Trends, Tips, & Ideas For Your Next Big Event

Planning a wedding seldom goes entirely smoothly.  No matter how well prepared you are there’s bound to be a situation (or two!) that gives you a serious dilemma.  In this post we cover some of the most common issues that can throw a spanner in the works and put you in a bit of a tight spot.
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I want it to be perfect – but it’s not!

This is a dilemma all brides struggle with.  On the one hand you want everything to be just right.  But on the other there comes a point where you realise that it’s probably best to “let it go”.  Your pink gown clashes with the orange aisle carpet in the church.  Your heart is set on a cake that’s ridiculously expensive.  Or the flower arrangements and table settings are not exactly as you’d imagined.  Do you get bent out of shape and go to ridiculous lengths sorting everything to your satisfaction?  Or do you get over it and refuse to let it spoil your big day?
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The fact is that lot of issues are only in your own head.  Nobody else is even going to notice!  Stop obsessing over perfect – that kind of attitude just sets you up from stress, arguments and disappointment.  
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How do we raise the issue of money?

Most couples struggle to talk through money issues with parents – but weddings make those discussions inevitable.  Best advice is to raise the subject sooner rather than later.   Ask if they are willing to help out.  If the answer is “yes” then clarify which part of the wedding they would like to contribute to.  Then make it clear that their contribution, however big or small, is greatly appreciated.
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Ooops, I’m pregnant!

It happens…  Apart from the dilemma about whether to share the happy news before the big day there’s the issue of the dress.  One option is to get a bespoke design to accommodate your bump.  If that’s too expensive then go for something off the peg that’s loose and floaty.  
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There are even some companies, like Tiffanyrose.com that specialise in affordable pregnancy gowns for the bride, her maids and guests. Pregnancy specialists Seraphine.com also have full-length lace styles and a large collection of occasion wear for anyone wanting to embrace colour.  Bridal designers Alice Temperley and Jenny Packham both have loose empire line dresses in light fabrics that will move with you and your bump.
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My dad isn’t here to walk me up the aisle – how do I handle that one?

What you really want to do is remember and honour him.  You’ll obviously have to get someone else to give you away.  You could walk down the aisle with your partner, a sister or with your bridesmaids.

However, you also want to remember and honour your father.  One option is place a beautiful bouquet of flowers where your father would have sat.   There’s a story of a bride who had her bouquet secured by her father’s wristwatch.  Another had one of her father’s Saville Row suits tailored to fit her.  You might also choose to remember him in your choice of readings or in the speeches.
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Everyone wants to come dress shopping…

This is a not uncommon situation – but one that needs handling carefully.  Best advice is to only take someone whose views you trust or who you know will have your best interests at heart.  

Your partner’s view counts as little, or as much, as you want – it’s up to you.  Some brides will discuss this matter, and different designs, at length with their fiancé.  But others don’t involve them at all – the dress is a total surprise to them.

Another tip – don’t let your uber-fashionable friend sway you one way or the other.  When buying any other dress the latest trends are important.  But your wedding dress needs to flatter you, it must be comfortable, it must photograph well and it needs to make you feel a hundred times yourself.  Forget being on-trend and concentrate on what works best for you.
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Does my fiancé’s sister have to be a bridesmaid?

It’s up to you.  There are plenty of other roles you could ask her to play.  The main thing is make sure she feels appreciated and included.  Maybe she’s a keen bake-off follower and would love to create your cake?  Perhaps she has an artistic streak and would love to help with the décor, the website design or the invites and stationery?  Or how about performing a reading at your ceremony?   The main thing is to keep her happy and on-side – therwise she’ll be bending the groom’s ear (or, worse still, the mother-in-laws).
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The parents are hijacking the guest list!

It’s your day… but you need be sensitive to the fact that proud and happy parents want to share the occasion with their friends.  Bearing this in mind try to get a good balance of guests from both sides of the family as well as your own closest friends.  Agree a total number and then allocate a certain number of invites to yourselves and your parents.
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Why can’t I find suppliers who share my vision?

You have a clear picture in your head of what you want.  But you can’t expect others to read your mind.  Whether you are briefing a hairdresser, a florist, a dress designer or a cake maker, try to show them images.  That way your ideas won’t be lost in translation.  Visit websites, cut photos out of wedding mags, download examples from pinterest.  You can even combine them on mood boards.  
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My Mum/Mother-in-law has decided she’s my wedding planner!

It’s a tricky one.  You’d like her involved – but don’t want her to totally take over what is supposed to be your big day.  On the other hand you don’t want to have a massive bust up.  One way to tackle this ids to give her one meaty task you know she’ll love. It needs to be something time consuming to keep her occupied.  Perhaps you could get her growing all the herbs for your guests’ favours?  Or compiling a list of all local hotels and B&Bs that she can personally recommend?   Perhaps interviewing a range of potential caterers and presenting you with a shortlist of her top three suggestions.  If she’s super keen get her to tackle all three!
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How do limit the number of plus-ones?

The simplest solution is to ditch them altogether.  When you send the invitations explain that your wedding will be an intimate celebration, allowing you to spend quality time with each guest, and for this reason you are only extending your invitations to partners you know really well.
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How do I tell friends they are evening-only?

As with the plus-ones dilemma above let your invitations do the work.  Make attendance times clear and give details of the fabulous party they have been invited to.  You could also include a note letting them know what other mutual friends will be coming to the party – this reassures people that they won’t be walking into a gathering of total strangers.
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Don’t be afraid to ask…

These are just a few of the common dilemmas that tend to come up when planning a wedding – but there are plenty more.  Should you make the day child-free, is it OK to invite an ex, how should you handle a situation where you feel your partner is not doing their bit?  We don’t have space here to cover every possible situation and question.  But if you want some extra advice and help just give our team a call – they have bags of experience and can almost certainly help you work it out in a way that makes everyone happy.

At the risk of sounding unromantic we have to acknowledge that marriage and money go together.  The average total cost of a wedding in 2019, according to Hitched Magazine’s National Wedding survey, was £31,974.  That includes everything from the engagement ring (average cost £2,419) to the honeymoon (average cost £4,645) and everything in between (wedding dress £1,313, food £3,887…).  In the past the parents of the bride traditionally picked up the tab for most of this.  But times are changing and most couples find they are forking out a lot of it themselves.  This has led some of the more enterprising to look at innovative ways to spread the cost.  In this post we share a few stories that you might find illuminating, amusing or downright shocking.  We’re not suggesting you try any of these strategies – just bringing you up to speed with some rather unusual trends that are turning the traditional ways of doing things on their head!
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Get your guests to chip in

When Ben Farina proposed to Clare Moran a couple of years ago he knew she’d be worried about how they could possibly manage to tie the knot in style.  So he drew up what he described as a “business model”.  

This involved suggesting to the 60 guests that they might like to contribute up to £150 each to attend.  He put it to them that the event would be like an all-inclusive three-night holiday at a luxurious venue in Derbyshire.  The media was quick to pick up on the story and he got a bit of stick for being cheeky and tight.

The guests, however, were all happy enough to pay, with Ben’s parents also stumping up extra for a hog roast on the wedding day. Clare’s stepdad, who is a chef, also offered to cook a roast dinner for everybody the day after.
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Sell exclusive rights to your wedding photographs

If you are a celeb you can do a deal with a magazine.  This means you not only avoid stumping up for your own photographer (average cost £1,155) but you can also raise a bit of extra cash to cover some of the other expenses.  What kind of money are we talking about?

Rumour has it that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom banked $300,000 selling the exclusive rights to their wedding photos to OK! Magazine.

When Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz tied the knot in 2008, People magazine allegedly paid them a cool $1 million for their photos.

OK! beat out People magazine in a bidding war for the photos of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s wedding in 2007 to the tune of about $2 million.

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas are not a couple to do things by halves and agreed a $2 million fee with OK! for their wedding photos. But while they were approving images Hello! magazine scooped them with grainy paparazzi pics. OK! sued and won their $2 million back. But together, the two magazines spent $16 million in legal fees.

$2 million seems to be the current going rate.  It’s what People paid Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon for exclusive rights to their wedding pics.
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An indecent proposal

Some couples are turning marriage into a marketing opportunity, soliciting sponsorships from luxury brands even before the question has been popped.

In June 2019 Marissa Casey Fuchs, a fashion influencer known on Instagram as @fashionambitionist, reposted a video, from her boyfriend Gabriel Grossman, with her 160,000-plus followers. In the video he professed his love and told her he was about to whisk her away on “an extraordinary adventure.”  “What is happening?” she asked, all innocence.

Over the next 48 hours they went on a scavenger hunt, orchestrated by Grossman, that took her from New York City to the Hamptons, then to Miami, followed by Paris. Along the way she was showered with dresses, luggage, jewellery and beauty treatments from brands whose names were featured prominently in her posts.  
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She also shared posts from excited fans. “There’s a surprise engagement wedding (no one really knows right now) happening on @fashionambitionist Stories this Tuesday and I am completely invested in it!” reads one Instagram user @geneelizabeth908. People, Elite Daily, and the Daily Mail all covered the drama as it unfolded. “Gabriel Grossman’s Instagram Story Proposal to Marissa Fuchs Is What Viral Dreams Are Made Of,” gushes Elite Daily. “Is this the most extravagant proposal EVER?” wondered the Daily Mail.  Ms Fuchs gained more than 20,000 followers in just a few days as she shared her delight and surprise.

Some of those watching the progress of the dream proposal, however, knew it was all meticulously planned marketing exercise.  Grossman had approached a number of companies and pitched the whole thing as “a brand opportunity”, including an hour by hour itinerary detailing the hotels, the restaurants, the opening of gifts and the posting of social media updates. After a couple of days the true story began to emerge and Ms Fuchs expressed tearful astonishment.  When it became obvious that further dissembling would merely invite increased ridicule she finally admitted that her now fiancée and a social media strategist had arranged the whole thing.
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Monetise your marriage

Just about everyone shares their wedding day photos on Instagram, usually from a dreamy honeymoon destination.  But many are also posting exhaustively up until that point – everything from their hen weekend to dress fittings and cake sampling to ring choosing.  If you are a celebrity, however, it’s not #love you’re tagging but #sponsored.
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When fashion influencer Chiara Ferragni and rapper Fedez (a.k.a Federico Leonardo Lucia) decided to tie the knot they missed no sponsorship opportunity - starting with the #sponsored plane from Alitalia to transport guests to the wedding location in Noto, Italy.   The three custom Dior dresses Ferragni wore over the wedding weekend were almost certainly gifted by the brand, along with an outfit by Prada,  wedding bands by Pomellato and cosmetics by Lancôme.  

Another celebrity couple not shy about climbing aboard the sponsored wedding bandwagon - Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Nick Jonas. Their wedding celebrations, stretching over several days we’re captured in regular posts that included links to sponsoring brands.  One particularly romantic image she posted of the happy couple turned out to be a sponsored post for Amazon’s wedding gift registry business.
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With this logo I the wed

Even those without a big media following are starting to think about marriage as a marketing opportunity.  You don’t have to look far on the internet to find stories about couples (one of whom probably works in social media) willing to advertise brands in return for cash or freebies.  
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Some brands might turn their nose up at this kind of approach.  But others are actively seeking couples to partner with.  KFC Australia has announced plans to launch fried chicken themed weddings, offering six couples the chance to have their special day catered by KFC for free.

The winners will get a full-on KFC wedding with freshly cooked Kentucky Fried Chicken for 200 guests, KFC decorations, a KFC themed celebrant, and even a photobooth to capture all those special memories. The chicken will be served in the classic buckets from a food truck, so perhaps not the fancy sit-down dinner your mother in law was hoping for!
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For love or money?

We understand that dream weddings can be expensive.  You could go down the sponsorship route but we can’t help feeling that this rather destroys the romance.  Much better in our book to set a sensible budget then work out how best to make the most of it.  Our experienced team can help you create a spectacular event without turning your magical day into a marketing stunt.  Get in touch and let’s talk through what you have planned.

We’ve all seen stories of outrageous wedding proposals – just lately there’s been a craze in Russia for hiring scary looking security forces personnel to hold the couple up at gunpoint and then find a ring hidden about the boyfriend’s person or in the back of their car.  Such capers are amusing and entertaining.  But if you, or your partner, are thinking of popping the question any time soon…how does this current trend make you or your other half feel?  More scared, probably.  

You, or they, are nervous enough already without having to think up some amazingly off-the-wall, unexpected, cute, scary or romantic way to wow the other into a “yes”.  To say nothing of planning the whole thing and stage managing it without screwing up.  No (added) pressure then!

In this post we share some common sense advice about a few of the things you should bear in mind.  That doesn’t mean you can’t do something wildly unexpected or hugely dramatic – just that you should also give some consideration to the following.
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Make it meaningful

If ever there was a moment when romance and sentimentality are appropriate then this is it - which is why proposals that scare the other half to death are probably not such a great idea!

You’ll want to find a situation that puts you both in the mood for love – you could pick a particular restaurant, activity or destination that you are both especially fond of or that holds special memories.  Another option is to find some way of incorporating a favourite song, film or book into your proposal plan.  Creatively draw on these special details to, well, make a special day even more so.  
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Asking the future in-laws

This is a rather dated tradition but asking the parents’ permission before popping the question is something you should weigh up carefully.  It’s no longer generally considered essential but some families might prefer that you did them the courtesy.  However, if you’ve already been living together for years then it’s kind of academic.  Then there’s the situation where you know the parents don’t approve of you…but your intended loves you anyway.  So the advice on this on is “it all rather depends…”!
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The ring is the thing

It’s unthinkable to propose without a ring.  But what if she doesn’t like the one you have picked out?  And what could be more romantic than choosing the ring together?  With this in mind you might want to buy her a “placeholder” ring that does the job temporarily before you set out, hand in hand, to settle on the real thing.  For instance you could buy a less expensive zirconia ring before choosing the one set with a genuine diamond.
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Get the timing right

Try to avoid a picking a moment when your future spouse is likely to be stressed or tired.  It’s probably not a great idea to pop the question just as she walks in the door after her spinning class – right now she just wants a shower!  Over lunch and just before she has to make a big presentation is also less than smart.  In the middle of a chilled out weekend when you are both fully relaxed makes much more sense.
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Public or private?

Proposing in front of a crowd, at a major sporting event or with the help of a flashmob may make for a great movie and get a lot of views on youtube.  But remember what this is about – your love for this person and desire to spend the rest of your life with them, not about an ego trip and getting your 15 minutes of fame.  And at what point does true romance become unwanted coercion?

Unless you are absolutely certain your intended would love being thrust into the spotlight in this way keep the occasion private and intimate.  They obviously adore being alone with you so you can’t go far wrong keeping everyone else out of it.
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Resist the temptation to be trendy

Today’s hottest new popup restaurant that everyone is talking about may be the perfect option for popping the question.  But what if, a few years later, you want to revisit and celebrate your anniversary?  Looking back you may be glad you chose a historical monument, an outdoor location or a setting that remains largely unchanged.  That way it’s easier to recall the memory and feelings even when you’re old and grey.
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Have a convincing cover story

You can’t tell your intended the real reason you’ve made reservations at an expensive restaurant, booked a weekend away at a boutique hotel or invited them to meet you at the top of The Shard…so you’ll have to make up a plausible decoy story that’ll put them on the wrong track.  Then, ta-dah, surprise, surprise!  So, “we’re meeting X & Y for dinner”, “I know you are really into Thomas Hardy novels so I’m taking you to this charming hotel in Wessex” or “I’ve got to go to a drinks reception in The Shard and partners can come too.”  You get the idea!
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Keep a lid on it

The fewer people know what’s going on the less chance that somebody will blow the surprise.  If you have to inform or involve others don’t tell them any more than they need to know.  Then, when they’ve said “yes”, you can share the news together – if half of them know already then it’s not so much fun.
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Dress for the occasion

We don’t mean get all dressed up.  Just make sure you are “well presented” and look the way your partner finds pleasing.  Also choose clothing with deep and secure pockets – you don’t want to lose that ring!
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Have a plan B

So, the idea is to propose on a beautiful deserted beach.  Or on the top of Mount Snowdon.  Or in a rowing boat on the Serpentine in Hyde Park.  But on the day it’s blowing a gale and lashing down with rain.  Make sure you have a couple of suitably romantic indoor options as a backup.  
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Don’t memorise a script

It’s not enough to just pop the question.  You have to tell them why they are the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with.  You’ve also got to give it some emotion!  Whatever words you choose, whether you remember the moment your eyes first met, the way you can’t bear to be apart from them or the way you laugh at each other’s jokes it has to come across as genuine, natural and heartfelt.  

Trying to memorise and deliver your lines like an actor is likely to come across all wrong.   Obviously you need to pick your words carefully but it’s best to have three key points you want to communicate – any more than that and chances are you’ll get yourself in a tangle.
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Share the news

If you haven’t already cleared the proposal with both sets of parents before popping the question and slipping the ring on her finger then they are the first who need to know.  Even if they were in the picture it’s probably courteous to let them know the outcome before you start broadcasting to the world.  Once the family know where things stand you can tell whoever you like!
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What next?

We hope you find these thoughts helpful – and good luck!  Once all the excitement has died down a bit you are probably going to start making wedding plans.  The team at Clevedon Hall is not short of experience in this department so if you have any questions just ask away – it’ll be less stressful than the other question you’ve just popped!

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People have been getting married for thousands of years (the first recorded wedding ceremony dates from about 2350 B.C. in Mesopotamia).  And over those four thousand years a body of best practice has emerged as couples have learnt, from experience, what worked well…and what didn’t!  In this post we share a few common mistakes that brides would do best to avoid.   If you want a fairy tale wedding read and take note!

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Please yourself

We go through life being told we mustn’t be selfish – but this is one occasion when (within limits…nobody likes a total Bridezilla!) you are allowed to indulge yourself.  Other people, from your parents to your in-laws, your friends to your relatives, are going to have certain expectations and opinions.  It’s diplomatic to hear them out but this is the biggest day of your life, not theirs, so don’t be unduly swayed by them.  

Likewise, don’t be overly concerned about stage managing an event that’s going to look great on Facebook and Instagram – concentrate on creating a great experience for those who are in the room rather than those who aren’t!  

Another thing - try not to think about your friends’ weddings and out-do them.  It’s a wedding, not a competition, and having a ceremony that’s perfect for you is far more important than anything else.  

So, if your happy place is a festival field then an overly formal wedding celebration is probably not for you.  But if you and your partner are more black-tie and ballroom then something casual and rustic-chic is best avoided!

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Avoid under-budgeting

You need to be realistic – weddings are expensive.  According to Hitched magazine’s National Wedding Survey the average total cost of a wedding in 2019 was £31,974.  Of course you can do it for less but the danger is that you optimistically assume you can come in way under this – only to discover half way through the process that you either have to find more money or scale things down a bit.  It’s no fun going into your big day with money worries or having to make do without some of the exciting extras you’d really set your heart on.    

To avoid this situation we’d advise having a contingency fund built into the finances - at least an extra 10% on top for forgotten or unforeseen costs. Trust us, there will be something you didn’t think about, and finding an extra £500 to pay the DJ or £1000 for evening food that you forgot you ordered the week before your wedding will be almost impossible.

Another useful tip is to get acquainted with Excel, or one of the many free wedding budget spreadsheets that are available, well before you start looking at dresses, venues and photography portfolios.

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Be sensible the night before

The idea of a warm-up session with your friends the night before your big day is probably appealing – but not wise.  Not only will you wake up feeling less than your absolute best but a puffy face and baggy eyes is not the look you want to achieve!  Much better to have a quiet night in and get a good night’s sleep.  Best to drink plenty of water, rather than alcohol, and go for something healthy and wholesome rather than pizza with Doritos and popcorn on the side!

Avoid putting glamour before comfort

Of course you want to look stunning.  But don’t squeeze yourself into a dress that causes you discomfort, or is too daring, just to impress (remember what we said earlier about being too influenced by Instagram).  Being in pain, or feeling awkward, can seriously spoil what should be an entirely magical experience.  Choose a dress that flatters your figure without being so tight or low-cut that you're constantly squirming or adjusting things.  Also consider flat shoes rather than high heels.  It’s a long day with a lot of time on your feet, followed by an evening of dancing – you don’t need blisters spoiling your memories!

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Resist the temptation to order your dress a size too small

Following on from the previous point it’s best to play safe.  If you regularly fluctuate by a dress size, and you know it won’t be a problem to drop a dress size between ordering your outfit and your wedding day, then go ahead.  However, we suggest you’re better off choosing a dress that suits you at your natural normal size rather than trying to alter your body to achieve a desired look.

It’s important to look and feel like yourself on your wedding day – you don’t want wedding photographs where you don’t recognise the bride!  And spending the last couple of weeks before your big day feeling miserable and hungry is a sure way to spoil the countdown.

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Don’t let someone talk you into a hairstyle that isn’t ‘you’

Again, beware of Instagram, Pinterest and other social media posts that feature hundreds of gorgeous, braiding up-dos, flower embellished halo braids and the like.  Do you usually wear your hair up?  If the answer is yes then it might be appropriate on this occasion too.  But if you don’t then it may not be such a great idea.  As with your dress it’s important you look and feel like yourself on your wedding day.  A completely unfamiliar style may make you feel slightly uncomfortable and this is not a good time to invite a bad hair day!

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Prepare for the unexpected

Even the best laid plan can be thrown into disarray – stuff just happens!  Whether it’s a wardrobe malfunction or a misbehaving child you need to plan for every eventuality.  

A few things you should probably consider:

·         Make sure every single child has an adult watching over them. Give clear instructions that the child (and adult!) can understand.

·         Ask the wedding party to arrive early so everyone is on station with time to spare.

·         Have a fully stocked first aid kit on the premises.

·         Make your photography and social media policy clear before people go snap happy and start posting pictures half way through the ceremony.  

·         If your wedding is in a church and some of your guests are unfamiliar with the religious protocols provide instruction or explanation so they won't be embarrassed or have awkward moments.

·         Have a box of tissues on every pew or row during the ceremony so guests can dab their eyes before their mascara starts to run.  

·         Nominate someone who is unlikely to drink a lot to keep an eye out for those who might drink a bit too much.  If they see someone who is starting to lose it they can have a discreet word with the bartender and generally monitor the situation so it does not end in tears (or worse).

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Don’t bet on good weather

Even if you are getting married in the height of summer it pays to be prepared for a bit (a lot?) of rain.  It’s smart to pick a venue which gives you the option of holding some of your event outdoors (photographs, al fresco drinks reception, barbecue, games for kids…including big ones!), but with plenty of appropriate spaces under cover in case the weather decides to dump on your big day.  

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Provide super clear and simple directions

This is especially important if your reception is in a different location to the ceremony.  Leave nothing to chance - print some detailed directions and include them in the invitation.  If you’ve got a website post them here as well.  Plus you can hand the directions out as people leave the ceremony.  Nothing puts a damper on things quite like people who arrive late and stressed because they got lost!

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Beware of overcomplicating things

If you’ve got the budget, the time and the inclination you really can go mad with little details to make your big day extra special.   But sweet individual favours and unique personalised table decorations, lovely and thoughtful as they may be, are not essential to your guests’ enjoyment. The chances are at least 50% of your guests will leave their favours behind (hello money-down-the-drain).  If your budget is tight you’re better off swapping decoration or favour money for some extra table wine – this will probably be more popular than organza chair sashes or little pots of jam with your initials on!

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Make time to talk to everyone

Although this is your special day it’s important to make every guest feel special too – and nothing does that quite like paying them some individual attention.  Obviously you’ll need to focus on members of the wedding party, and you’ll also want to socialise with your closest friends.  But you also need make the rounds of all the other guests to say a few words.  Thank everyone for sharing this special day and let them know how much it means to you for them to be there.

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Be prompt with the Thank You notes

No one expects you to write thank you notes during your honeymoon.  But you should make that a priority as soon as you return. The sooner you do it the less likely you are to get tied up with other things.  Doing it late is better than never but don’t leave it too long.  Who writes the notes?  Both of you.

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Anything else?

Organizing a wedding is a complicated and challenging project and there are bound to be things which, with hindsight, you could have done better.  Although this list could have been much longer (but we don’t want to overdo it) it probably covers the most common areas where people trip up.  We hope you find it useful but if you’d like to discuss your own particular wedding plans just get in touch – the experienced team at Clevedon Hall is only too happy to offer more expert advice.  

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About 250,000 couples get married every year in England and Wales – and about 40% of those, 100,000 of them, are doing it for the second or even third time.  This raises a number of questions – if you don’t ask them yourselves you’ll have no shortage of helpful people asking (and answering!) them for you.  Planning a second wedding can feel like tiptoeing through an etiquette minefield and running the gauntlet of friends and family with opinions on what is or isn't appropriate.  In this article we share a few thoughts you will hopefully find helpful.

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You are free to choose

First or second time around there’s no big difference in terms of practical details, logistics and planning – you’ll have to sort the same stuff, from invitations to the dress, the venue to the flowers, the ceremony to the catering.

You can, however, ring the changes a little, a lot or not at all.  You might do things exactly the same as last time.  Having said that, you probably don't want a play-by-play of your first wedding – it may bring back unwelcome memories and is not the best way to mark a new beginning.

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Most couples opt to do things very differently and seize the opportunity to create an event that’s totally fresh and unique.  The fact is that there are few restrictions and faux pas to avoid.  And looking on the positive side you are now a little older, wiser and experienced so you’ll probably feel more confident about going with your own ideas rather than indulging pushy family and friends.

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Announcing Your Engagement

Your children should be the first to know and they need to hear it direct from you.  Discuss with them who is going to tell their other parent/your ex.  They might want to communicate the news themselves or they might prefer you to do it.  

If you don’t have children it is not mandatory to inform your previous spouse.  You might decide, however, that it is better that they hear it from you rather than someone else.  The best way to tell them is probably in the form of a letter or email Afterward, announce your engagement in the regular way.

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Involving Children in a Second Wedding

If you and your new intended have children you probably want to make them a special part of the celebrations.  Of course a lot depends on their ages but they may be a flower girl, ring bearer, junior bridesmaid or groomsman, or even the best man or maid of honour.  They might like to read something during the ceremony or make a special toast during the reception. Whatever is discussed and decided make sure they are comfortable their role.

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Reception inspiration

Should your celebrations, and the venue, be more modest and understated simply because you’ve done it all once before?  No!  This is a fresh start so forget any comparisons with the previous event so don’t let the past limit you in any way.  If you want a super-formal extravaganza in a ballroom, or a casual rustic affair in a woodland, it’s your day and you are free to do it your way.  

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Your first wedding may have been heavily influenced by one or more of your relatives and you may have gone along with their wishes just to make them happy.  This is your chance to have the wedding you really wanted back then!

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Dress decorum

In years gone by a pristine white dress was the preserve of the virginal bride and a no-no for those tying the knot a second time.  That old rule, like so much else, has become entirely passé and you can wear white whether it's your second, third or even fourth marriage!

Most brides getting remarried have already had their "princess in a white dress" moment the first time around, and so opt for a more mature look such as a brocade suit or a simple cocktail dress.  The most important thing is to pick a style that suits your personality, figure, and the nature of the wedding.

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The only hard and fast rule is don't wear the dress you wore the first time around. You might be tempted by the prospect of saving a few pounds and avoiding the stress of dress shopping, but resist!  Your old wedding dress comes with too many memories and you want the focus to be on the new chapter in your life that is now unfolding.   We'd even suggest looking at dresses in a different style, silhouette, or fabric than your first wedding gown to avoid any feelings of fashion déjà vu. Ideas for what to wear to a second wedding might include:

·         A designer, non-wedding dress in any colour

·         A slightly non-traditional wedding dress in blush, pale blue, or one that features a colourful pattern

·         A demure suit in any colour

·         A flirty cocktail dress

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Bank of Mum and Dad

Your parents probably contributed heavily to your first wedding but don't assume they’ll be quite so generous this time around.  If you know they are keen to contribute, or they are particularly well off, then by all means accept any offer of assistance graciously.  In most instances couple getting hitched for a second time cover the costs themselves.  

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Church ceremony?

Don’t count on being able to walk down the aisle a second time.  The more strict your particular religion the less likely they’ll welcome you back for a re-run.  The Roman Catholic Church doesn't recognize divorce, for instance.  If you encounter this kind of problem you’ll have to exchange vows at the reception venue or another nondenominational location.

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Guests bearing gifts

Don’t expect guests to give you wedding gifts, especially if they attended your first wedding.  The giving of gifts was traditionally to help a young couple set up their first home and you and your intended have probably got more kitchen appliances and towel sets than you need already.  

However, despite this, the giving of gifts is becoming more common for second weddings, at least where family and close friends are concerned.  One way to resolve any awkwardness about gift giving is to register with a favourite charity and give guests the option of making a donation.

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Bridesmaids?

You can have bridesmaids if you want, even if they're the same women who were in your original bridal party.  When it comes to their dresses don’t ask them to push the boat out too far.  If you can afford it, you might want to pay for their gowns, or if not, at least give them more freedom to choose styles they can actually wear again.

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Invite the ex?

Even though you may still be on good terms it is unadvisable to have your previous partner to join the party or ceremony.  Other guests may feel uncomfortable, especially your new spouse's family.  What’s more, emotions run high at weddings, everybody has lots to drink, and despite everyone’s best intentions words can be exchanged and misunderstandings arise – best to keep your ex well out of the way!

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Get in touch if you have a question

Even if you’ve tied the knot before there will probably a few things you are not sure about.  The team here are only too happy to help in any way we can so ask away!

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The idea of jetting off to foreign climes for your honeymoon may be appealing.  But there’s a big cloud on the horizon.  Uncertainty about whether we are “in or out”, and all the worries this gives rise to, is likely to continue for quite some time – something you should probably bear in mind when planning that magical start to married life.  

Sitting for hours stranded in an airport is not the kind of memory you want to be left with.  Finding that the pound has crashed even further, and you spend the whole time watching the pennies, is nobody’s idea of bliss either.  A honeymoon at home has never looked so tempting!  In this post we share a few random staycation ideas that’ll provide tasty food for thought.  

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Here be romance

There are certain areas of the country that more readily inspire feelings of romance than others (sorry Slough, Wolverhampton and Chelmsford, but let’s get real!).  The Lake District, for instance, with its stunning scenery much celebrated by our romantic poets, will always be up near the top of the list.  The Cotswolds, with its rolling hills and quaint villages of honey coloured stone, is a shoo-in too.  The Cornish Coast, celebrated for its beautiful beaches and soaring cliffs also rates highly as the setting for the romances of Daphne du Maurier and tales of Poldark.  All three of these areas are also well served with wonderful boutique hotels, superb foodie experiences and great pubs/bars – so a honeymoon here is pretty sure to be a romantic success.

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The whole of Scotland (north of Glasgow) also qualifies as “romantic” but much of it is pretty wild and deserted – the idea of being blissfully alone with the love of your life, miles from anywhere, is fine if you are not the kind of person who gets withdrawal symptoms when too far from civilization.  You could, however, have the best of both worlds if you split your time between Edinburgh and the Highlands (with the occasional distillery visit in between!).

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Less obvious love hotspots

If the Lake District, the Cotswolds and Cornwall seem a little unimaginative there are plenty of other options which are equally lovely but slightly less predictable.  

The coastline of Wales is more than a match for anything Devon and Cornwall has to offer – and it’s considerably less crowded.  Pembrokeshire is especially dramatic and rugged, with superb beaches ringed by spectacular cliffs.  The Gower is easier to reach, with scenery that’s more gentle and mile upon mile of pristine sand.  The coastline of North Wales is also breath-taking, with huge mountains to match and some lovely little seaside towns like Barmouth and Aberdovey.

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If you want to stay somewhere quintessentially English then Norfolk and Suffolk will not disappoint.  Both counties are out on a bit of a limb and all the better for it.  You’ll discover beautiful little market towns, picturesque estuaries and quaint seaside resorts like Aldeburgh, Southwold and Cromer.  It’s also a bit of a renowned foodie destination with excellent seafood and some long-established breweries.  

If you are celebrating your wedding at Clevedon Hall Devon and Dorset might sound like too close to home for a proper honeymoon.  In fact, although only a short drive, both are actually a world away.  In many ways they have everything you could wish for – a huge choice of boutique hotels, a wealth of superb local produce served in some of the country’s trendies eateries and no shortage of inviting places to spend the day, from Totness to Lyme Regis and Salcombe to Lulworth Bay.

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Love Islands

There has always been something romantic about islands (long before the reality TV show!).  What’s more, the fact you have to cross a few miles of sea to get there gives you the feeling that you are “abroad”.  

The UK has a few offshore locations that make perfect honeymoon destinations.  The Channel Islands, British yet with a distinctly French flavour, tick all the right boxes – superb upmarket hotels, fabulous seaside scenery, great wining and dining (with plenty of freshly caught local seafood) and a wealth of slightly offbeat culture and heritage.  Jersey and Guernsey, the two biggest, offer more sophistication but the little ones like Herm, Sark and Alderney are delightfully laid back and peaceful.

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The Scilly Isles, just off the tip of Land’s End, are quintessentially English with a quaint vibe and pastel palette straight from the pages of Country Living and Coast magazine.  Only the largest, St Mary’s, has any cars and getting from one rocky outcrop to the next is by small motor launch, tides permitting – so the pace of life is very unhurried.  Each island has its own distinct character; Tresco is the poshest; St Mary’s the busiest; Bryher and Samson, more exposed to the Atlantic, are more rugged and barre.  All the islands are ringed with white sandy beaches gently shelving into crystal clear blue waters worthy of the Caribbean but St Martins probably surpasses the others in this regard.  Getting here, by air or boat, is not always easy, which only adds to the sense of adventure and seclusion.  

The Isle of Wight is not only easily accessible but offers wonderful walks along cliffs and beaches, with plenty of excellent hotels and eateries.  The whole island is an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty and those who have fallen under its spell include such notable romantics as Queen Victoria, Keats and Tennyson.  

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Love quirky

If your idea of the perfect honeymoon just the two of you, cuddled up together and enjoying each other’s company, then there’s no shortage of options that are both cosy and intriguingly off-beat.  

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Accommodation doesn’t come much more cosy than a shepherd’s hut – and over recent years they seem to have been popping up everywhere.  Or perhaps you’d be happier in a tree house – again they seem to have been sprouting all over the place in recent years.  

The National Trust and The Landmark Trust also offer a wide range of properties that combine history and heritage, quirkiness and comfort, in equal measure – as well as some adorable cottages you can snuggle up in a converted water tower, a restored railway station, a medieval gatehouse, a pineapple-shaped summer house, a mini French chateau in Lincolnshire, a fort on a rock off the isle of Alderney or even a gothic temple in the grounds of a stately home.

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Keep calm and honeymoon here

Worried that Brexit might spoil your best laid honeymoon plans?  Leave the politicians to it and book somewhere that doesn’t involve passports, foreign currency or border controls!   If you are planning a wedding, and want advice on anything from canapes and cocktails to local photographers and cake makers, the team here are happy to share their wealth of experience and contacts.   Although we’re not experts at giving honeymoon destination advice we can introduce you to people who are – just ask!

We recently hosted the fabulous Liz and Dave for their special wedding here at Clevedon Hall with the whole day being captured by the great Nick Church Photography.

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How confident do you feel about organising your own wedding?  Even if you intend your big day to be a relatively modest affair there’s an awful lot of decisions to take, things to organise and expenses to manage.  And if you have a grander occasion in mind things are going to become considerably more complicated, more demanding and more expensive.  Is it any wonder then that an increasing number of couples are hiring a professional wedding planner to help them manage the process from beginning to end?

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Wedding planners are not just for the few

We all know that no self-respecting celebrity or royal would dream of tying the knot without a wedding planner to do all the organisational heavy lifting, style directing, vendor negotiating, crisis managing and general sorting.  But me - surely a wedding planner is a bit out of my league…to say nothing of beyond my budget?!

That might have been true in the years gone by but times are changing – wedding planners are no longer the exclusive preserve of A-listers or wealthy bridezillas.  Recent research conducted by The Knot magazine indicates that 26% of couples in the US hired a professional wedding planner in 2015, up from just 19% in 2010.

Why is that?  Possibly because weddings are becoming more elaborate affairs and because life is getting more-full on and faster paced – two factors that put more pressure on couples to get extra help from a professional planner.

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Should I hire a wedding planner?

If you love the idea of project managing your own wedding and are confident that you have the time, the organisational ability and the necessary support from family and friends then go for it.  If, however, you really don’t have a clue where to start and are worried that it might all get too much and take the shine off your big day then maybe, just maybe, you should think about getting some extra help from an experienced professional.  Here are some factors you need to weigh up before coming to a final decision.

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Time and availability.  On average it can take about 250 hours to plan your wedding.  If you both work full time and have a lot of commitments already then hiring a planner might be a necessity.  Are you only available to meet vendors at the weekend?  Can you take calls and have discuss details while you are in the office?

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Ready-made support network.  Do you have plenty of outside help - an involved mother-of-the-bride, capable bridesmaids, knowledgeable friends, family members who are creative and have lots of skills that might come in useful?

On a tight schedule or worried you are falling behind.  Have you decided on a short engagement and need to get things done in a bit of a hurry?  Is it all proving a bit more challenging than you thought, your ‘To Do’ list is getting longer by the day and time is getting worryingly tight?

You are having some personality issues with parents and other family members.  Perhaps you need someone independent to step in and just move things forward without it getting too stressful and emotional?

You have a clear picture of what you want.  But do you struggle with decision making, attention to detail, negotiations and budgeting, checklists and deadlines?

You really have no idea what you want.  Do you feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices available to you, the whole idea of organising something so big and complicated is stressing you out already and elopement seems an increasingly attractive option?!  

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Will my budget stretch to include a wedding planner?

Every experienced and professional wedding planner will charge slightly differently but on the whole most UK wedding planners will want between 10 – 15% of your total budget spend to fully plan your wedding, with a minimum fee applicable.  Minimum fees generally start at around £3000.  So if your budget is £10,000 the cost will actually be 30%.  Also, the minimum fee could be higher than that.

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Wedding planning options

One important thing to bear in mind is kind of obvious…but worth spelling out.  You need to be absolutely clear what that fee covers.  In general there are three possible options:

·         Full Wedding Planning.  Comprehensive service that probably includes pretty much everything – sourcing and booking venue and all suppliers, attending all meetings with you, sorting all the admin (or ‘wedmin’ as it is known in the industry), and pulling all the details into a schedule with costs and timelines.  Managing everything on the day so you can totally relax and enjoy it to the max. Be sure to ask if there are any items which they don’t include in the service - many planners won’t include the cost of the rings and wedding dress in the budget when calculating your fee.  

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·         Partial Wedding Planning.  Ideal if you start the planning yourself but then realise you need some help.  For instance, you might have booked your venue but then feel overwhelmed at the thought of sourcing all your suppliers.  Or your circumstances might change and you suddenly find you have less spare time.  This option allows you to bring in a planner at any stage to pick up where you left off.  They will assess what is left to do and base their price on the amount of work this will need.  This service is usually comes at a fixed price, rather than a percentage – expect to pay anything upwards of £1500.

·         Wedding Day Management.  As the title suggests, you have sorted everything yourself but just want to free yourself up on the day itself.  This is ideal if have hired a ‘dry hire’ venue where nothing is provided apart from the space – for instance, you set up a marquee in a field or you book a barn and have to bring in all your suppliers, set up a bar and goodness know what else for yourself and co-ordinate it all with no help from venue staff.  It’s worth pointing out that Full and Partial Planning include Wedding Day Managements in their price.

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Book a venue with a team to support you

Hiring a wedding planner is not essential – but bearing in mind all the points above you might find it appropriate.  Another option, and one that is still the most popular by far, is to choose a venue with an experienced team to help you.  

If you book a wedding at Clevedon Hall you probably don’t need the additional expense of a wedding planner.  A lot of resources are included – full catering, drinks, bar, 25 luxurious bedrooms, a cottage for bride and groom and much more.  You also have your own dedicated Wedding Manager, a dedicated Events Manager and a Master of Ceremonies.  Together they will help you with much of the planning and recommend trusted local suppliers who are most appropriate to your needs.  On the day our events team will manage and co-ordinate things and act as master of ceremonies so you can just relax, enjoy the moment and focus on your guests.  

If you want to hire your own wedding planner as well then that’s fine – and we do occasionally host weddings in partnership with planners.  However, the resources, experience and people we provide you with means a planner is not really necessary.

Hopefully this post answers most of your general questions about whether you need a wedding planner or not.  But if you have some more specific queries than just get in touch – we love talking weddings!

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People have been getting married for thousands of years – and over that time different cultures have developed different traditions.   Etiquette is what those traditions dictate – it’s “what’s typically expected”.  

You might be the kind of couple that likes the idea of conforming.  Or you might be sort that feels rules, unwritten or otherwise, are there to be broken.  Either way it’s useful to know, in advance, what the form is.  So in this post we pick some common etiquette questions that regularly pop up so you are aware of the social norms.

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Does the groom have to ask the dad’s permission before popping the question?

Traditionally, yes.  However, this is based on the idea that the woman is the ‘property’ of her family, which is slightly outdated (slightly?!).  None the less this tradition still persists.  You might upset your future father-in-law very early in the relationship if you ignore this one.  On the other hand you may upset your future wife if you ask her dad first.  Welcome to the tricky world of families, relationships and cultural complications.  You are going to have to use your judgement on this one.

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Is there a right and wrong way to announce your engagement?

Traditionally the bride’s father would announce your forthcoming nuptials in a good quality newspaper.  Now the norm is to spread the news yourself on social media.  However, you might upset close family and friends if you don’t tell them personally before you broadcast your happy news to the world at large.  A word of warning to those close friends and family – don’t congratulate the couple on social media until they have posted the news themselves.  

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Who traditionally pays for what when you get married?

Money is always a sensitive topic and different families tend to have different attitudes – so this can be a minefield.  Check our earlier blog post for details on how things are traditionally handled.

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Is a free bar the norm?

Most couples, and their families, have to keep a close eye on the budget – and most guest will understand that.  Typically you’ll be expected to pay for all the drinks up until the evening reception starts.  In other words you’ll provide the post-ceremony drinks reception and the wine throughout dinner but from there on you ask guests to pay their own way.  Having said that you could consider providing a very limited selection of free drinks in the evening – perhaps a couple of kegs of beer and a box of draught cider.

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Can we invite someone to the Hen or Stag do but not the wedding?

Technically yes, but in practice a very bad idea.   Anyone you invite to either of these events will expect to be included in the main event.

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What’s the etiquette with inviting partners?

The usual form is to invite long term partners.  Weddings are expensive so you don’t want to be paying for people neither of you know – you could invite just partners that you have met and are on friendly terms with.   Having said that, be consistent – if that’s your decision for one couple it has to go for all of them.  On a slightly different tack, what about the traditional idea that single guests are given a “plus one” invite?  That idea is probably past its sell by date – most singles will expect to come on their own.

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Are we obliged to invite friends of our parents?

Tricky question and you need to tread carefully.  Depends on whether the parents are going OTT with the invites or just limiting it to a handful of their closest mates.  If it’s going to break the budget then it’s time for a little chat.  However, if mum and dad are footing the bill then you don’t have a leg to stand on!

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Who is the invite from?

Traditionally the bride’s parents are the ones who invite the guests and the invitation is worded accordingly.  Today most couples dispense with this slightly quaint practice and word the invitation from themselves.

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How to handle guests who fail to RSVP?

Although getting someone to formally RSVP in writing, or at least by email, may seem a bit harsh it will avoid embarrassing misunderstandings.  The invite or response may have got lost in the post, they might think they’ve replied when they haven’t, people are really busy and get confused.  Best think to do is politely check with them.  Otherwise you could have some empty places or, even worse, nowhere for them to sit – either way feelings are going to get hurt.

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How should guests dress?

You can stipulate a dress code on the invitation and etiquette suggests guests should respect that.  But what should guests do if appropriate attire is not specified?  Play it safe and dress formally.  Unless the invite says dress is casual then  jeans, even smart ones, are almost certainly not acceptable.  Women should not dress in white, or ivory – that’s for the bride and bride alone.

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Do guests have to bring or buy a gift?

Unless otherwise directed the answer is yes.  Even if the invite says “no gifts” you might like to politely ignore this and give them something inexpensive but thoughtful anyway.  If there’s a gift list try to stick to that but if everything is outside your budget think about a unique gift you think they’d like – it’s the thought that counts.

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Should guests post pictures of the wedding on the day itself?

As a guest use your judgement.  Generally speaking you shouldn’t post photos of the couple on social media before the evening guests have arrived – that will spoil the surprise of later guests seeing the dress for the first time.  As bride and groom you should clearly communicate be specific about what you do and don’t want people to do with regard to social media – that will make it easier for everyone and avoid any awkwardness.

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Should the honeymoon destination be a surprise for the bride?

Etiquette says yes but in these days of gender equality the answer is probably no – it should probably be a joint decision.  The element of surprise will be lost but that’s probably better than her being disappointed!

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Don’t be afraid to ask

We’ve covered some of the most common questions about traditional and current wedding etiquette but you probably have a few more.  Just give us a call and the team will be happy to help – we’ve hosted so many big days that we’re not short of experience when it comes to helping with matters of custom,  protocol and convention.

This last May we had the wonderful Birgit and Jonathan have an amazing wedding with us here at Clevedon Hall. Birgit’s dress was stunning, amazing food and the evening was finished with the bang of colourful fireworks. The whole day was captured by the talented Lee Hatherall.

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The first few weeks after your wedding everything is probably a bit of a blur.  You are still recovering from all the excitement of the big day.  You probably went off on honeymoon.  Things will have calmed down after all that frantic planning organising.  And you are still getting used to your new status as man and wife.  At some point you are going to wake up and realise that life has settled down to “normal” again.  It will be a new normal…but normal none the less.  It’s important, however, to realise that this is not the end of something, but actually the true beginning – a really special time where you develop a deeper bond with your partner and establish your life as a married couple.  

Even though every couple is different, there are a few things that all couples can do to really help make the first year together memorably magical.  The wedding whirlwind is finally settling down and you now have the time to stop and smell the roses, get to know each other better and really think about the future.  So in this post we share some ideas about how you can make the most out of your first year of wedded bliss.

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Be aware of how things are going

It’s easy to slide into relationship laziness without ever realizing what is happening.  There’s no harm in feeling comfortable together, but you don’t want that to become complacency and start taking each other for granted.

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Take humour seriously

Laughter is incredibly important in a relationship.  It’s almost certainly one of the main things that attracted you to your partner in the first place – and it will help you feel good about staying together.  When problems arise (and they will, for sure) laughter helps you both cope better – thing never seem so big and difficult if you can have a laugh at them.  On the other hand the good times are even more fun when you are laughing so hard it hurts.  Whether you go to comedy nights, watch your favourite comedy TV shows together, play bad air guitar when you are preparing supper, it’s crucial that you take the time to laugh together—hard and often.

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Make a date

Remember when you first started “going out” together?  You went OUT!  Now you live together this may seem unnecessary.  But it’s now even more important than ever.  It’s just too easy to get stuck in a boring routine – so you need to make a conscious effort to mix things up a bit.  That could mean meeting up for a drink and/or a meal straight from work – instead of going home and just slumping down in front of the TV with a bottle of wine.  Booking the occasional weekend break is also a great idea – there are plenty of city break bargains to be had or you could just throw a tent and your sleeping bags in the car.  Is there a band or festival you fancy, a great film coming out shortly or a new pizza place to try?

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Get your finances on an even keel

It’s quite likely that you went into the red during your wedding planning – it’s normal for people to push the boat out a bit far when organising their big day.  But now you should get things a little more organised.  Most couples don’t actually join their finances until the wedding is out of the way.  If you haven’t already done so it’s time to have an important talk about you are going to manage your money going forward.  This may not sound very romantic, but it doesn’t have to be like that.  It’s an opportunity to have a closer look at your dreams then plan how you are going to make them a reality.

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Don’t let the phone come between you

The average person in the UK spends more than a day a week online according to recent research.  So you may think it’s OK to be watching your phone when you are having dinner together, while you are watching TV or even in the middle of a conversation with your spouse, it’s a habit you want to avoid.  It may seem harmless because so many others do it.  But it can very quickly create distance between you and your partner.  When you are together put your focus on your spouse, not on a screen!

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Get a new hobby with your hubby

One of the best ways to strengthen your relationship, and make sure you are spending time together in a way that’s fun and rewarding, is to do something new.  You feel more like a team. You start chatting again (and the more you talk about little things, the easier it is to talk about big things!). And you laugh. Whenever you laugh together barriers come down, things relax and you feel close.  So if he suggests taking up cycling, coming to football with him or going for golf lessons don’t be too quick to say no.  Maybe you could get him to try a Salsa class, join a book group or get him into baking?

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Make sure you say “thank you” regularly

Put it into words and take the time to tell your partner how amazing they are, how much they mean to you, and how important your relationship is.  But also do it with gifts and hugs.  Everyone expresses gratitude differently - the important thing is that you’re showing it.

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Last word

The team at Clevedon Court don’t provide relationship counselling – but we can certainly help with every aspect of your wedding planning.  So give us a call if you have any questions about your big day…but we hope this article proves useful in the months and years after you become Mr & Mrs!

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Do you really need to create a website for your wedding?  No, it’s not essential – for thousands of years people have managed to get married without a website.  However…..we’re now in a world where we seem to be living a lot of our life online.  We shop online, we play games online, we get our music and entertainment online, we socialise online, we work online and a lot of couples would never have got together if they hadn’t been dating online!  So it’s something you seriously need to consider – because a lot of your guests are going to expect it.

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It’s a good idea because:

·         It’s super helpful and useful.  A wedding website provides the perfect hub for information and a great space where everyone involved can “meet” in a single virtual space.  It makes the planning and communication so much easier because you can put all the important details up here so you are not constantly having to respond to questions over the phone or via email, text or other messaging apps.  With everything in one place there’s less chance of miscommunication and you can set up alerts to notify people of changes – saves contacting them all individually.

·         It’s not expensive.  There’s a huge range of website builders to choose from and there are even some platforms that are free.  NB we’ve not listed prices in this post as they may well change – you’ll have to visit each site to get current rates.

·         Most web builders allow you to personalise your site so it reflects the theme and colour scheme of your wedding.  You can add photos and a forum for your guests to chat on.  All in all it enables you to start building the excitement long before the big day.

·         It’s secure.  The web builder should enable you to password protect your site so access is only provided to those you select.

·         You can add all sorts of features that make managing your wedding much easier - set up your virtual wedding gift list, send out invitations and get RSVPs sent directly to the site.  You can also set up your table plan online. This keeps all your essential wedding information in one handy place without the need for a paper-based filing system.

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Do’s and Don’t’s

·         Do stick with your theme.  If your wedding is going to be a country chic style affair with a green and beige colour scheme and a rustic typeface then you want to carry that look through onto your website.  Likewise if you are creating a very formal black tie event your website should reflect that.  You are telling a story and setting a scene, so it all needs to be consistent or the spell will be broken and your guests will be confused – you don’t want them turning up in dinner jackets and cocktail dresses if you are expecting them in tweeds and floaty floral skirts!

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·         Do use a password so you keep the site private and secure.

·         Don’t use online RSVPs.  This feature might seem tempting but online RSVPs aren’t taken as seriously as paper cards, so it’s best to keep it formal. Also, some of your older or less tech-savvy guests may not be able to successfully RSVP online, meaning your count could be off or replies could be late.  Having said that it’s probably fine to use of online RSVPs for more casual gatherings like your morning-after brunch, where you’re looking for an estimated idea of numbers and not a formal RSVP.

·         Do provide detailed travel and destination information.  Whether your celebration is local or you’ve opted a distant destination wedding, there will be guests coming from far and wide so provide everything they need. Include a list of local hotels and B&B’s with their contact details, as well as a map and directions to the venue.  If you’ve made any special arrangements with accommodation providers or taxi be sure to add this information as well.  

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·         Don’t put details of invite-only events on the website.  Everyone on your guest list needs access to the website but there may be some exclusive gatherings, like a rehearsal dinner just for the wedding part or a bridesmaids-only luncheon, that not everyone is invited to attend.  Leave the details of these events off the site so you don’t make others feel left out.

·         Don’t forget to put a wedding timeline on the site.  It’s really helpful for people, especially those who are bringing kids or organising childcare, and for older guests who may only be attending for part of the day.

·         Don’t write a novel.  By all means you can give people a little background to you love story – how you met, how the relationship developed, how you got engaged.  You can also provide introductions to everyone in the wedding party and perhaps a quick overview of each bridesmaid and groomsman.  But keep everything short and sweet.

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Best wedding website builders

There are lots of great providers and templates to choose from.  This list is by no means exhaustive but you should probably check these ones out before making a decision.

·         Squarespace.  We use Squarespace for our website so it’s obviously a bit of a favourite with the team at Clevedon Hall.  It's probably the most professional-looking site you're going to get without hiring a designer and can customize pretty much every single element to create your own distinctive look and feel.  However, there are cheaper options.

·         Wix.  There’s a free version or a very cheap premium option.  The templates are modern, minimalist and chic.  You you can easily customize elements with a click-and-drag editor. But if you don't want a big Wix ad at the top of your site you're going to have to pay extra.

·         Joy.  Free version with a lot of extra features like a photo-streaming timeline and guest messaging. But your layout options are extremely limited - designs are primarily rustic and very floral.

·         The Knot.  This huge US based wedding directory provides a free wedding website builder service with 100+ designs.  It’s free and unlike most free options, you get your very own personalised URL. Your site will be mobile-friendly and you have the option to collect your guest photos from Facebook and Instagram.  

·         Appy Couple.   Extensive selection of beautiful templates and you can use the same style for things you want to print, like invitations, order of service and menus.  Not only stylish it's incredibly easy to use, entirely customisable, and has every kind of built-in feature you can think of.

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·         Riley & Grey.  Great for a couple who wants to invest in design and have a non-traditional website that stands out from the pack.  Not the quickest and easiest to set up.

·         Minted. Let’s you create something with a very unique feel, and enables you to match the look of the website to the invites and décor. But if you want practical features RSVP, a photo album and privacy controls, it's not your best option.

·         Weduary.  Very social media friendly. In addition to the usual features it offers the option to connect your guestlist to each other through Facebook. You can notify your guests via Facebook, they'll receive an email when they are invited to your wedding, you can keep up with RSVPs and it allows your guests to get to know each other before they meet on the day.

·         eWedding.  The themes are a little more traditional than other design-led sites but it does have good features - lots of customisation options, a relationship timeline, and a text RSVP tool.  It’s also less expensive than some of the other premium website builders.

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Got some more queries?

Hopefully that answers some of you wedding website questions but if you’d like any further input and advice just get in touch – the team at Clevedon Hall are here to help in any way we can.

In April, Amy and Karl started their journey into married life and we are so pleased to have been their at the start to celebrate such a special occasion. The day was captured by the brilliant Jodie Hurd. A truly amazing spring day for a fantastic couple finished with the couple’s choreographed first dance!

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First the good news: your mate has done you the honour of asking you to be his best man.  And now the bad news: you are responsible for giving him, and all his chums, the best time of their lives before he finally grows up and settles down.  What’s more you also have to make sure he’s still in one piece in time for the wedding and not in jail/hospital/the doghouse.  No pressure then!  In this post we share some “best practice” advice you should find helpful.

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Outline planning meeting

You need to have an initial discussion with the stag to see what kind of thing he has in mind.  It is advisable to do this over a beer in a pub – it’s a great excuse for a pint with a great mate so grab it with both hands!  First you need to sort out some possible dates (not too near to the wedding so there’s time for his eyebrows to grow back).

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Also, are we talking just one day and night, a weekend, or a long weekend.  What sort of event would he like and what kind of activities – is he thinking a wild weekend in Amsterdam, Prague or Dublin where the main activity will be drinking, or somewhere in the UK with a bit of paintballing, go carting or clay pigeon shooting?  One of the joys of a stag event is the element of surprise – so you’ll probably keep a few of your ideas up your sleeve.  

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You’ll need a list of people he’s planning to invite, with email addresses and phone numbers.

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Who’s up for it?

Fire off an email to everyone on the list to see who is keen to attend and check their availability.  You need to offer a selection of possible dates otherwise you’ll find a lot of people won’t be able to make it.  Word the invite so you get a clear commitment – you don’t want a load of “maybes” as this is going to make any further planning problematic and hold things up.

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Time and money

You need to be realistic about everyone’s availability and how much they are willing to spend.  Four days in Vegas may sound great but it’s not such a smart idea if few people can get the time off and have the cash.  As with the dates it may be best to offer a range of options and then see which one gets the most takers.  On the other hand don’t give too many choices as that could just make it more difficult to get something everyone can agree on.  

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Booking accommodation

Once you’ve decided on dates and a destination you’ll need to find somewhere to stay.  If you’re going abroad then a hotel is probably the easiest option – but if you are doing something like a golf weekend in the Algarve then a villa might work.  In the UK you might consider booking a country house, camping or even a boat on the Thames.  

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One thing to bear in mind is that some people may have to drop out nearer the time.  In this situation it’s easier to reduce the number of hotel rooms than it is to ask the whole group to contribute more towards a 14 bed cottage when only 10 can attend come final payment.

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Fun and games

Stag parties are not just about drinking, drinking and more drinking – they usually include some other form of activity as well.  You need to consider what is likely to appeal to the group.  There’s no sense in going potholing, white water rafting or bungee jumping if that kind of adventure leaves everyone cold.  Similarly, if most of them have been Zorbing on a previous stag do then they may not be keen to do it again.

Dressing up

Dressing the stag in a mankini, a gayest-man-in-the-village outfit or a blow up willy costume can be embarrassing and fun – the more embarrassing the more fun (especially the more everyone has had to drink).  

The rest of the group may want to join in by wearing something almost as silly, like matching T shirts with some non-PC image or message.  It’s all part of the male bonding ritual and you’ll need to discuss ideas with the rest of the group – hopefully over a few pints.

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Dares, forfeits and other silly stuff

No stag party is complete with games, pranks and challenges to keep everyone amused (and suitably inebriated).  For example, the good old Toy Soldier routine: each stag is given a toy soldier at the start of the proceedings.  Then, whenever the best man shouts ‘assume the position’, all stags have to get into the same position as their toy soldier. The last man to get into position will face a forfeit.

There’s no shortage of crazy, daft, embarrassing and hilarious (when you are well on the way to a hangover) options, from Mr President to left hand drinking, Pub Golf to Shark Attack (just do an online search).  You just have to work out which ones you’ll be playing and what forfeits the unfortunate losers must accept.

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Money up front

Stag parties can get expensive and it’s easy to lose the plot (that’s the whole point, surely?).  As best man you’d be ill advised to pay for everything yourself then try to collect the money from everyone else later – that could lead to some awkward conversations and someone being left out of pocket.  Get everyone to pay their share as they go in terms of things like flights and accommodation.  Then have some kind of float that everyone pays into for drinks and expenses on the day/night.  

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Check with the club

If you plan to end up at a particular pub or bar it’s smart to warn them in advance – you don’t want to be turned away at the door.  Sell it to them on the basis that you’ll hugely increase their takings for that night!

Need more help or ideas?

The team at Clevedon Hall have hosted a lot of weddings and we have plenty of Stag Party advice we can share.  Give us a call and we’ll happily answer any questions you may have.

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Your wedding is almost certainly the biggest party you are going to throw in your entire lifetime – and that means organising, and paying for, large quantities of alcohol.  Running out of booze is not going to go down well.  But by the same token you don’t want to go overboard and give yourself a nasty financial hangover.  In this post we share a few tips you might find helpful.

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Who is providing the bar?

If you are booking a venue like Clevedon Hall then things are much simpler – there’s a bar already set up and there’s will be a team who can advise you on how best to play things.  However, if you are holding your celebration in a marquee in the middle of a field, a collection of yurts way off the beaten track or you’re lucky enough to have parents with an enormous garden, then there’s a lot more you need to think about and organise.  Either way you are almost certainly going to have some kind of bar arrangement, probably with a bartender or two to run the show, mix cocktails and generally make things run smoothly.  

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Whose round is it anyway?

Inviting guests to your wedding then asking them to pay for all the drinks is an absolute no-no!   But you have, broadly speaking, three options as far as the bar is concerned.

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Open Bar

This means the drinks are all free, all day and all night.  It’s a simple arrangement, but the most expensive one.  There’s no money changing hands which makes everything much quicker and easier.  Plus, if you holding your wedding in a venue or setting that does not have a drinks licence, you won’t have to apply for a Temporary Events Notice.

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Cash Bar

You provide some of the drinks (champagne for toasts and wine with the meal) but have a bar, with staff, and ask guests to pay for their drinks as the consume them.  This is going to save you a lot of money, but will may lead to a few grumbles.  Some people consider that a cash bar at a wedding is acceptable, but others feel it’s a bit stingy and tacky.  If you do gown this route warn people in advance.  Saving money is not the only positive – guests are less likely to get legless and spoil the proceedings!
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Limited Bar

The bride and groom pay for all of the alcohol but there’s only a limited selection on offer.  For instance, champagne for the toasts, beer and wine throughout and a signature cocktail or two.

Another variation is to have a fully stocked bar but the bride and groom put a sum of money on a tab.   Once that pre-paid amount has been consumed guests are asked to pay – a kind of “happy hour” approach.  

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Corkage

If you book a wedding venue they will almost certainly provide all the drinks.  However, another option is to buy the drinks in bulk and ask the venue to serve it.  Although this looks like a cheaper option they will charge you what’s known as “corkage”.  This is a service charge for opening and serving bottles of wine, sparkling wine, champagne and even spirits that are bought externally by customers with the intention of consuming them on site.  These charges vary from venue to venue so make sure you check this in advance.  You’ll then need to do plenty of research, and get your calculator out, to decide whether there’s enough of a saving to go to all the effort of sourcing your own champagne, wines, beers and spirits.  

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Quantities

If you are having a marquee wedding, or decide to buy your own and pay the corkage corkage, you are going to have to make some decisions regarding quantities.  First of all you need to know the number of guests.  Then you need to guesstimate how many are heavy drinkers, how many are light drinkers and how many are teetotal.  

It also helps to know how many glasses you get from different bottles and kegs:

1 bottle of 75cl wine              = 6 x 125ml glasses or 3 x 250ml

1 bottle of champagne           = 6 x flute glasses

11 gallon keg                           = 88 pints

4.4 gallon polypin                     = 35 pints

1 litre bottle of spirit             = 40 x 25ml measures

1 litre pimms                           = 20 x 50ml measures (mix with 100ml lemonade)

2 litre lemonade                      = 20 x 100ml measures (ideal for pimms)

When making your final calculations it probably helps to divide the day up into sections.  
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Reception

Allow three drinks per guest for a drinks reception lasting 1.5 hours.  Use the table above and do the maths!  
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Meal

For the meal you’ll need Champagne/Prosecco Toasts, 6 flutes to a bottle.  You’ll need wine to drink with the food and usually a 50/50 split between red and white works.  You get approximately 6 small glasses per bottle and work on the average guest consuming half a bottle.  If you are offering bottled water, assume guests will want 1 x 250ml glass each, which means1 bottle will serve about 3 guests.  Best to have a mix between still and sparkling.

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Evening bar

You can safely assume your bar will be open for four hours and that not everyone will be drinking the whole time – some will be dancing, eating or leave early with kids or elderly relatives.  Also, you need to factor in your guests and whether they’ll be predominantly on beer, wine or spirits.  An estimate of 6-8 drinks per guests won’t be far off the mark (some will drink more, some less, but that’s a fair average).   It’s also reasonable to assume men will predominantly drink beer/lager/cider and the women wine (that may sound a bit sexist but it’s also probably quite accurate).  

If you are serving beer and wine only, and you have 100 guests then the following estimate is not unreasonable:

50 x 6 glasses of wine           =          50 bottles, have a mix between red/white/rose

25 x 6 bottles of lager/beer/cider           =          150 bottles of beer

25 x 6 pints of lager/beer/cider               =          2 x 11 gallon (88 pints) of

If you offer a full bar selection it’s more complicated.  This is a guesstimated based on 100 guests.

Vodka                        6 litres

Gin                             5 litres

Whiskey                    2 litres

Scotch                        2 litres

Real ale                      1 keg (88 pints)

Lager                          150 bottles

Cola                            10 x 2 litre bottles

Diet-cola                    10 x 2 litre bottles

Lemonade                  10 x 2 litre bottles

Tonic                            1 case

Apple/Orange Juice 15 cartons of each

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‍We’re here to help

As you can see from this post the whole subject of drinks can get pretty complicated.  It’s definitely one area where it pays to get some sober advice from people who cater from weddings on a regular basis.  We’ve got more than our fair share of experience in this department and are happy to share our knowledge for free - get in touch and save yourself the headache!