching tasks, then maybe this could be a source of irritation down the road.    

Life is not always a bed of roses so it’s good to know how your other half handles the difficult times.  How supportive are they when you get sick, how easy are they to live with when they’re under pressure at work, how positive and robust are they when faced with challenges?  It’s not how good you are together when the sun is shining but whether you both continue to get along fine during darker days.
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After you get engaged…

Once the question has been popped, and the proposal accepted, you are going to be pretty busy.  There’s obviously going to be plenty of time spent sharing the good news.  Then, when the dust has settled a bit, the wedding planning will begin. All that is to be expected.  A few other things, however, may take you slightly by surprise.
 

You probably had a picture in your mind of your ideal fantasy proposal story.  Perhaps it involved a moonlit night on a beach in the Caribbean, a flash mob, a romantic weekend at a boutique hotel or a ring concealed in a dessert of fortune cookie at the end of a lavish dinner.  The reality, however, was bound to be slightly different.  Even if it was pretty close to what you hoped for you might not have been wearing the perfect outfit, it might have come at the end of a bad day at work or perhaps the weather was not as you imagined.  So, don’t be surprised if there’s a tiny tinge of disappointment in amongst the euphoria.  Don’t worry – you’ll soon get over it!  
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Even if you’re not a “jewellery person” you’ll be amazed at how hard it becomes to tear your eyes away from your hand now that you have this beautiful new piece on your finger. That alone, plus the once-in-a-lifetime significance of the symbol, is enough to make you want to stare compulsively at your ring finger.   We suggest you get a manicure at the earliest opportunity – because everyone will want to see your ring.  The other thing to beware of is being distracted by that glittery thing while driving!

You’ll have to tell, and retell, your proposal story, over and over again – it’s the first question everyone asks, once you’ve shown them the ring.  This is all part of the fun of being engaged but after a while you’ll find yourself giving people the shortened version!  You might want to put the longer version on your wedding website so your friends and family can get all the details.

Be prepared for the “when and where?” question.  You’ve probably not had a chance to think about it, or discuss it with your other half, but people are going to ask anyway.  And what kind of dress are you going to wear, what sort of cake…  We suggest you work out a handy answer to head them off – something like “We're so excited just being engaged right now. I'm sure there will be plenty of time to figure out the details in the coming months."  
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Don’t be shocked if one or two people are less enthusiastic about your great news than the rest – this is normal!  Our advice is to avoid dwelling on whatever is bothering them.  It’s more of a reflection on them, not you, so just focus on the happy future you are planning.  

Expect to be the recipient of lots of expert advice from well-meaning friends and relatives – especially those who tied the knot recently.  When someone starts with “You should do this, or that…” it’s easy to feel pressurised – and if what their suggesting is at odds with what you have in mind the temptation is to get defensive, or push back.  Take a deep breath and graciously accept whatever they are saying – they’re only trying to be helpful.  If you agree with the advice, take it; if not, thank them and move on with your plans.
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Looking ahead to your big day

Once your initial excitement has settled a little, and you’ve had time to share it with family and friends, your thoughts will inevitably turn to the wedding itself.  Obviously we’re going through a rather strange time at the moment as far ceremonies and celebrations are concerned.  The team at Clevedon Hall are up to speed with all the latest developments and you’ll find they can answer a lot of the questions that are bound to be bothering you.  Give us a call!

There has been much speculation about what we can expect in the way of “the new normal”.  These discussions have been wide ranging, covering everything from new working practices to the future of air travel and tourism.  There has also been much conjecture around how wedding ceremonies and celebrations will have to change in world where covid remains a serious threat.  Rather than add to that debate we thought we’d turn the subject on its head and ask “what was the old normal where weddings were concerned?”  Some of the ideas and practices from days of yore certainly seem odd from a modern perspective!
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Ancient Egypt

Lifespans were shorter so boys were usually married by the age of 15 to 20 while girls wed younger, sometimes as early as 12 years old.  Sex before marriage and illegitimacy were not frowned upon – attitudes were very open.  

Before the 26th Dynasty (664 to 332 BC) women had little say in their choice of partner – the man and the bride's parents simply came to an arrangement.  Despite this statues and portraits usually depict happy couples and what writings survive suggest that many relationships were fond and romantic.  
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It was very important to find a compatible partner and build a good relationship because the ancient Egyptians believed marriage to be eternal – you were reunited in the afterlife and who wants to be miserably married for ever?!  The wedding ceremony was very simple - the bride simply moved herself and her belongings into the groom's house, at which point the families had a little celebration.

Things were slightly different for royalty.  Whereas incest was frowned upon for everyone else the practice was popular amongst the rulers.  The idea was that would preserve the purity of the royal lineage.  The result, however, was genetic corruption and many royal babies didn't survive. Cleopatra married both of her brothers, Ptolemy XIII and Ptolemy XIV, but either of the marriages produced offspring. Tutankhamun married his half-sister Ankhesenamun when he was about 10 years old and she was between 8 and 10 years old.  Their two daughters were both stillborn.  Tutankhamun himself was deformed, probably because his parents were brother and sister.
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Ancient Rome

The Romans had three types of wedding.  The poshest was Conferratio, reserved for the highest members of society.  The Flamin Dalis (Highest Priest of Jupiter) and Pontifex Maximus (Chief High Priest) presided over the ceremony and ten other witnesses had to be present as well. This luxurious event got its name from the spelt cake (farreum) enjoyed at the festivities.
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Coemptio was for plebians, the middle classes, and enacted a transaction where the bride was sold to the groom.  It was symbolic – she wasn’t really being purchased.  At least five witnesses had to be present as the two lovers recited their vows. The wife came down the aisle with her dowry, signifying that she and all her possessions were at the hands of her husband.

Usus was the least formal arrangement, practiced by the lower classes..  After a year together the wife could confirm the arrangement or regain her freedom.  
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Middle Ages

In medieval times most marriages were arranged between the parents and the objective was to secure political advantage or wealth.  Women had little say in the matter – they were regarded as property to be passed from one family to another.  Husbands and wives were generally strangers until they first met. If love was involved at all, it came after the couple had been married.  

The family of the girl would give a dowry, or donation, to the boy she was to marry. This was to provide the girl with the funds to buy whatever household items were required for their new home and to help her support herself and her children if the husband predeceased her.

Once the marriage was arranged a notice was posted on the door of the church to invite anyone to come forward if they knew of any grounds for prohibiting the marriage.  

During the ceremony the bride stood to the left of the groom - due to the belief that Eve was created out of Adam's left rib.  The bride usually wore a dress of blue, signifying purity.  The ceremony was followed by a feast, with much wine, singing and dancing.  The cakes, however, was not sweet, and covered in icing but the kind of unsweetened wheat-based bread that people would eat every day.
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No wedding was complete until it was consummated and in the early days of the middle ages this meant witnesses were present when the couple jumped into bed.  Not only did guests follow the couple into the bedroom but it was considered good luck to rip a piece off the bride’s dress.  This practice gradually came to be seen as slightly uncivilised but the bride would toss her bouquet to her bridesmaids, and the groom would remove her garter and throw it to his mates as a symbolic gesture that they would soon be fully “man and wife”.  
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From 1500 onwards

In Elizabethan times many couples didn’t bother with witnesses or a proper ceremony.  The authorities were so dismayed by this that in 1563 the Council of Trent decreed that marriages should be celebrated in the presence of a priest and at least two witnesses.  This didn’t entirely stop people taking shortcuts or bending the rules and many marriages were either “irregular” or “clandestine”.  

An "irregular" marriage was one that took place either away from the home parish of the spouses (but after banns or license), or at an improper time (during Lent or Advent, for instance). "Clandestine" marriages were those that had an element of secrecy to them, taking place away from a home parish and without either banns or marriage license.  It has been estimated that towards the end of the 17th century about a third of marriages in this country were either irregular or clandestine.
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The Marriage Duty Act 1695 put an end to irregular marriages at parochial churches by penalizing clergymen who married couples without banns or licence. By a legal quirk, however, clergymen operating in London’s Fleet debtor’s prison could not effectively be proceeded against, and the clandestine marriage business there carried on. In the 1740s over half of all London weddings were taking place in the environs of the Fleet Prison.  The majority of Fleet marriages were for honest purposes, when couples simply wanted to get married quickly or at low cost.
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In 1753, Lord Hardwicke's Marriage Act was passed, which required, under pain of annulment, that banns should be published or a license obtained and the marriage should be solemnized in church by a recognized clergyman with at least two witnesses present. Clergymen conducting clandestine marriages were liable to transportation.  This effectively ut a stop to this practice and couples had to travel to Scotland, the nearest point being Gretna Green.  This had substantial use until 1856, when Scottish law was changed to require 21 days' residence.
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Today

Tying the knot these days is very different.  Some old traditions and requirements still remain but much else has been lost in the sands of time.  Right now it’s hard to say what a modern wedding looks like – it’s changing by the day!  If you’d like discuss your plans, and what’s possible in the immediate future, our expert and experienced team are here to help.

 There has been a spinning blue circle hovering over the entire wedding world for many weeks, with more than 100,000 celebrations frozen by lockdown.  Soon, however, we’ll all be able to press “restart” and get things rolling again.  With this in mind it’s probably a good time to remind people why Clevedon Hall is a wedding venue that has an awful lot to recommend it!
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Creating the right atmosphere

The space, whether it’s a converted barn or a hotel ballroom, a marquee in a field or a posh restaurant, sets the whole tone for your wedding.  They all have their charms but few can match Clevedon Hall for sheer “wow!” factor.  It’s a grand mansion in the Jacobean Revival style, but not too grand.  The architecture is similar to Highclere House, better known as Downton abbey, but on a smaller scale.  Impressive, but not overpowering or intimidating, it was created as a family home, but one with splendid hospitality and lavish entertainment very much in mind.
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It won’t cramp your style

Clevedon Hall, unlike many other venues, is very flexible.  There’s a number of different rooms that can be combined in variety of ways to suit your particular needs. The Grand Library is perfect for formal banqueting.  The Great Hall makes a stately setting for receiving guests, enjoying drinks and canapes or dancing and partying late into the night.  
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There are great spaces for holding the wedding ceremony itself and smaller rooms for those who want to socialise in smaller groups.  There’s a separate bar so keeping the drinks flowing is no problem.  The orangery is a lovely light space in which to relax with afternoon tea, a cocktail or a soft drink.  Upstairs there are plenty of bedrooms and outside there are extensive gardens (more details below)  
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So, no matter what kind of wedding you have in mind, whether it’s a relatively small and intimate affair or something on a grand scale, you can mix and match these spaces in a variety of different ways – there’s plenty of flexibility and freedom to tailor everything exactly as you’d like.  This promises to be especially important while social distancing is a requirement – a situation that may be with us for quite some time.  
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The great outdoors

A venue where guests can enjoy themselves outdoors (but come inside if the weather turns nasty) is a real plus.  You can’t beat a social event under sunny blue skies – prosecco, a barbecue, live music, Pimms, fireworks, canapes on the lawn, children’s games…what’s not to like?!  
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With two and a half acres of gorgeous gardens, including a tree-lined drive, sweeping lawns and private lake Clevedon Hall really does how it all in terms alfresco entertaining.  

And if you really want to put the icing on the outdoor wedding cake there’s our gazebo.  This beautifully hand-crafted feature, with seating for 150 guests on the surrounding terrace, allows the bride to make a dramatic entrance along our winding path.  A perfect spot for your ceremony and photos!
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And so to bed

At Clevedon Hall we have 25 individually designed bedrooms that combine luxurious comfort with the very latest hi-tech facilities.  Each one is different, and charming in its own way – sumptuous furnishings and fabrics, period architectural features, stylish bathrooms and some with breath taking views of the gardens and sea.
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At the end of your big day, with many hours of eating drinking, dancing and socialising behind them, guest will really appreciate being able to stagger up the stairs and fall into a great big comfy bed!  So much better than waiting around for a taxi, a bit of a drive, then a night in a room that’s probably a bit soulless and functional.  
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Eat, drink and be merry

If music be the food of love…can we say the same is true in reverse?  The fact is that the eating and drinking experience can pretty much make or break a wedding.  From start to finish there are glasses of bubbly, dishes of canapes, wine flowing freely, a formal three course meal, port and brandy to round off the dinner, plentiful cups of tea and coffee, cakes and pastries, then beers, wines and cocktails late into the night, with evening food for hungry revellers.  
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That’s a big ask for any team but thankfully at Clevedon Hall we have our very own in-house chef with lashings of culinary talent and big helpings of industry experience. He is passionate about his food and loves to bring a couples’ imaginative foodie ideas to life for their special day.  When it comes to the wining and dining Clevedon Hall never fails to delight!
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Location, location, location

As the name suggests Clevedon Hall is in Clevedon.  That makes it easy to reach – we’re just five minutes from Junction 20 of the M5.   It’s only a 30 minute drive from central Bristol and from Bristol Airport, so very handy for you and your guests.  

Some venues are in remote rural locations that are hard to find.  With us it’s easy -   simply head for the seafront and you can’t go far wrong (Clevedon is not too big – it’ll only take you 5 minutes after coming off the motorway).
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The surroundings are very picturesque.  The Hall is cocooned in its own spacious gardens, with sweeping views of the Bristol Channel.  The town is charming too – a mini seaside resort that has retained its air of Victorian elegance and which your guests are sure to love.
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Exclusive use

Unlike a hotel, or many other venues, you can have the whole house, and the grounds, exclusively to yourselves.  There’s no sharing with other guests and our whole team is entirely focused on making your day everything you could wish for.
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All the help you need to create your perfect day

Our team of event management professionals provide everything from meticulous planning to inspired catering, with outstanding personal service to match – they specialize in exceeding expectations!  They’re also more than happy to share their extensive experience – so whatever questions you may have about the offering at Clevedon Hall, or about how to make your big day the best ever, just ask away!