Trends, Tips, & Ideas For Your Next Big Event

As we slowly emerge from lockdown it looks like weddings will resume soon…possibly…maybe.  The government guidance is a bit vague and could change if there’s a resurgence of cases.  So, for the immediate future, it’s hard to predict what’s going to happen.  Small ceremonies could be allowed soon, with bigger occasions permitted eventually…presumably(?!).  If you’ve had to put your plans on hold then you are not alone – over 100,000 other couples have also had to postpone.  The good news is that weddings will start to go ahead again, at some point, and in some form.  In this post we look at what shape the new normal might take.
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Planning goes virtual

Venue show-rounds, dress research, tasting cakes…with a bit of creativity it can all be done from the comfort, and safety, of your own home.  Many suppliers are conducting virtual video appointments, caterers and cake makers are delivering tasters, bridesmaids dresses can be sent to their homes to be tried on, and venues are embracing virtual tours and digital tools to help you imagine your day in the space.
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Small is the new big  

Weddings will inevitably become more intimate.  Government restrictions will be relaxed gradually so you may be able to hold a very small ceremony and celebration soon.  However, even when larger numbers are permitted caution about the potential health risks will probably mean guest lists are more pared down than before.  Those who aren’t invited will understand and some guests, especially those who have fears for their vulnerability, may decline anyway.  

In some ways this is good news.  Really?  Yes, your budget will go further and you’ll be able to afford more celebration for your money.  You can go large on the guest experience and splash out on your priority items like amazing food, a free bar, live entertainment or floral displays.  Yay!
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Embrace the outdoors

Look for a venue with plenty of space in the fresh air where germs are less likely to hang around.  An outdoor ceremony makes a lot of sense, photographs and reception drinks on the lawn always go down well.  In the evening it’s great to have an outside lounge area with braziers and romantic lighting where guests can mingle in the evening.
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Say goodbye to receiving lines

Greeting every guest with a hug or handshake is not recommended.   What about a bow, a wave or a foot tap?  
 

Live stream your big day

Because guest lists are likely to be shorter and at-risk loved ones absent it would be a nice idea to set up a digital platform where they can watch the proceedings from afar.  Create a digital guestbook where they can record a message.  You could also send them a little bottle of champagne and a wedding favour.  Emailing the order of service ahead of time is also a nice touch.  
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Weekday weddings are the way to go

There’s now a huge backlog of postponed weddings so venues and suppliers will be very busy.  A lot of couples will be opting to wed on a weekday rather than wait a long time for an available weekend.    
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Covid-compliant celebrations  

Everyone will have to take steps to ensure the event is as risk-free as possible. Your venue and suppliers will probably introduce lots of new measures which are likely to include contactless taps in kitchens and bathrooms, deep-cleaning before and after the wedding, and staff wearing PPE.  Ask them what they have planned and work with them to do your bit.  You might like to consider:

·         Adding hand sanitising stations.  Everyone will be opening doors, picking up glasses, touching chairs, shaking hands – have lots of hand sanitiser and wipes available for and display them in a creative way.  

·         Provide gloves and masks.  Warn guest you expect them to wear gloves and masks – explain they can bring their own but also provide extra (ushers can hand them out as guests arrive).  Disposable ones should be changed so make sure there are replacements readily accessible.  You could also buy customised fabric masks that fit in with the theme and design of your wedding for guests to take home.  

·         Plated meals rather than a buffet.  Buffets and sharing platters are popular but passé now.  Plated meals will become essential and trays of hors d’oeuvres will be replaced by individual bowl food.  The same principles will apply to desserts.
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·         Make sure the bar is contactless.  If you’re asking guests to buy their own drinks make sure your bar is cashless-enabled.  

·         Social distancing signs.  People will need regular reminders but use signs that are nicely designed, not bossy!

·         Make it an unplugged wedding?  Guests who take photos then pass their phone to another guest are spreading germs.  Perhaps ask everyone to refrain from using their mobiles and rely on your professional photographer to take lots of shots.
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What else do you want to know?

Your wedding, when it eventually happens, won’t be quite as you originally planned.  You’ll also have to rethink just about every aspect of the process, from the engagement party to the honeymoon.  Although all this is new to us too the team at Clevedon Hall has a wealth of experience, knowledge and ideas to share – so whatever questions you may have…just ask away!

We’ve hosted hundreds of happy couples for their big day at Clevedon Hall and have a lot of wonderful memories we share with them.  Those who’ve tied the knot over the last 12 months have their first wedding anniversary to look forward to – as have all those who are to wed in the months ahead.  Obviously this is a big event and calls for an appropriate celebration.  In this post we offer up a few suggestions to make the day, and night, suitably magical.  Some of these ideas won’t work while we’re all in lockdown or still have to practice social distancing but hopefully things will start to ease off a bit soon.
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Throw a party

Get your family and friends together for round two of your nuptials. The best idea is to get everyone together a Clevedon Hall again – we specialise in hosting amazing anniversary parties and can provide everything you need in terms of the food, the drinks, the accommodation and a band or DJ.  If your anniversary falls in the summer you’ll have the run of the gardens and grounds and we can arrange a BBQ, a hog roast, drinks on the terrace, outdoor fun and games, even fireworks!
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Anniversary getaway

Your first wedding anniversary is the perfect excuse for a romantic break.  If you managed to get away for a honeymoon then you might like to head back there.  Or maybe you had a honeymoon planned and had to cancel or reschedule it.  This is your chance to put that right!  It will probably take a while for the airline industry to return to business as usual so you may decide to opt for a staycation.  Our previous blog post about great honeymoon spots in the UK should give you some inspiration!   Wherever you decide to go it will give you some quality time together and allow you to reflect on your happy wedding day memories.
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Let us eat cake

It's traditional to eat the top layer of your wedding cake on your first anniversary.  In the old days a wedding cake was usually dripping with liqueur which helped preserve it.  Nowadays you’ll probably want to keep it fresh in the freezer.  Follow these tips carefully and it should be lovely in 365 days’ time.
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1. Immediately after the wedding, place the top tier of the cake in the freezer for a few hours to freeze the outer layer of icing.

2. Next, loosely wrap it with freezer-safe plastic wrap. Cover every inch of cake and ensure no piece remains exposed. This will help you to ward off the dreaded freezer burn.

3. Once wrapped, place the tier into a cake box (available from a local craft store, or ask your baker to provide one ahead of time.)

4. Wrap the cake box in the same plastic wrap to seal it from moisture, air, etc.

5. Finally, place the box in the back of the freezer for safekeeping.  

When your anniversary comes around retrieve your cake and find the most romantic spot imaginable to enjoy it.  It could be a moonlit beach, the spot where you first met, the place where he proposed…just choose somewhere that’s special for both of you.
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Say “I do” to adventure

Your honeymoon was all about romance.  And there’s no harm in recreating that magic.  But this time around you might decide there’s an opportunity to try something entirely different.  It can still be romantic but you might want to add in a bit of extra excitement, adventure and novelty.
 

The range of options is endless, from learning to surf in Cornwall to kayaking around Sweden’s picturesque islands, seeing the Northern Lights and staying in an ice hotel to a trip from London to Venice on the Orient Express.  A word of caution, however – nothing too extreme (cage diving with Great White Sharks or running with the bulls in Pamplona) as that might put a bit of a strain on your relationship!  Stick to stuff you’ll both enjoy and just doing the research and planning will be a bit of an adventure in itself!
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Masterchef it at home

A romantic meal for two is always a winner.  Just make sure you go totally overboard – loads of candles, set the table with all the “good” plates, cutlery, include napkins, flowers, a different wine glass for every course, the full works.  Three courses, at least.  And make a bit of effort with the recipes – beans on toast, a ready meal or cardboard pizza out of the freezer are not acceptable!   Something cheeky (Jamie), naughty (Nigella) or cosy (Delia) should do nicely.  

The drinks are obviously crucial.  A cocktail or something bubbly to start.  Wine with starter and main.  A dessert wine, possibly, or port, to round things off.  Then maybe a brandy, or a baileys?  But obviously watch the quantities as cuddling up afterwards is not good when the room is spinning round!  

Talking of the cuddling up…this is a great opportunity to watch your wedding video again.
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A night on the town

Date night – but it’s a big one so make sure you really push the boat out.  For starters, get glammed up.  Dinner at a favourite restaurant (or the first one you ever enjoyed together)?  A night at the theatre or a concert (with dinner before/after)?  A full-on afternoon tea followed by a movie?
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Pampering for the pair of you  

For a truly romantic break book a spa stay and indulge in a couple’s massage. It’s a great way to unwind together and spend time looking back on all the happy times you’ve had together (and plan more for the future).
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We’re here to help

We hope this list gives you some inspiring ideas and that your first anniversary is truly, madly, deeply wonderful.  If we can be of any further help don’t hesitate to get in touch.  The team here are more than happy to share their experience – and we’d be delighted to organise an anniversary party at Clevedon Hall if that’s something you’d like to do!

It was supposed to be my wedding day…and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to…  If you have been forced to postpone your wedding as a result of the Corona virus then we know how you feel – bitterly disappointed.  And if you’ve shed a few tears that’s not only understandable but healthy.  You need to let those emotions rip!

Once the shock and the pain have subsided you’ll have got yourself busy doing the necessary – organising a new date, working through the issues with your suppliers, checking that all your most important guests will be available when everything is rescheduled and so on.  In the process you’ll realise that you are not alone – April, May and June are popular months for weddings and Bridebook estimates that means (assuming things return to “normal” in July) 64,000 of them will have to be cancelled and rebooked.  They also reckon 79,200 UK couples will need to re-arrange their honeymoons and 7.8 million wedding guests will need to change their travel plans.  So, if it’s any consolation, a lot of people are in the same boat!

If you were due to wed in April your big day has already passed.  If you were looking forward to a May or June date you have to get through a day that’s potentially pretty miserable.  Many couples, however, have decided to make the best of their bad luck and celebrate anyway.  In this post we share a few ideas you might find helpful.  
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Zoom to the rescue

A few couples have gone ahead and tied the knot in lockdown with the help of zoom.  They’ve got themselves all dressed up, welcomed the guests, exchanged their vows, popped the bubbly, cut the cake, had their first dance and then partied away as if it was situation normal.  
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On the 18th April 2020 Governor Andrew Cuomo announced that he had signed an Executive Order allowing New Yorkers to obtain marriage licences remotely and authorising clerks to perform ceremonies via video conference.  Similar measures have also been introduced in Colorado where couples are being allowed to apply for marriage licences online.  The United Arab Emirates recently announced that citizens and residents would be able to get married online with virtual ceremonies able to take place once required documents have been lodged online.  However, in the UK, marriages conducted via zoom are not legally recognised.  You can have a ceremony, and a celebration, but you’ll have to go through the legal formalities later to complete the knot tying.  So most of those couples going the virtual route, both here and in the states, plan to have full-on in-person “offline” weddings at a later date.  What’s not to like – you can have your wedding cake and eat it!

Some of you, however, might just want to save the partying and ceremonial stuff for a later date, when social distancing is hopefully no more than an unpleasant memory.  For you a more low key approach might be appropriate – and there are plenty of fun ways to mark the occasion.
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Romantic candlelit dinner for two  

You’ve got all day so go the whole hog with a starter, a main and a dessert.  And make it a bit more adventurous than your regular dinner.  A tin of soup followed by a pizza from the freezer and a tub of ice cream might satisfy your taste buds but it hardly rises to the occasion.  Forget convenience, this is all about romance!
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The right drinks choice is also important to set the tone.  Something bubbly to start off with, or a cocktail.  Then a really nice bottle of wine – not the usual £3.99 stuff you take with you to a party!  And maybe a liqueur to round things of nicely.  Create a suitable playlist, turn the lights down low, get dressed up and enjoy!  
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Love out loud  

Practice makes perfect so you could use part of your day together finalising your vows and reciting them to get everything word perfect.   You could even take it a stage further and prepare Love Island-style speeches to express how much you mean to one another.  
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Unplug for the evening

Ban the TV, smartphones and tablets (OMG, really?!) and rediscover the gentle art of conversation.  This definitely works best when you are cuddled up with a glass of wine (or two…).  
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Game on

Dig out the cards, the Monopoly board, the Trivial Pursuits, the Scrabble, the Jenga…and have some forfeits for the loser, obviously.  It might all seem a bit old fashioned but it’s a great way to break out of your routine and mix things up a bit.  Mr and Mrs is the perfect game to play on your would-be wedding night and there are plenty of apps which offer quizzes designed for couples – so go for it!
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Release your inner mixologist

Been saving a bottle of bubbly for a special occasion?  This would be a great excuse for popping the cork.  Or you could brush up on your mixology skills.  Never made a Mojito, a Manhattan or a Margarita?  Now would be a good time to put that right.  You could also try some of the more outlandish ones – anyone for a Hanky-Panky, a Fluffy Critter or a Between the Sheets?
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Binge on the box

Spend the entire evening (and day?!) watching back to back episodes of your favourite series and box sets.  The entire Star Wars saga from end to end?  How many episodes of Game of Thrones before you can’t take any more?  Or something more manageable, like Fleabag?  Make sure you lay in plentiful supplies of popocorn, taco chips, pizza, ice cream and drinks….
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Afternoon tea for two  

You don’t have to go to The Ritz, The Savoy or another of those fantastically expensive upmarket hotels to enjoy this traditional treat.  You could stage your own personal Bake Off challenge to see which of you can create the most impressive and tasty Victoria Sponge, cupcakes, chocolate eclairs, fruit scones and iced buns.  Not forgetting the dainty finger sandwiches: cucumber, smoked salmon, egg mayonnaise….
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Pamper party  

Make the most of a day indoors with quality time spent relaxing and de-stressing. Stock up on bath bombs, scented oils, face masks and body creams ordered online and indulge the senses with treatments aplenty. You could even treat each other to an invigorating back massage, an aromatherapy massage or a spot of reflexology massage.  
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Raise a glass with guests

Even if you don’t want to go for a full on virtual ceremony and celebration there’s nothing to stop you using one of the apps like facetime, zoom or house party to “get together” with select groups of friends and family at different points during the day.  Try not to make each group too big otherwise (as you’ve probably already discovered) the system struggles to cope and either everyone speaks at once or they’re afraid to say anything!   These sessions work best when everyone has a drink to hand….  
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Stay safe and carry on  

We hope these little ideas help you enjoy your big day – we know you’re disappointed and that these are stressful times but the bonus is you get to enjoy the occasion twice.  

Just before Coronavirus rushed its way around the planet we were lucky enough to host this fabulous wedding for Bridget and George. The couple had their ceremony in our stunning Orangery made by David Salisbury. Day was captured by the amazing Jordanna Marston.

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 The coronavirus crisis is hard on everyone – whether you’re working in a hospital or cooped up with kids at home, struggling with bills now your job is on hold or you’ve actually got the symptoms and are feeling sick as hell, the situation is tough.  That’s certainly the case for those of who’ve already had to postpone a wedding or are now beginning to realise that the longer this goes on the more likely they’ll soon have to do the same.

Even if your wedding day is sufficiently far off to avoid postponement the preparations will largely have to go on hold – it’s much harder to try on dresses, go for cake tasting sessions and shop for your wedding rings under the current lockdown guidelines.

There are a few things you can do, however, to make good use of the time.  You can do more online research into everything from honeymoon destinations to floral arrangements, add stuff to your wedding website, think about what vows you’d like and shop around sites like Etsy for wedding favour ideas.  Plus there’s one idea that we think everyone will love - and which is perfect for long evenings in lockdown….research into what drinks to serve on your big day!  There’s no ban on drinking alcohol at home and you can have a lot of fun trying different beers, wines and home-made cocktails.  
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Beer and wine

You can take your pick from your local store or get a delivery.  There’s so much choice, and your decision is so much a matter of personal taste and individual budget, that we hesitate to advise you.  What we would say is that you’ll almost certainly need a mix of bitter and lager, red and white, with something sparkling as well.  Needless to say you’ll have to do a lot of tasting before coming to a final decision!  

If you want some advice about quantities to order then you’ll find our blog post on Buying the wedding drinks really helpful.

However, when it comes to the matter of ordering and serving spirits things get a little more complicated simply because some people are not going to be satisfied with a simple gin & tonic or a whiskey on the rocks.  
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General advice on cocktails

It’s easy to get carried away when you start thinking of all the possibilities.  Our suggestion is to keep things simple.  It’s best to offer your guests a limited selection that are relatively quick and easy to prepare.  That way everyone gets served swiftly and you make stocking the bar less complicated.  

An added benefit of this approach is you can mix and taste these at home – enjoy!
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‍Champagne cocktail

Champagne and sparkling wine are always served at a wedding but there are countless ways to give them a twist.  Add a dash of crème de cassis (blackcurrant liqueur) and you have a refreshing glass of Kir Royale.  Half a flute of Guinness topped up with bubbly and you have a smooth and seductive Black Velvet.  Orange juice and sparkling wine makes Buck’s Fizz.  That’s just three ideas for starters…
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‍Martini

A timeless classic that’s probably the most recognizable gin cocktail of all time.  James Bond, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Ernest Hemingway , and other fictional and historical greats have been known to enjoy the martini, and it has been associated with high society and good living for over a century.  Comes with many subtle variations – all of which really hit the spot!   The basic recipe: Mix 60ml of vodka or gin with one tablespoon of dry vermouth in a cocktail shaker with a little ice, then pour into a glass with an olive or lemon peel to garnish.  
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Manhattan

Invented in New York City’s Manhattan Club around the mid-1870s and rapidly became the most famous cocktail in the world.  Mix 2 ounces bourbon or rye with 1 ounce sweet vermouth, 2 dashes Angostura bitters and 1 dash orange bitters in a mixing glass with ice and stir until well chilled.  Then pour into a chilled coupe glass garnished with a brandied cherry.  
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Spritz

This Italian cocktail provides a refreshing start to any party, combining the bitterness of Aperol with balanced with fizzy soda and Prosecco.  It couldn’t be easier to prepare, has a wonderful orange glow and slips down as beautifully as the sun on a balmy summer evening.   Put a couple of cubes of ice in a glass, add 100ml of Aperol and 150ml prosecco then top up with soda water.

Mojito

Originating in Cuba, this fashionable, tropical cocktail was one of Ernest Hemmingway’s favourite drinks. The lime and mint are used to accent the rum, creating a sure-fire crowd pleaser. Squeeze the juice from a lime into a small jug with 1 teaspoon of granulated sugar and small handful mint.  Crush the mint with the end of a rolling pin to extract the flavour.  Pour into a tall glass with ice then pour in 60ml of white rum and stir. Top up with soda water, garnish with mint and serve.
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Cosmopolitan

Lipsmackingly sweet-and-sour, the Cosmopolitan cocktail is the epitome of a good time in a glass.  There are many variations of the drink with gin being substituted in a cocktail that became popular in the 1930s.  The vodka based version emerged in the 1970s and became legendary thanks to it being the drink of choice for the lead characters in the hit TV show Sex and the City.  Put 120ml of vodka in a cocktail shaker with 60 ml of Cointreau, 60ml of cranberry juice and the juice of one lime with some ice.  Give it a good shake then strain into two martini glasses.  
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Pina colada

Rich and creamy, but sweet, this cocktail is said to have originated in Puerto Rico and immediately conjures up images of swaying palms and sun-kissed tropical beaches.  Put 120ml of pineapple juice in a blender with 60ml of white rum, 60ml of coconut cream with some ice then whizz it all up.  Pour it into a tall glass and garnish with a wedge of pineapple.  Substitute vodka for the rum and you have a Chi chi.  Substitute amaretto for the rum and you have an amaretto colada.  It’s the kind of cocktail that invites experimentation!
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Margarita  

Tangy and exotic this a wonderful thirst-quencher when the weather is hot.  A popular drink in Mexico (Margarita is Spanish for “daisy”) discovered by drinkers in the US when they crossed the border during the prohibition years in search of alcohol.  It’s slightly more fiddly than the other cocktails listed here, but well worth the extra effort.  Sprinkle a little salt on a saucer, then wipe the rim of your martini glass with lime juice. Turn the glass upside down, place in the salt and twist to coat.  Stir 50ml of tequila in a cocktail shaker with 1½ tablespoons of lime juice and 1 tablespoon of triple sec with some ice, give it a good shake then strain into a chilled martini glass garnished with a slice of lime.
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Last orders

Obviously we suggest you drink responsibly but lockdown does give you the perfect excuse for some enjoyable research and development work in the alcoholic beverages department.  On a slightly more serious note we realise that many of those planning a wedding will have more questions to ask than they would in the normal run of things.  Our experienced team are more than happy to help in any way they can.  

In our previous post we discussed some of the ways the coronavirus could upset your wedding plans.  That was four weeks ago and things have got considerably worse than we anticipated – to the extent that all public social gatherings involving more than two people have been banned as the country has been placed in lockdown.  

How long is this state of affairs going to continue?  Nobody knows for sure.  What we can say is that things will return to normal…eventually.  In the meantime, with wedding plans around the country on hold and all but “essential workers” confined at home, we thought we’d recommend some uplifting and humorous comedy movies that feature wedding preparations and celebrations – enjoy!  

NB, we’ve already featured 10 wedding themed movies in an earlier post so in this list some of the most obvious candidates are missing – for those other classics click here.  
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MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING

Julianne, played by Julia Roberts, anticipates a proposal from her handsome former college buddy Michael O'Neal, played by Dermot Mulroney.  Imagine her shock when he introduces her to sweet-natured fiancé Kimmy Wallace, played by Cameron Diaz.  Invited to be maid of honour at the wedding Julianne agrees – but only so she is better placed to sabotage the show and get the happy couple to split up before the knot is tied.  
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THE WEDDING PLANNER

Jennifer Lopez stars in this light hearted romantic comedy as Mary Fiore, a highly ambitious and successful San Francisco wedding planner.   Having given up on love after catching her fiancé cheating she believes she is immune to cupid’s arrows.  To her dismay she finds herself falling for Steve Edison (Matthew McConaughey), a successful paediatrician and one of her wealthy clients.  You can probably guess the ending but the twists and turns are very entertaining.
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SIDEWAYS

Jack enjoys the last few days of bachelor freedom with his mate Miles on a wine tasting trip that rapidly spins out of control.  This comically mismatched pair of losers find themselves toppling into midlife crisis as they mix wine with women.  Against all the odds, and after some hilarious adventures, Jack’s wedding eventually takes place… but that’s not the end of the story for mixed up Miles.  “Charming, thoughtful, and often funny, Sideways is a decidedly mature road trip comedy full of excellent performances” comments review site Rotten Tomatoes, which gives the film a near perfect 97% score.
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BRIDE WARS  

Childhood best friends Liv and Emma planned every detail of their respective weddings together.  Top of the wish list for both is New York's ultimate bridal destination, the Plaza Hotel.  They just didn’t plan to do it on the same day.  Cue an amusing bridezilla-fest as the two find themselves falling out big time.  Kate Hudson’s and Anne Hathaway's characters learn some important wedding planning lessons that you’ll find as instructional as they are entertaining.

AMERICAN WEDDING  

If binge-watching too many sickly sweet rom-com  wedding moves gives you an unwelcome sugar rush this should prove the perfect antidote.  Raunchy, gross and satisfyingly childish this will certainly take your mind off the more serious wedding challenges you are wrestling with at the moment.  NB, we won’t bother to describe the plot as there isn’t one…but who cares anyway when the laughs keep coming?  
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PLUS ONE  

Single college friends Ben and Alice view a summer full of weddings, in which everyone but them is pairing off into marital bliss, as something to be survived rather than enjoyed.  They agree to be each other’s plus one at all these mortifying events.  It’s an amusing mashup of other popular wedding movies with two well matched leads and no shortage of entertaining wisecracks.
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CRAZY RICH ASIANS  

Native New Yorker Rachel Chu accompanies long-time boyfriend Nick Young to his best friend's wedding in Singapore.  What follows is a twist on the “Meet the Parents” theme when Rachel discovers Nick’s family is totally minted …and that he is therefore one of Asia’s most eligible bachelors.  No pressure then as Rachel find herself attacked from all sides by jealous socialites and Nick’s formidable mother.  Money may not buy love but it certainly stirs up plenty of the opposite!
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THE HANGOVER  

Not very romantic, but non-stop raunchy, gross and cringe-making laughs as four men behave badly, and then some, on a stag-do in Vegas.  The three worse-for-wear groomsmen have 48 hours to find the groom and get him to the wedding on time – which is not easy when none of them can remember much about the night before.  The movie became a massive hit – for good reason.    
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27 DRESSES

Jane, played by Katherine Heigl is an idealistic, romantic and selfless soul who moonlights as a professional bridesmaid.  She’s also secretly in love with George, her boss.  Things get tricky when her sister Tess falls for George, swiftly wins his heart by devious means, the asks Jane to act as their wedding planner.  In the meantime Jane has met Kevin, a journalist who decides to feature her in an article about serial bridesmaids.  These two plot lines become entangled and all sorts of drama ensues.  It’s all a bit silly and frivolous, but a lot of fun – just what you need to take your mind off your own wedding challenges in this time of coronavirus.
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THE WEDDING DATE

Kat is not looking forward to attending the wedding of her spoilt and self-centred sister in London – the best man is her handsome ex-boyfriend.  In desperation she hires Nick Mercer, one of New York's better known and in-demand professional male escorts, a man guaranteed to inspire jealousy and lust.  The plan works beautifully until…you guessed it, the professional relationship with her plus one threatens to get a bit more personal as Kat realises that she too is not immune to Nick’s charm.  
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We’re still here for you

Once you’ve watched that lot you’ll hopefully be in a better frame of mind to tackle any issues surrounding your own wedding.  The team at Clevedon Hall are now working from home but happy to give you any help, advise and support they can.  Visit our dedicated covid-19 web page for more information of what arrangements we’ve made for doing that.

Even if you are totally engrossed in preparing for your wedding it has probably not escaped your notice that the world is starting to seriously worry about the spread of corona virus.  The two things may not seem to be remotely connected…until you realise that this bug is going to affect pretty much everything – weddings included.  

In this post we just flag up a few things you might need to factor into your plans.  
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Time to rethink getting married abroad

The idea of tying the knot on a tropical beach or in a romantic foreign destination has huge appeal.  Until you realise that getting there (to say nothing of back home again) could suddenly become a lot more tricky if the country or local area has an outbreak.
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Even if the region doesn’t go into total lockdown the airline could suspend your flights (or go into liquidation!).  A large number of different carriers (oops, probably shouldn’t use that word in this context…) are busy cancelling hundreds of flights in response to what is being described as “demand destruction”.  British Airways, Ryanair, Virgin and most of the big Asian airlines have been cancelling up to 25% of flights as passenger numbers have all but collapsed on certain routes.

If you’ve already booked a wedding abroad and the flights are cancelled?  You are entitled to a full refund.  There will be delays, however, and it’ll be a problematic process, particularly if you used an online agent to make the original booking.  But what about all the other costs, like your hotel bookings and such like?  You’ll have to check the small print on your travel insurance.  

Even if it’s possible to fly to a particular destination you’ll definitely find some of your guests reluctant to travel when planes, airports and hotels are great places to catch infectious diseases.

In the circumstances it makes a lot of sense to wed closer to home.  If you decide to rethink your plans and want to find a venue in the UK as a matter of some urgency then we do have a very few dates still available at Clevedon Hall – but you’d better hurry as we expect them to go soon.  
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Honeymoon, minimoon, stag and hen do

How many people honeymoon and minimoon abroad?  A lot!  Then there’s the stag and hen capers.   Recent research concludes that almost half of all flights taken by men aged 20-45 are for stag dos, while a third of flights account for women’s hen trips.

So, even if you intend to wed in this country you probably have some other travel plans included.  For the reasons discussed above we suggest you check your travel insurance.  And if you were thinking of heading overseas, but haven’t booked yet, you’d be well advised to reconsider.

If you’d like some inspiration on great honeymoon destinations in the UK check out our recent blog post on the subject.
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Unexpected consequences

Some of the ways in which the virus may affect your wedding, like the travel issues, are obvious.  Others are less so.  

Many bridal retailers in the UK import their dresses from China.  With much of that country now in lockdown to prevent further spread of the contagion many factories have been forced to close. Closure means no production and no production means no wedding dresses.  
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Labour MP Chris Bryant recently flagged up this issue in the House of Commons, reporting that shops in the UK were already finding it difficult to keep their businesses going during the peak spring wedding dress shopping season.  The problem is also affecting bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen suits.

What can you do about this to avoid a problem?  Place your orders earlier than planned.
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Wedding insurance

Weddings plans can be disrupted for a wide variety of reasons – and if you haven’t considered a policy up until this point the corona virus outbreak might make you want to think again.

Wedding insurance policy will cover loss or damage due to unforeseen circumstances, like damage to the wedding dress or lost rings,’ Anders explained. This includes:

·         The venue cancels

·         A supplier lets you down

·         You have to cancel because a key person (immediate family, bridesmaids, best man) is unable to make it for serious reasons like a death, illness or jury service

·         Lost, stolen or damaged cake, rings or gifts

·         Weather disruption

·         Not receiving your wedding photos or videos  

·         Public liability cover and legal expenses

·         Miscellaneous other expenses – marquees, for instance

If you took out a policy before the coronavirus outbreak in January 2020 then you are probably covered if:

·         The venue for the wedding or reception is unable to host you because of an outbreak of corona virus or the venue is closed by a relevant authority.  

·         You have to cancel the wedding due to the death or illness of a wedding participants or a close relative, which would make continuing with the wedding and/or wedding reception impossible. (For example, if one of the wedding participants, or a close relative contracted the coronavirus shortly before the wedding, and was unable to attend due to ill health, being in quarantine, or death then that would also be covered.)
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Having said this, wedding insurance will not cover you against every possible corona virus related risk and eventuality.  A policy will give you added peace of mind but you must check the small print carefully!  

Need any more help or advice?

This situation surrounding this public health issue is changing by the day and nobody knows for sure how things are likely to develop.  If you have any questions regarding how this might affect your wedding, or how you should possibly change your plans, the team here are happy to help.  We’ve never had to deal with anything like this before – but we’ll do our best!

Traditionally it is the man who proposes marriage.  However, there’s also another tradition that that women may propose to men, in a leap year, on the 29th of February.   As 2020 is a leap year, and the 29th of February is only about 48 hours away, we thought it timely to explore this topic in a little more detail.  If you pop the question to your beloved on the 29th you need to have the story straight.  And if he still hasn’t asked you well before the next leap year comes around in 2024 you can threaten to do it yourself!  
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Why women never popped the question

So where did this idea that only the man can do the asking come from?  The answer is “from a long way back”.  For as long as anyone can remember marriage has been largely an economic and political transaction.  Think of those boring history lessons you had to sit through where royals marriages were arranged to seal dynastic alliances, even though the two parties had never even seen each other.  Even in the 18th century finding a husband was probably the most important investment a woman could make in order to secure her economic future – just watch any Jane Austen movie (Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, Emma, Persuasion) and you’ll realise that “marrying well” is more about the money and social advancement than the romance.
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Marriage was primarily a business transaction so the families would negotiate a deal - women were treated as property and would be traded from one family to another in exchange for land, offers of protection, or to secure her family's social position. In other cases, women were married off as a means of settling or paying a debt.  Women had no say in the matter – so the idea that they could propose was totally out of the question.

Around the late 1700’s people love and attraction started to come into the equation a little bit more.  However, popping the question remained a male prerogative.  Women had long been considered too emotional and irrational to be trusted to select a good husband, and that mindset continued to inform how love marriages evolved.  Also, men supposedly had more to lose by getting married and it was felt that this meant that they weighed things up more carefully than the flightier sex.
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What’s with this leap year exception to the rule?

There’s an old Irish legend has it that St. Brigid of Kildare, a fifth-century Irish nun, St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, what could be done to help single women whose suitors were too shy to propose.  St Patrick initially gave women permission to propose only once every seven years.  However, St Bridged pushed for every leap year.  When he agreed Brigid then dropped to a knee and proposed to him immediately.  He refused but kissed her on the cheek and offered her a silk gown to take the sting out of the rejection.  The current Irish tradition still dictates that any man refusing a woman's proposal on this day must give her a silk gown.
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Scotland has a similar tradition that originated when an unmarried Queen Margaret allegedly enacted a law in 1288 allowing women to propose on leap-year day.  There was, however, an important clause that stated that the proposer must wear a red petticoat, giving any man who saw her bearing down on him the chance to do a runner if he wanted to avoid an awkward scene!

Both these stories are pretty suspect, it must be said.  Historians put St Brigid's age at 9 or 10 when St Patrick died, making the whole event pretty unlikely.  Queen Margaret was only 5 years old in 1288 and historians have also not been able to find any references to such a law.

What about the ring?

If the woman is the one doing the proposing that raises a few issues around the engagement ring.  Does she buy her own ring, to give him, so he can slip it on her finger?  Or does she buy a £1 ring from Poundland (really, they’re selling them!) and wait for him to get a more expensive one once he’s said “yes”?  Or does she present him with a luxury watch, then he buys her a ring in return?  

If you check out a few wedding forums you’ll find that there’s no hard and fast rule.  You’ll just have to somehow work it out between you!
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Where are we today?

A recent report suggests that in 97% of heterosexual couple it was the man who asked the question.  This is a bit surprising when you think how far women have come in terms of establishing equal status with men.  And women tend to find it easier to express their feelings than men – so it’s probably easier for them to do the asking than it is for some emotionally reticent bloke who finds it hard to put his love into words.  

Yet traditions that have taken thousands of years to cement themselves at the heart of our society are hard to break.  There’s nothing to say the woman can’t propose – but when all is said and done it might just be easier to use your charms to get him to do the asking!    
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Any other questions?

The team here at Clevedon Hall are pretty experienced in all things wedding and very happy to share their knowledge, tips and thoughts – just pop us the question (well, not that question!).

 It’s traditional for wedding guests to give the bride and groom presents.  But what is the current etiquette surrounding this aspect of the occasion?  And what is the best way for the happy couple to organise this aspect of their big day?  In this post we share a few thoughts and tips that will hopefully make it easier for you and your guests to navigate what can potentially be a bit of a minefield – the do’s and don’ts of giving and receiving can get a little bewildering!
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A bit of history    

Wedding gifts originated from the notion of a bride price or dowry that was paid to the bride's family. It usually included land, animals, money, and other forms of historical wealth. The earliest record of such an arrangement was in 3,000 B.C.  

By the time of the Renaissance, some 4,500 years later, it became traditional for the bride to be presented with an ornate marriage chest. This would be filled with all the goods which she would then take to her new home.  This practice evolved into the ‘bottom drawer’ in which unmarried women would collect all the linens and things they would need to embark on married life.

As we approach the modern era it became customary for guests to give the bride anything they still lacked in the way of household essentials.  Things stepped up a gear in the early part of the last century.  In 1928 giant US retail store Macy’s introduced the idea of the wedding gift registry – and others were swift to follow suit.
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In those days most couples did not live together before tying the knot (heaven forbid!) and were fairly young.  That meant they lacked all those things, from pillow cases to saucepans and cutlery to tea cups, to ‘set up home’.  Times have changed and most couples have already got all those regular items well before he ‘makes an honest woman of her’ – so wedding registry list now lean towards luxury ‘nice to have’ stuff rather than the boring basics.
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Work out what you have already got  

Take some time with your partner and do a “stock check”.  Make a list of what both of you have already and want to keep.  Then make a list of what you still need and would like.  You might want to divide this second list into "everyday" and "formal" versions of dinnerware, glassware, table linens and serving items. It's also important to discuss general colour schemes or patterns before you go any further.
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Take your pick  

Picking a registry makes life easy for you and your guests.  There are so many to choose from that we aren’t going to list them here.  Just create one as soon as you get engaged.    

Having said that, one is not enough.  Ten, however, is too many.  Two to four registries give guests more choices, and it's a manageable number.  You might want to pick a couple of smaller registries you should also feature at least one big one like Amazon or John Lewis.    

Your choice should reflect your lifestyle, interests and tastes.  If you love camping and walking but have little interest in cooking and formal entertaining then you should register with an outdoor pursuits store rather than somewhere that offers upmarket cookware.  

Try to keep everyone happy  

The gifts are for you, so you’ll obviously want to list things that you and your partner would like (remember to do this together!).  Friends and family may make suggestions and they might have some good ones – but ultimately it’s about working out what you need and want, what is going to suit the kind of life and home you want to create together.

Having said that, register for a wide range of items.  That makes it easy for people to choose gifts within their means.  Some guests may have been intending on spending a relatively modest amount and you don’t want to embarrass them with a list where everything is crazy expensive.  Also include some traditional items for older relatives to choose and fun stuff for your mates to give you.
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Preparing the list

Don’t rush the list-making process – you may regret your choices if you are in too much of a hurry, or you might miss items that will be really useful but slip your mind.  Set aside plenty of time for searching, thinking and discussing.  

One tip is to start by signing up for essential items you really want – a new mattress, for instance.  Then, once these have been ticked off and the list is getting shorter, you can add more items.  That way you reduce the chances of getting a nice salad bowl but missing out on the wine glasses that you can’t do without!
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Make your registry list longer than your guest list.  Suppose a work colleague has left it to the last minute and the only thing left on the list costs £110 – you’ve really put them in an awkward spot!  With a long registry list you’ll have stuff left over but it’s a sure fire way to guarantee you’ll get most of what you want.
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How to let the guests know about your registry

You need to be a little bit discreet - coming straight out and asking your guests to buy you gifts is way too pushy!  Don’t include registry information on your wedding invitations – it’s more appropriate to let people know by word of mouth.  

Your registry information can also be listed on your engagement party and bridal shower invites.  That’s because the invitation doesn't come from you, but from the person hosting that event for on your behalf.  You can also share your registry information on your personalized wedding website.
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Is gift-giving obligatory?  

If you’re invited to the actual wedding ceremony then the answer is “yes” – no ifs, buts or exceptions.  Even if they said “no gifts” you give a gift!

If you’re invited to the evening reception, or a party after the actual ceremony has occurred, then it’s not obligatory - but many people do anyway.  

What if it’s a destination wedding – does the fact you’ve spent a shedload of money to be there count as a gift?  No.  However, you don’t have to be quite so generous.

If you are attending a second wedding, or a vows renewal, and you were at the original ceremony, you are not obliged to buy another gift.
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How much should guests spend?

This is a tricky one, with no hard and fast rules.  It rather depends on how close you are to the couple, how well off you and where the bar is being set by other guests.  Too little and you look tight, too much and you might appear OTT (and break the bank!).  If you read the research that has been conducted the average people spend is somewhere between £40 and £60.
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Honeymoon funds

Some couples suggest that instead of buying tangible stuff, like a coffeemaker or a personalised cheese board, guest put money towards the honeymoon.  This can be a great idea for couples who have been living together for a while and already have most of what they need in the way of household items.  

You might want to help people by itemising stuff associated with the honeymoon.  Depending on their means guests could buy you a pair of cocktails, treat you to a dinner, contribute to the flights, cover the car hire or shell out for scuba diving lessons.  
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Thank You cards

The happy couple should send these out within three months of the wedding – but certainly leave it no longer than six months.  It’s not only polite to do this but many guests will have had the gift sent direct from the provider so if you don’t thank them they’ll worry that you never got it in the first place!
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Anything else?

We hope you find this quick guide helpful.  It could be longer as there are a few aspects we’ve not covered.  Rather than try and answer every conceivable question here we suggest you give us a call if there’s something you’re still not sure about – the team here have a lot of experience they are more than happy to share.

Are you a groom that’s getting all hot under the collar about the speech you’ll have to give at the wedding breakfast?  Or are you a bride to be who’s nervous that your fiancé might make a mess of it?  Fear not – here are some quick tips to make sure everything goes swimmingly!  
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How to kick it off

The groom’s speech traditionally comes directly after the father of the bride’s speech – so an easy way to start is by complimenting him on his efforts.  
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Once you’ve done that don’t launch into a long and formal introduction to your speech.  In the next couple of lines try to get everyone laughing.  A great groom speech should, amongst other things, be entertaining and fun – and you want to set this tone as early as possible.  Get a few laughs early on and everyone will relax – including you!
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Don’t forget the main point

The groom’s speech is an opportunity to acknowledge what a big occasion this and to thank all those people who have played an important role in getting you to this point in your life.  It’s also an opportunity to talk about the person you have been lucky enough to marry and to pay your respects to her family and friends.  
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Jokes – do’s and don’ts

Your speech is a bit of a balancing act.  You have to do some important formal things, like thanking a number of key people and acknowledging the serious side of the occasion.  But you also have to amuse and entertain.

When telling jokes, or amusing stories, make sure they are appropriate – it’s not clever to embarrass anyone.  Also, if you try too hard to be funny this can backfire.  Amusing stories about how you met your wife, or funny things that happened to you before you met her, probably go down well (but don’t make them too long).  

It’s also good to throw in little asides that are timely and personal (but not too personal).  For instance, you could remark that your wife’s (yes, remember to refer to her as your wife – you are married now!) ‘prosecco posse’ have already started chatting up the bar staff and the fact that your mates look much better in suits than tight Lycra cycling gear.

Whilst your speech is not a chance to launch into a full stand-up comedy routine you should also beware of making it a dry and boring list of thank-yous.  Mix it up so there’s a balance of humour and sincere stuff.  
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Giving thanks

As already mentioned it’s the grooms job to thank the group and then pick out particular individuals or couples.  You should thank everyone for coming and helping to make it such a special day.  You should also thank your parents and the bride’s parents.  Next on the list is your best man and the ushers, along with the maid of honour and the bridesmaids.  
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Although you don’t want to make the number of thank-yous so long that you name-check half the guest list you must make sure you don’t miss anyone who has made a special contribution.  If your auntie has made a fantastic cake, uncle Derek has lent his vintage Bentley as the Bridal car or your new sister-in-law did the flowers then you need to acknowledge them.

When thanking parents and parents-in-law be sure to give them equal mention.  Some grooms fall into the trap of waxing lyrical about the latter for a full minute whilst giving their own parents just one sentence
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Don’t forget your wife(!)

Whilst making everyone laugh, and making sure you thank all the right people, you must not forget the most important person in your life – your new wife.  If you don’t make sufficient efforts in this direction you are inviting a heap of trouble.  Your wife, to say nothing of her family and friends, expect you to heap praise on her big time.  It’s a once-in-a lifetime opportunity to pile up a heap of brownie points…so don’t waste it!
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Having said that, don’t just settle for a string of clichés.  As well as complimenting her on how beautiful she looks on this most special of days you need to think hard about what makes her unique and all those quirky little things you particularly love about her.  She, and all those who also love her, are keenly watching and listening to check how well you understand her and appreciate what makes her so special.  Make it sincere, not cheesy!

Your objective is to make your new wife the star of the show so it’s best to get all the other stuff, the jokes, the stories and the thank-yous out of the way first then concentrate solely on your beloved and how much she means to you.
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It’s traditional that the groom’s speech ends with a toast to the bridesmaids and a nod to the best man.  However, this is maybe not the best idea.  Some advise that you toast the bridesmaids earlier, as you thank them, and then keep your final words for singing the praises of your wife.

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Don’t go on for too long

About eight minutes is the perfect length for a groom’s speech.  Any shorter and it may look like you have not taken it seriously enough.  Any longer and the guests’ attention will begin to wander.  That means eight minutes of actual talking with a couple of minutes for laughter, applause and heckles.

You also need to be aware that yours is not the only speech – you don’t want to come across as someone who likes the spotlight too much.  Don’t get too bogged down in detail (because half the audience won’t be following that closely anyway).  Recounting how you know each of the ushers individually, with a story too match, is “too much information”.  A word count of about 1,350 is about right.
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Coping with nerves

If you plan and prepare properly, and you are sure you have a great speech that ticks all the right boxes, then nerves should be less of an issue.  It’s important to practice and a good tip is to film yourself using your phone.  You can then see which aspects of your material, and your delivery, could use a bit more work or need tweaking.

Another tip is start with a big smile and a deep breath (and remember to keep taking big breaths and reminding yourself to keep that smile in place).
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The worst thing you can do is to go light on preparation and try to wing it – you’ll almost certainly crash and burn.  Dutch Courage (ie a hefty drink, or two) is also not the best advice.   Half a glass of bubbly might help but anything more is likely to do more harm than good.  You need a clear head, a good script and plenty of practice – not one too many glasses of wine and beer!
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You’ll be great – and we’re here to help

We hope you find these tips helpful and if there is any other aspect of your big day you are unsure about just give us a call.  The team here have organised a lot of wonderful weddings and we’re only too happy to share their experience, advice and inspiration.  Ask away!

 There has been a flurry of news stories recently about the fact that mixed-sex couples can now enter into a civil partnership rather than get married.  If you are confused about the difference between the two read on – this post will make it clear.  But that’s not all.  We also take a look at some of the more weird and wonderful ways that people tie the knot around the world.  
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What is a civil partnership?  

A civil partnership is a legally recognised arrangement between two people that provides many of the same benefits as a conventional marriage.  They enjoy the same rights as married couples in terms of tax benefits, pensions and inheritance.
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However, unlike a conventional marriage, there is no ceremony.  The process does not involve an exchange of vows or the singing of hymns.  It also takes place in front a registrar as opposed to a recognised religious leader, such as a vicar or a rabbi. Instead, the union is simply valid after both parties sign the civil partnership document.  This makes a civil partnership a desirable option for those who want to legally recognise their relationship but don’t align themselves with a particular religion, or who object to the fact that a traditional marriage is perceived as being steeped in patriarchal tradition, in which women are “given away” by their fathers and promise to “obey” their husbands.

In 2004 it became legal for same sex couples to enter into a civil partnership.  Ten years later same-sex couples were allowed to marry.  Since then many mixed-sex couples have been complained at the inequality of the situation – they also wanted to have the choice between a wedding and a civil partnership.  Their wish has finally been granted and a number of mixed-sex couples entered into civil partnerships in the last couple of days before the end of 2019.  It is estimated that around 84,000 mixed-sex couples could form civil partnerships in 2020.
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What, no reception?!

There’s nothing to say that those who enter into a civil partnership can’t have a party.  However, the whole point of this arrangement is to avoid any ceremony, and to keep things low-key – so the early indications are that those who go this “alternative” route will probably keep any celebrations relatively modest.  

One couple who were interviews in the Camden New Journal said “we are thinking of going to a local greasy spoon afterwards, maybe with some champagne.”  Another explained that “It’s doing something simply, without a fanfare. It’s a significant moment but at the same time it’s not something that requires opulence and materialism. We will eventually celebrate with a few friends on New Year’s Eve.”While there are many couples who will prefer this approach most will still see tying the knot as a great opportunity to celebrate their love in a very public way and then throw a terrific party.  That’s certainly the way most people, all around the world, and for thousands of years, have treated it.  And they have come up with some pretty inventive, dramatic and off-the-wall ways of making a big deal of the whole occasion.  There are too many to list here but we’ve just handpicked a few at random.
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 In China – see red and shoot the bride

China has more than its fair share of unusual (well, they seem unusual to us…) traditions.  It’s a big country, with a lot of ethnic and regional diversity, but these are some of the rituals you might come across.
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In Chinese culture, red symbolizes happiness, prosperity and good luck.  It is therefore Chinese tradition for the bride to wear a red dress, called a qipao and to cover her face with a red veil on the wedding day.  The typical Chinese wedding invitation is red, placed in a red envelope, and usually has gold, vertical wording read from right to left with the groom’s information presented first before the bride’s.
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Guests give red envelopes, called hóngbā, instead of gifts – but you stuff it with money.  The amount should cover your expenses at the wedding plus sufficient for a gift.  The closer your relationship to the couple the bigger the amount you gift.  In Chinese tradition, some numbers are considered luckier than others – a fact you must bear in mind.  Eight or nine are lucky, for is not.  So $88 is thought to bring good fortune.
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One strange tradition originates you sometimes see at a Chinese wedding originates from the Uyghur people of Xinjiang province on the country’s most western borders, The groom shoots his bride using a bow and three (blunt!) arrows.  He then collects the arrows and breaks them during the ceremony, to ensure their love lasts forever.
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Sawing logs and cleaning up?  I do!

In Germany, as we all know, efficiency is highly prized – and this is reflected in a couple of their wedding traditions.  Some newlyweds have their compatibility put to the test after the ceremony by being presented with a log – which they then to saw in half while their guests give advice and encouragement. The act is intended to showcase the bride and groom's ability to work together and face the obstacles that may come throughout their marriage.
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 Another tradition involves smashing crockery.  This is known as “Polterabend” and   on the night before the wedding the guests break porcelain to bring luck to the couple's marriage.  This usually takes place in front of the house occupied by the parents of the bride.  Custom dictates that the more shards of broken pottery, the better the luck that couple will have in their married life. After the craziness comes to an end, the couple cleans up the mess to show they can work well together.
   

Oops, the bride has been kidnapped!

In Romania they have some fun and games before the wedding by playing an abduction game.  The bride is kidnapped by friends, family, or hired entertainers, and the groom must come to her rescue and pay her ransom through drinks, money, or romantic gestures.
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This tradition is actually quite common across Europe, with versions in Russia, Germany and Wales.  In the Welsh version the best man takes the bride to the pub before the wedding, and the groom-to-be must find them and pick up the tab. Or the bride’s family run off with her just before the ceremony.  The groom and his family would set off in hot pursuit and, obviously, rescue the bride. One version of this custom declared that whoever actually freed the bride would themselves be married within the year.

A few more traditions from around the world

At a Guatemalan wedding reception, the mother of the groom breaks a white bell to welcome the newlyweds to the party. The bell, filled with flour, rice, and grains, is meant to bring luck and prosperity.

In Poland guests are invited to buy dances with the bride at the reception. Her maid of honour collects the cash and it all goes towards the couple's honeymoon.
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 In a traditional Indian wedding, the bride's sisters steal the groom’s shoes once he enters the wedding tent. The groom must then bribe the sisters to return them.

In some parts of Scotland they still practice “blackening”.  On the day before the wedding the unfortunate bride and groom are plied with alcohol then covered in soot, treacle, flour and feathers.  They are then paraded around the neighbourhood in a cart or pickup truck.  This was supposed to ward off evil spirits before a marriage.  
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Fun and games – we’re up for it

Whatever kind of ceremony and celebration you have planned we’d be delighted to host your big day.  We’ve very flexible and accommodating so even if you have some fairly off-the-wall ideas we should be able to make the occasion a wonderful one!

If you are tying the knot this year then you are definitely in for a few months of full-on planning, preparation and partying.  It’s going to be exciting and fun – but not always plain sailing.  Inevitably there will also be a few awkward conversations and difficult decisions that are going to test your relationship – so you need to work on building a strong one.  That, after all, is why you are getting married in the first place!  

In this post we share a few ideas for New Year resolutions that will help to keep the romance alive and your relationship in great shape as you ride the emotional rollercoaster up to the wedding and into the first months of married life.  But don’t worry – they are the kind of resolutions you’ll enjoy!
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Make sure you plan a regular Date Night

You are going to be super busy for the next few months with sorting things like dresses, cakes, flowers, catering, stag/hen dos, invites…the list is almost endless.  Come the evening it’s tempting to just crash out in front of the TV with a ready meal and a bottle of wine.  There’s nothing wrong with that – except you can find yourself stuck in a repetitive rut before you know it!  
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You need to schedule some time, every week, to get up off the couch and go out for a meal, see a film, try a new bar, take salsa classes, go for a couples spa experience, visit a comedy club, book a romantic weekend away, enrol on a cookery class, go to a match…anything so long as you do it together and it breaks your routine.

We suggest you get the calendar, block out some time every week (or at least every fortnight) and then fill them in with ideas that for activities, events and treats that will make it easy for you to reconnect after a few days when you’ve been too busy to see much of each other.
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Put down your phone  

Smartphones are great for keeping in touch with what’s going on and the people in your life.  But they can also, paradoxically, have the opposite effect.  We’ve all seen couple who are glued to their screens even when they’re together – and that’s not smart.  You are just sending a signal to your partner that your focus is not on them and that there are other places you’d rather be or other people you’d prefer to spend time with.    
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The topic of mindfulness has become a hot one precisely because people have become so bad at it.  Mindfulness just means “being in the room and consciously paying attention to what’s going on around you in the here and now”.  Switching off your phone (and getting your partner to do the same!) is an essential first step.  It’s certainly a good idea when you are on a date night but why not try and do it more often whenever the two of you are together?  If you stick to this resolution you’ll be amazed at how much closer the two of you become!  
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Make the effort to pay your partner more compliments

If you want a healthy and happy relationship it’s really important that you appreciate each other – and show it.  Paying your fiancé a compliment doesn’t actually cost anything but it has a terrific positive impact – it’s a great example of the old adage that the best things in life are free!

The compliment can be about something quite small – anything from how much you like their outfit to the way they’ve just handled a situation.  Even small compliments have a big effect because they show you appreciation and remind your partner that you value them.  

You’ll also find that saying something nice to your other half is usually reciprocated.  So if you want them to say nice things to you start by saying something nice about them – but just make it genuine and sincere!
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Support your partner’s New Year’s resolutions  

As well as a few “couple’s resolutions” each of you will be setting individual goals.  It’s important to respect your partner’s resolutions and support them.  If your partner has a goal to lose weight it’s not helpful to keep suggesting take-aways or loading the supermarket trolly with cakes, crisps and chocolate!  Likewise, if your partner’s goals require some “me time” then you need to give them that space.  Which brings us to the next resolution…
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Make room for “me time”  

A new poll conducted in December 2019 amongst 2000 couples in the US revealed that the majority felt ‘me-time’ is actually even more important than date nights for a healthy relationship.  According to the results, the ideal amount of ‘me-time’ is 51 minutes per day — or about six hours per week.  

This makes a lot of sense because once in a relationship we tend to put the needs of others first.  Whilst this is important there’s a danger we won’t pay sufficient attention to our own needs, which is bound to have an adverse effect on our state of mind…and if one person in a relationship is unhappy that tends to spoil things for both of you.
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So, you both need to make time to do something just for yourselves.  It could be reading a book, a fitness class or trying out the latest recipes from Bake-off – just do it and let your partner do the same.  If he wants to go to the match with his mates and you’d rather spend that time shopping with a girlfriend then that’s great!
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Manage your money

This may not sound the most exciting thing in the world but one of the biggest sources of stress and arguments in a relationship tends to be money (or shortage of!).  This can be especially awkward for those who are adjusting to the realities of sharing their lives and their finances, not made easier by the fact that planning a wedding is expensive and involves lots of money decisions.  
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Make a resolution to get on top of things.  Part of this is about making a list of your regular joint outgoings then comparing this to your joint incomes.  You’ll also want to add in a budget for your wedding and work out how you are going to manage it all. Having a clear idea of your situation is a lot less stressful than sticking your head in the sand then landing yourselves with some unpleasant surprises.  What you ideally want is a clear picture and a plan that enables you to start saving for some things you’d really like – then the finances become exciting and actually bring you closer together.  
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Set some long term goals

Following on from the last point, setting a few long term goals is a great idea.  It could be that you decide to work towards a dream home, visit a particular country or start your own business together.  Whatever it is this will give you a sense of purpose, something to aim, that brings you together for years to come.  
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We’d love to hear from you in 2020

Setting New Year resolutions is personal – so beyond sharing these ideas we can’t really give you any more help.  When it comes to the planning your wedding part, however, the team at Clevedon Hall has a wealth of experience.  Whatever questions you may have, or dilemmas you find yourself facing, our expert advice will prove invaluable – so get in touch!

This beautiful same sex wedding this September creating an amazing experience for their guests even including a cabaret in the evening. The day was captured by Brad Wakefield. ‍

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There was a time, not so long ago, when only the most geeky would create a personal website for their wedding.  Today it’s probably the norm for couples preparing to tie the knot.  

So do you have to add this to your already dauntingly long “to do” list?  No, it’s not obligatory.  And yes, it will take a bit of effort to set up and manage.  But you won’t regret it.  

On the one hand it’ll provide an easily accessible hub for all the important information and save you having to answer the same questions repeatedly; “When’s the wedding?” “Where should I stay?” “Where are you registered for your gifts?” “Can I bring the kids?”.  On the other it is a great way to share the love, help everyone get more engaged with the preparations, make the event itself more magical and capture all the wonderful memories.
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But I’m not a web designer!

No problem.  Companies like Wix and Squarespace have created super successful businesses by making the whole process simple enough for the most digitally challenged.  They offer a huge variety of templates, advice and support that makes it possible for the complete novice to put together a website that looks totally professional and utterly gorgeous.  

In this post we focus on what content you need – the must-have stuff you should include plus some ideas on nice-to-have stuff as well.
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Remember the main reason for the website

It’s easy to get so wrapped up in choosing everything from the food and wine to the dress and the cake, deciding on a photographer and booking a venue, designing the stationery and finalising the guest list, that you lose sight of what information your guests really need to know.  Because that’s the primary purpose of your wedding website – to communicate important practical stuff that everyone needs to know.  You don’t want to be remembered as the bride who sent out her Save the Date note but forgot to give anyone the location!  Or the one who shared a thousand words on the true meaning of love but forgot to share the details of her gift registry!
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What’s the essential need-to-know stuff?

Make sure you clearly cover these points:

·         How to get to the ceremony and the reception – easy to follow directions

·         A schedule for the day so everyone knows when to turn up and how much time is allocated to the different stages of your big day

·         Details of the gift registry you have set up and a list of items you’d like
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·         A rough idea of what to wear – is it going to be super formal, smart casual, boho, rustic…share the theme so people know what to expect

·         Details about the food, including menu choices and how people should place their orders

·         Whether it’s a cash bar or not

·         Information about accommodation and whether you have made a hotel block reservation

·         Any other transport information – parking, taxis, is there a shuttle bus between the ceremony and the reception venue?

Once you covered all of this practical information in sufficient detail you can get onto the more fun and romantic stuff.
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Tell Your Story

You will be asked, time and again, “how did you meet?”   To begin with you’ll probably love recounting the tale in full but you may get to a point where you’d rather give them a shortened version and direct them to your website for the longer one.  So it’s a good idea to have an “our story” page where you can gush to your heart’s content!  Actually it’s two stories that become one, so you might want to each tell your own side of the story separately then bring them together at the end.

Of course some people will already know your story.  But they won’t know all of it.  And there will be guests, from your other half’s family, who won’t know you at all.  Likewise your family and friends won’t know much about your intended.  Then there will be partners and “plus-ones” who know nothing about either of you.  So the “our story” page is pretty important – it really helps people feel welcome and a part of the celebration.
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Include an FAQ page

This will save you wasting time answering repeat questions that keep filling up your inbox.  

For example, “Do I have to RSVP by post or can I RSVP online?”, “Have you reserved any hotel rooms for guests?” and “What time is the reception scheduled to end?”

You can also answer questions in a more direct way than if you were replying to someone personally.  For example, “Can I bring a plus one?”  Answer: “We wish we could give everyone a plus one, but our venue has a strict limit on numbers. So if the person you’d like to bring with you is named on your invitation, yes! If not, we promise to introduce you to lots of people who will help you have a great time.”
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An RSVP page

Traditional RSVP cards are a lot of work - from buying and designing the cards to paying for postage, dealing with guests who lost theirs and then keeping track of replies.  

In our previous post we recommended some companies that will help you handle the RSVPs online, either through a page of your website or through their platform.  Both Wix and Squarespace also have readymade RSVP pages you can use.  Doing it all digitally is a lot easier than the old way!
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A directions page

Rather than just give people the address of the venue for the ceremony and the reception (and hope that’s enough information) it’s good to have a dedicated directions page that includes maps and any other helpful stuff that they’ll find useful.  You don’t want to be answering your phone or replying to texts just before you walk down the aisle, or when you are busy talking to guests at the drinks reception!  

You also want to avoid people arriving late, flustered and annoyed because they got lost (and had a row!).  Even worse (see our previous post) you want to make sure everyone why RSVPs actually turns up – if they are not feeling well, or have a last minute situation to cope with, a good set of directions and a map will encourage them to make the effort and not let you down.
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A registry section for your gifts

You have to be a bit discreet on the subject of the gifts you’d like – too pushy and you might offend.  You might want to include a registry flyer with the invitation (even if granny doesn’t approve!).  The best place to do this (without raising eyebrows) is on your website.  Both Wix and Squarespace make it easy to include buttons that direct guests to your gift registries so that they can buy you the perfect presents for your big day.  You can also add a PayPal button for cash gifts.
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Share your future plans

This is a nice touch (but optional rather than obligatory).  You might be moving to a new house, city or job.  You could share details of where you are going on honeymoon (provided it’s not going to be a surprise for the bride!).  It could also be a way to help guests pick presents off your registry – if you plan to redesign the garden this will explain why you’ve put a gas-fired barbecue on your list.  
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Recommend accommodation

Most guests are going to want overnight accommodation so you’ll be getting a lot of people asking “Where should I stay?” or “Is this place close enough?”  Help them out by having a where to stay page where you list any hotel or B&B accommodation you feel is suitable.  If you have block booked some rooms you obviously need to put this information here.  
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Create a photo gallery

This is a great place to show photos that complement your story, possibly with a timeline.  You can include everything from selfies straight after the proposal, shots from your engagement party, photos of the venue you’ve chosen, even photos from your childhood – this is a great opportunity to get creative!  After the big day you can also add any shots, official or not, to capture the best memories.
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Wedding hashtags

If you are big on all things social media and want to show off your wedding festivities, put your wedding hashtag prominently on your website. That, plus signage at your wedding, will significantly increase your chances that your guests actually use it (and spell it correctly!) when posting photos.  However, if you’d rather have an unplugged wedding (you ask everyone guest to turn off their phones, ipads, cameras and other digital distractions during the ceremony or reception) then you can also make this clear on your website.
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Other things you might like to consider

How about adding a weather widget for the location of your wedding so your guests have up-to-the minute details?  Another suggestion is to create a page that’s password protected for the bridal party – here you can post private information only they should see.  A custom song request form is a cool idea too, so your guests can boogie the night away to their favourites!  Some thoughtful couples create a supplier page to thank all the professionals who are making your day so special.
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Anything else you want to know?

Hopefully this post will help you create a wedding website that helps to make your big day an even greater success.  If you have any other questions on this topic, or anything else related to weddings, just give us a call – the team at Clevedon Hall are only too happy to share their experience and offer their advice.

Your wedding day is not called a “big day” for nothing – apart from being emotionally huge the sheer amount of planning, work and expense it involves makes the other major events in your life appear modest by comparison.  Inviting someone to attend the ceremony, the reception or both, is also a big deal – you’d expect them to be excited, flattered and honoured.  So it’s a bit disappointing when they don’t RSVP.  And shocking when they do accept…then either make a lame last-minute excuse or simply fail to turn up at all.  In this post we share some thoughts about how best to handle these situations.  
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Invitation tips

Don’t get so carried away with your theme, colours and design that the essential details “get lost in the mix”!  Traditionally, whoever is hosting is listed first on the invitation (that’s probably both sets of parents) followed by something along the lines of “invite you to celebrate the marriage of (insert your Christian names).  Then make sure you include the location of the wedding, the date and time, all relevant reception information, dress code and the RSVP details.

Don’t cram the card with too much information or decoration – less looks more elegant and means the most important stuff isn’t buried.  Things like directions to your wedding venue and reception can go on a separate enclosure and on your wedding website.

Send your save-the-dates notes eight to ten months before the wedding.  The invites themselves should go out around four to five months before the big day.  However, if the wedding and reception are happening abroad you’ll need to send the invites earlier as people will have to do more in the way getting themselves organised.

Include your RSVP information on the bottom right corner of your invitation or on a separate enclosure and make the deadline for replying no more than three or four weeks after guests receive the invitations.  The more time you give guests to reply, the more likely they are to forget!
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RSVP cards

In days gone by people would reply with a card or letter, either to accept or send their apologies.  If you prefer this traditional approach you can include an RSVP card that people can then return.  The card should include the following:

·         A blank line for the guests to fill out their names. Your guest will use this space to write in their name as well as the name(s) of a spouse, a date, or children who will also be attending the wedding. You will be relying on this information to create your final guest list and create table place cards.

·         The RSVP reply due date. Use a date three to four weeks before the wedding date.

·         The “will attend” line. Short and simple, this phrase can say anything along the lines of “Yes, I will attend your wedding.” These are the final people you add to your guest list.

·         The “unable to attend” line. Although disappointing, use this information to cut down your guest list and reduce your wedding expenses. (Blessing in disguise?)

·         Meal choices (so get your catering and menu sorted before you sent the invitations!)
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A more modern way to manage RSVPs

In today’s digital world you could ask people to reply by email and put everything on a spreadsheet but a lot of couples these days use a dedicated website – this makes it much easier to keep track of things for minimal effort.  

Here are some options you could check out:

RSVPify

It’s free and has all the features you need.   You can even embed their RSVP tool in your own personal wedding website.  You can also use RSVPify to invite and manage secondary events like a rehearsal dinner or bridal shower.

Appy Couple

This is an app that works for mobile devices in addition to the desktop website. Guests can download and use it for free.  The couple getting married have pay a one-time fee of £45 for a basic membership and a one-time fee of £145 for their luxury collection which gives you access to a few extra designs.  The big difference with this site is that you can add YouTube videos to your page.  There is also an instant messenger platform that can connect you with other users and guests.

AnRSVP

This is another free service but you can pay for additional features if you wish.  It gives you the option to add additional questions rather than the most basic ones – not just meal choices but what’s their favourite song or their accommodation selection.

Free RSVP

As the name suggests, it’s free.  Unlike many other free RSVP trackers you don’t need to provide any personal information when registering and you can create an unlimited guest list. You can send an invitation by e-mail and track the responses through the regular updates the site sends you.
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No RSVP?

If someone doesn’t respond you need to check - it's always possible that an invitation or reply card got lost in the post…or maybe they just have a lot going on in their life and simply let the small matter of a reply slip.  Some guests, especially younger ones, don't understand the importance of an RSVP.  Maybe their work schedule is irregular or they have a problem with transport.  

Either give them a call yourself, or perhaps ask the mother of the bride or maid of honour, to tactfully enquire whether their RSVP has been mislaid.
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What to do if someone is a no show?

It’s hard to believe that someone will RSVP to say they’ll attend then not attend – it does happen!  Sometimes people who fully intended to be there hit a last-minute problem and have the courtesy to tell you.  But it’s not uncommon to have a few guests who don’t turn up and don’t let you know either!.  This is incredibly upsetting and rude, made worse by the fact you’ve paid out for their dinner, drinks and the like.  

You can find stories online of brides who have billed guests who failed to show up.  These have triggered much debate on whether sending an invoice is an acceptable response – some think it equally rude to ask for the money but others have said such a response is entirely justified.  
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How many no shows can you expect?

Reading what brides have posted online it’s hard to come up with an average.  Some of the worst stories are from the states, where guests have to travel greater distances.

“My friend told me she had about 70 people rsvp yes, only to have 52 show up. That's a 25% no show rate!”

“We had 187 people RSVP yes and had 4 no shows.  We also had 2 wedding crashers and I'm sure they drank enough booze to make up for a few of the no shows.”

“We had 129 people confirm. We decided to pay for 130 just in case we needed a last minute seat. 24 freaking people decided to not show up and didn’t even bother to call or text to say anything.  UGH.”

This last one, however, is from London.

“8 out of 60 people just didn't turn up, which cost us a lot as each place cost approx £200!”
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It’s worse in Mexico!

Mexicans go in for big weddings.  At middle-class nuptials a guest list of 500 is not unusual.  But on the day the average no-show or late cancellation rate can be as high as 40%!  Partly that’s because, with such huge guest lists that many people get around two dozen invitations a year.  But culture also plays a part. Research suggests that while American guests like to break the bad news promptly, Mexicans tend to accept then make an excuse with a few hours to go, or just fail to show up.  Popular excuses are car crashes or nannies who let them down.  One bride’s best friend cancelled on the morning with a “new circumstances” message.
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This post from weddingwire.com paints the following picture of the typical Mexican wedding:

“Basically you can expect 20% of your guests to show up to your ceremony at church, there's no cocktail hour, then your guests trickle in over the next couple of hours and your caterer serves them dinner as they arrive. No one RSVPs and even worse, they'll bring a plus one or a couple friends because it's so casual like that...”
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More questions?  Just ask!

Hopefully this post gives you some ideas about how to handle the invites, RSVPs and no shows.  However, every wedding is different, so if you’d like to discuss the planning of yours just get in touch.  The team here have a wealth of experience they’re only too happy to share.