Trends, Tips, & Ideas For Your Next Big Event

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Do you really need to create a website for your wedding?  No, it’s not essential – for thousands of years people have managed to get married without a website.  However…..we’re now in a world where we seem to be living a lot of our life online.  We shop online, we play games online, we get our music and entertainment online, we socialise online, we work online and a lot of couples would never have got together if they hadn’t been dating online!  So it’s something you seriously need to consider – because a lot of your guests are going to expect it.

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It’s a good idea because:

·         It’s super helpful and useful.  A wedding website provides the perfect hub for information and a great space where everyone involved can “meet” in a single virtual space.  It makes the planning and communication so much easier because you can put all the important details up here so you are not constantly having to respond to questions over the phone or via email, text or other messaging apps.  With everything in one place there’s less chance of miscommunication and you can set up alerts to notify people of changes – saves contacting them all individually.

·         It’s not expensive.  There’s a huge range of website builders to choose from and there are even some platforms that are free.  NB we’ve not listed prices in this post as they may well change – you’ll have to visit each site to get current rates.

·         Most web builders allow you to personalise your site so it reflects the theme and colour scheme of your wedding.  You can add photos and a forum for your guests to chat on.  All in all it enables you to start building the excitement long before the big day.

·         It’s secure.  The web builder should enable you to password protect your site so access is only provided to those you select.

·         You can add all sorts of features that make managing your wedding much easier - set up your virtual wedding gift list, send out invitations and get RSVPs sent directly to the site.  You can also set up your table plan online. This keeps all your essential wedding information in one handy place without the need for a paper-based filing system.

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Do’s and Don’t’s

·         Do stick with your theme.  If your wedding is going to be a country chic style affair with a green and beige colour scheme and a rustic typeface then you want to carry that look through onto your website.  Likewise if you are creating a very formal black tie event your website should reflect that.  You are telling a story and setting a scene, so it all needs to be consistent or the spell will be broken and your guests will be confused – you don’t want them turning up in dinner jackets and cocktail dresses if you are expecting them in tweeds and floaty floral skirts!

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·         Do use a password so you keep the site private and secure.

·         Don’t use online RSVPs.  This feature might seem tempting but online RSVPs aren’t taken as seriously as paper cards, so it’s best to keep it formal. Also, some of your older or less tech-savvy guests may not be able to successfully RSVP online, meaning your count could be off or replies could be late.  Having said that it’s probably fine to use of online RSVPs for more casual gatherings like your morning-after brunch, where you’re looking for an estimated idea of numbers and not a formal RSVP.

·         Do provide detailed travel and destination information.  Whether your celebration is local or you’ve opted a distant destination wedding, there will be guests coming from far and wide so provide everything they need. Include a list of local hotels and B&B’s with their contact details, as well as a map and directions to the venue.  If you’ve made any special arrangements with accommodation providers or taxi be sure to add this information as well.  

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·         Don’t put details of invite-only events on the website.  Everyone on your guest list needs access to the website but there may be some exclusive gatherings, like a rehearsal dinner just for the wedding part or a bridesmaids-only luncheon, that not everyone is invited to attend.  Leave the details of these events off the site so you don’t make others feel left out.

·         Don’t forget to put a wedding timeline on the site.  It’s really helpful for people, especially those who are bringing kids or organising childcare, and for older guests who may only be attending for part of the day.

·         Don’t write a novel.  By all means you can give people a little background to you love story – how you met, how the relationship developed, how you got engaged.  You can also provide introductions to everyone in the wedding party and perhaps a quick overview of each bridesmaid and groomsman.  But keep everything short and sweet.

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Best wedding website builders

There are lots of great providers and templates to choose from.  This list is by no means exhaustive but you should probably check these ones out before making a decision.

·         Squarespace.  We use Squarespace for our website so it’s obviously a bit of a favourite with the team at Clevedon Hall.  It's probably the most professional-looking site you're going to get without hiring a designer and can customize pretty much every single element to create your own distinctive look and feel.  However, there are cheaper options.

·         Wix.  There’s a free version or a very cheap premium option.  The templates are modern, minimalist and chic.  You you can easily customize elements with a click-and-drag editor. But if you don't want a big Wix ad at the top of your site you're going to have to pay extra.

·         Joy.  Free version with a lot of extra features like a photo-streaming timeline and guest messaging. But your layout options are extremely limited - designs are primarily rustic and very floral.

·         The Knot.  This huge US based wedding directory provides a free wedding website builder service with 100+ designs.  It’s free and unlike most free options, you get your very own personalised URL. Your site will be mobile-friendly and you have the option to collect your guest photos from Facebook and Instagram.  

·         Appy Couple.   Extensive selection of beautiful templates and you can use the same style for things you want to print, like invitations, order of service and menus.  Not only stylish it's incredibly easy to use, entirely customisable, and has every kind of built-in feature you can think of.

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·         Riley & Grey.  Great for a couple who wants to invest in design and have a non-traditional website that stands out from the pack.  Not the quickest and easiest to set up.

·         Minted. Let’s you create something with a very unique feel, and enables you to match the look of the website to the invites and décor. But if you want practical features RSVP, a photo album and privacy controls, it's not your best option.

·         Weduary.  Very social media friendly. In addition to the usual features it offers the option to connect your guestlist to each other through Facebook. You can notify your guests via Facebook, they'll receive an email when they are invited to your wedding, you can keep up with RSVPs and it allows your guests to get to know each other before they meet on the day.

·         eWedding.  The themes are a little more traditional than other design-led sites but it does have good features - lots of customisation options, a relationship timeline, and a text RSVP tool.  It’s also less expensive than some of the other premium website builders.

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Got some more queries?

Hopefully that answers some of you wedding website questions but if you’d like any further input and advice just get in touch – the team at Clevedon Hall are here to help in any way we can.

In April, Amy and Karl started their journey into married life and we are so pleased to have been their at the start to celebrate such a special occasion. The day was captured by the brilliant Jodie Hurd. A truly amazing spring day for a fantastic couple finished with the couple’s choreographed first dance!

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First the good news: your mate has done you the honour of asking you to be his best man.  And now the bad news: you are responsible for giving him, and all his chums, the best time of their lives before he finally grows up and settles down.  What’s more you also have to make sure he’s still in one piece in time for the wedding and not in jail/hospital/the doghouse.  No pressure then!  In this post we share some “best practice” advice you should find helpful.

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Outline planning meeting

You need to have an initial discussion with the stag to see what kind of thing he has in mind.  It is advisable to do this over a beer in a pub – it’s a great excuse for a pint with a great mate so grab it with both hands!  First you need to sort out some possible dates (not too near to the wedding so there’s time for his eyebrows to grow back).

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Also, are we talking just one day and night, a weekend, or a long weekend.  What sort of event would he like and what kind of activities – is he thinking a wild weekend in Amsterdam, Prague or Dublin where the main activity will be drinking, or somewhere in the UK with a bit of paintballing, go carting or clay pigeon shooting?  One of the joys of a stag event is the element of surprise – so you’ll probably keep a few of your ideas up your sleeve.  

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You’ll need a list of people he’s planning to invite, with email addresses and phone numbers.

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Who’s up for it?

Fire off an email to everyone on the list to see who is keen to attend and check their availability.  You need to offer a selection of possible dates otherwise you’ll find a lot of people won’t be able to make it.  Word the invite so you get a clear commitment – you don’t want a load of “maybes” as this is going to make any further planning problematic and hold things up.

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Time and money

You need to be realistic about everyone’s availability and how much they are willing to spend.  Four days in Vegas may sound great but it’s not such a smart idea if few people can get the time off and have the cash.  As with the dates it may be best to offer a range of options and then see which one gets the most takers.  On the other hand don’t give too many choices as that could just make it more difficult to get something everyone can agree on.  

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Booking accommodation

Once you’ve decided on dates and a destination you’ll need to find somewhere to stay.  If you’re going abroad then a hotel is probably the easiest option – but if you are doing something like a golf weekend in the Algarve then a villa might work.  In the UK you might consider booking a country house, camping or even a boat on the Thames.  

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One thing to bear in mind is that some people may have to drop out nearer the time.  In this situation it’s easier to reduce the number of hotel rooms than it is to ask the whole group to contribute more towards a 14 bed cottage when only 10 can attend come final payment.

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Fun and games

Stag parties are not just about drinking, drinking and more drinking – they usually include some other form of activity as well.  You need to consider what is likely to appeal to the group.  There’s no sense in going potholing, white water rafting or bungee jumping if that kind of adventure leaves everyone cold.  Similarly, if most of them have been Zorbing on a previous stag do then they may not be keen to do it again.

Dressing up

Dressing the stag in a mankini, a gayest-man-in-the-village outfit or a blow up willy costume can be embarrassing and fun – the more embarrassing the more fun (especially the more everyone has had to drink).  

The rest of the group may want to join in by wearing something almost as silly, like matching T shirts with some non-PC image or message.  It’s all part of the male bonding ritual and you’ll need to discuss ideas with the rest of the group – hopefully over a few pints.

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Dares, forfeits and other silly stuff

No stag party is complete with games, pranks and challenges to keep everyone amused (and suitably inebriated).  For example, the good old Toy Soldier routine: each stag is given a toy soldier at the start of the proceedings.  Then, whenever the best man shouts ‘assume the position’, all stags have to get into the same position as their toy soldier. The last man to get into position will face a forfeit.

There’s no shortage of crazy, daft, embarrassing and hilarious (when you are well on the way to a hangover) options, from Mr President to left hand drinking, Pub Golf to Shark Attack (just do an online search).  You just have to work out which ones you’ll be playing and what forfeits the unfortunate losers must accept.

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Money up front

Stag parties can get expensive and it’s easy to lose the plot (that’s the whole point, surely?).  As best man you’d be ill advised to pay for everything yourself then try to collect the money from everyone else later – that could lead to some awkward conversations and someone being left out of pocket.  Get everyone to pay their share as they go in terms of things like flights and accommodation.  Then have some kind of float that everyone pays into for drinks and expenses on the day/night.  

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Check with the club

If you plan to end up at a particular pub or bar it’s smart to warn them in advance – you don’t want to be turned away at the door.  Sell it to them on the basis that you’ll hugely increase their takings for that night!

Need more help or ideas?

The team at Clevedon Hall have hosted a lot of weddings and we have plenty of Stag Party advice we can share.  Give us a call and we’ll happily answer any questions you may have.

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Your wedding is almost certainly the biggest party you are going to throw in your entire lifetime – and that means organising, and paying for, large quantities of alcohol.  Running out of booze is not going to go down well.  But by the same token you don’t want to go overboard and give yourself a nasty financial hangover.  In this post we share a few tips you might find helpful.

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Who is providing the bar?

If you are booking a venue like Clevedon Hall then things are much simpler – there’s a bar already set up and there’s will be a team who can advise you on how best to play things.  However, if you are holding your celebration in a marquee in the middle of a field, a collection of yurts way off the beaten track or you’re lucky enough to have parents with an enormous garden, then there’s a lot more you need to think about and organise.  Either way you are almost certainly going to have some kind of bar arrangement, probably with a bartender or two to run the show, mix cocktails and generally make things run smoothly.  

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Whose round is it anyway?

Inviting guests to your wedding then asking them to pay for all the drinks is an absolute no-no!   But you have, broadly speaking, three options as far as the bar is concerned.

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Open Bar

This means the drinks are all free, all day and all night.  It’s a simple arrangement, but the most expensive one.  There’s no money changing hands which makes everything much quicker and easier.  Plus, if you holding your wedding in a venue or setting that does not have a drinks licence, you won’t have to apply for a Temporary Events Notice.

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Cash Bar

You provide some of the drinks (champagne for toasts and wine with the meal) but have a bar, with staff, and ask guests to pay for their drinks as the consume them.  This is going to save you a lot of money, but will may lead to a few grumbles.  Some people consider that a cash bar at a wedding is acceptable, but others feel it’s a bit stingy and tacky.  If you do gown this route warn people in advance.  Saving money is not the only positive – guests are less likely to get legless and spoil the proceedings!
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Limited Bar

The bride and groom pay for all of the alcohol but there’s only a limited selection on offer.  For instance, champagne for the toasts, beer and wine throughout and a signature cocktail or two.

Another variation is to have a fully stocked bar but the bride and groom put a sum of money on a tab.   Once that pre-paid amount has been consumed guests are asked to pay – a kind of “happy hour” approach.  

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Corkage

If you book a wedding venue they will almost certainly provide all the drinks.  However, another option is to buy the drinks in bulk and ask the venue to serve it.  Although this looks like a cheaper option they will charge you what’s known as “corkage”.  This is a service charge for opening and serving bottles of wine, sparkling wine, champagne and even spirits that are bought externally by customers with the intention of consuming them on site.  These charges vary from venue to venue so make sure you check this in advance.  You’ll then need to do plenty of research, and get your calculator out, to decide whether there’s enough of a saving to go to all the effort of sourcing your own champagne, wines, beers and spirits.  

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Quantities

If you are having a marquee wedding, or decide to buy your own and pay the corkage corkage, you are going to have to make some decisions regarding quantities.  First of all you need to know the number of guests.  Then you need to guesstimate how many are heavy drinkers, how many are light drinkers and how many are teetotal.  

It also helps to know how many glasses you get from different bottles and kegs:

1 bottle of 75cl wine              = 6 x 125ml glasses or 3 x 250ml

1 bottle of champagne           = 6 x flute glasses

11 gallon keg                           = 88 pints

4.4 gallon polypin                     = 35 pints

1 litre bottle of spirit             = 40 x 25ml measures

1 litre pimms                           = 20 x 50ml measures (mix with 100ml lemonade)

2 litre lemonade                      = 20 x 100ml measures (ideal for pimms)

When making your final calculations it probably helps to divide the day up into sections.  
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Reception

Allow three drinks per guest for a drinks reception lasting 1.5 hours.  Use the table above and do the maths!  
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Meal

For the meal you’ll need Champagne/Prosecco Toasts, 6 flutes to a bottle.  You’ll need wine to drink with the food and usually a 50/50 split between red and white works.  You get approximately 6 small glasses per bottle and work on the average guest consuming half a bottle.  If you are offering bottled water, assume guests will want 1 x 250ml glass each, which means1 bottle will serve about 3 guests.  Best to have a mix between still and sparkling.

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Evening bar

You can safely assume your bar will be open for four hours and that not everyone will be drinking the whole time – some will be dancing, eating or leave early with kids or elderly relatives.  Also, you need to factor in your guests and whether they’ll be predominantly on beer, wine or spirits.  An estimate of 6-8 drinks per guests won’t be far off the mark (some will drink more, some less, but that’s a fair average).   It’s also reasonable to assume men will predominantly drink beer/lager/cider and the women wine (that may sound a bit sexist but it’s also probably quite accurate).  

If you are serving beer and wine only, and you have 100 guests then the following estimate is not unreasonable:

50 x 6 glasses of wine           =          50 bottles, have a mix between red/white/rose

25 x 6 bottles of lager/beer/cider           =          150 bottles of beer

25 x 6 pints of lager/beer/cider               =          2 x 11 gallon (88 pints) of

If you offer a full bar selection it’s more complicated.  This is a guesstimated based on 100 guests.

Vodka                        6 litres

Gin                             5 litres

Whiskey                    2 litres

Scotch                        2 litres

Real ale                      1 keg (88 pints)

Lager                          150 bottles

Cola                            10 x 2 litre bottles

Diet-cola                    10 x 2 litre bottles

Lemonade                  10 x 2 litre bottles

Tonic                            1 case

Apple/Orange Juice 15 cartons of each

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‍We’re here to help

As you can see from this post the whole subject of drinks can get pretty complicated.  It’s definitely one area where it pays to get some sober advice from people who cater from weddings on a regular basis.  We’ve got more than our fair share of experience in this department and are happy to share our knowledge for free - get in touch and save yourself the headache!

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As the days get longer and the sun shines brighter our thoughts turn to summer     weddings.  It’s the most popular season for tying the knot – and for good reason.  There’s nothing more idyllic than celebrating your nuptials on a balmy day with warm weather, a gorgeous sunset and a warm starry night.  

Having said that, there are a few potential downsides. Great weather is not guaranteed.  Being Britain, it could rain, blow a gale or be blisteringly hot (and quite possibly all on the same day!).  And since guests will probably in attendance at several “I do” events this season you have to make sure yours stands out.

So how do you host the ultimate summer bash that gets it exactly right, come what may?  In this post we give you some top tips that will help you make your big day a roaring summer success.

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Venue, Venue, Venue

You need a venue that can handle whatever kind of weather you get on the day.  Somewhere that enables you to make the most of the sunshine and outdoors if it turns out fine.  But with ample indoor spaces if it decides to rain or guests are desperate for some shade – there’s nothing worse than being cooped up in marquee in a monsoon or sweltering under an unrelenting sun that threatens everyone with heatstroke!

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Forgive us for this blatant piece of self-promotion but Clevedon Hall is a great example of what you need to look for in a summer wedding venue.  You can have a comfortable wedding breakfast for up to 150 guests in the library.  The adjoining orangery is ideal for afternoon team and provides a lovely sunny space that’s part indoors part outdoors – the best of both worlds.  

Our outside gazebo is fully licensed and we can be very flexible on whether to hold an indoor or outdoor ceremony up to the morning of the wedding.  The terrace is perfect for socialising with drinks, nibbles al fresco feasting or a barbecue.  There are acres of beautiful lawns for kids (and adults!) to run wild or play games.  The house, the lake and grounds offer a host of stunning settings for photographs and videos.  You can even have fireworks!

If a venue does not tick all these boxes you may look back later and regret it.

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Book early

Summer is the wedding season so venues get booked up way ahead of time – especially those, like Clevedon Hall, that are so appropriate for your big day in the sun.  

People get booked up too.  School and university is out and families have holidays organised, parties to attend and other weddings invites.  So if you want to get married in the summer months you need to plan well in advance and let your guests know the date at the earliest opportunity.  

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Food for thought

Heavy food and heat don't mix so for a summer wedding you’d be well advised to pick a light and refreshing dinner menu.  There's a time and place for a heavy, decadent five-course meal – but this is not it!  Fill people up with rich and hearty dishes and they’ll soon become sluggish, especially if the weather is hot.

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Stick to something like simple grilled fish or chicken, a fresh salad and seasonal vegetables.  Gazpacho shooters and grilled fruit skewers make tempting appetizers, while for dessert you might consider fruit pies or tarts in lieu of (or in addition to) cake. Frozen cocktails such as mint, cucumber or watermelon are a great idea too.

Offer Refreshing Cocktails and Wine - nobody wants to sip a tepid cocktail or heavy red wine during the heat of summer. Chilled white or rosé wine or a bright signature cocktail will keep guests cool and refreshed.    You may even want to set up a ‘pimp your prosecco’ station.  All the rage at the moment they’re a fun and creative way for guests to enjoy one of the nation’s favourite drinks with lots of tempting extras like fresh herbs, berries, cordials, petals and fruit.  

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Wear something cool and breathable  

You want to feel comfortable and confident—not stifling and sticky.  We suggest a wedding dress made of light fabric that breathes, such as silk. You might also go for a shorter skirt if you're feeling modern and adventurous. If you can't resist the heavy traditional ball gown, wear it during the ceremony, then change into a lightweight sheath or cocktail dress for dancing.  Grooms will look dapper in a fair-toned suit (think: light gray or beige), a crisp linen suit or, for the ultimate beach-casual look, khakis and a button-down.

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Choose flowers that hold up in the heat

You'll want to talk to your florist about heat-resistant blooms that won't wilt in high temperatures. Trendy succulents are an ideal, statement-making option that can withstand even the steamiest of wedding days. Also, as a rule of thumb, hydrangeas will wither in heat, while tropical blooms like lilies, orchids, or fluffy flowers like garden roses or sunflowers can handle warmer weather.

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Anything else you want to know about summer weddings?

The team at Clevedon Hall have planned and hosted a huge number of wonderful summer weddings - so if you have a question or need some free advice don’t be shy about asking!

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No matter how carefully you plan and budget for your big day there’s bound to be a few unexpected things you have to shell out for.  In this post we list a few of them so that they don’t come as a total surprise!

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Hair and beauty

You obviously want to look your absolute best and that means getting your hair and makeup perfect.  If you go for a package then trials might be included in the cost – but that may not be the case.  Professional stylists will usually recommend at least one trial to create exactly the right look for your big day and some brides may have more than one trial and try more than one artist.  The cost of these can swiftly add up, so factor the cost in.  A useful tip is to have images ready to show your stylist and a clear idea of what you want before you go in for a trial.

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Last minute treatments

Don’t forget facials, eyebrows and manicures (and maybe for your bridesmaids too).   There’s a long list of beauty treatments and pampering treats that the bride and her bridal party can enjoy a few days before the wedding.  The feel-good factor is terrific but can come with a hefty price tag - so ensure you are in a comfortable position to pay for the privilege before you book your appointments.

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Ceremony fees

Whether you're having a religious, civil or humanist ceremony, there are sure to be fees involved.  These costs won’t be included with your venue fees, even if you're holding the ceremony in the same place as your wedding reception. Your ceremony fees will be paid to the church, registration service or independent celebrant.

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Don’t overlook the underwear

Having the right wedding underwear is more important than you might expect.  It’s essential to get the proper shape and support under your wedding dress to achieve a comfortable fit and a seamless finish.  And let’s face it, if you're splashing out on a beautiful bridal gown, then why not have beautiful bridal underwear to match?  Then you might want to change into a less formal gown for the reception – and underwear that’s more sexy for your wedding night.  The correct underwear need not be expensive, but it is an additional cost that should be factored in to your entire bridal ensemble.

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Accessorize

There’s more to wedding day fashion than your dress - bridal accessories can make all the difference, adding the wow factor in more ways than one.  Consider jewellery, hairpieces and shoes when finalising your bridal look and tot up these costs for inclusion in the final budget. Likewise, for the groom and groomsmen you need to think cufflinks, pocket watches, ties/bow ties, pocket squares, shoes and socks.  All these items soon add up but by the same token its these little details that turn great into amazing.

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Extra mouths to feed

When you draw up your wedding guest list and work out how many you’ll need to cater for it’ss easy to forget about those wedding suppliers.  Photographers, videographers and entertainers are usually on hand all day, or at least for a substantial part of it, and they may need refreshments too.  Be sure to ask them and be prepared to pay the costs of their food and drink.

You may need to provide extra catering for your bridal party.  If everyone has an early breakfast, and the ceremony and celebrations are scheduled for the afternoon, there may be a bunch of very hungry people around lunchtime!  Your venue may supply platters of sandwiches, as well as teas and coffees, as you get ready – but this may not be included in your package costs.

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Corkage

If you want to order the wine yourself you’ll probably find that the venue charges you a fee per bottle (known as “corkage”).  The exact arrangement and costs are usually discussed with your venue in the process of making your booking.  Be sure to find out what the exact charge is before you decide whether to provide the wine yourself or get the venue to supply it.

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Postage

You’ve designed your invitations, sorted the printing, written in the names and addresses beautifully…but what about the stamps?  You budgeted for stationery but you probably forgot to add in the postage.   It won’t break the bank but it will tip you nearer towards the red.

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Gifts for the bridal party

Your bridesmaids and groomsmen have been working hard with all the preparations for months, as well as being wonderful on the day.  Giving them a little something to say “thank you” is a nice gesture.  A little piece of jewellery is sure to be popular with the girls while fancy hip flasks and cufflinks always go down well with the boys.

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Thank you cards

Once all the excitement has died down and you’ve recovered from your honeymoon you’ll want to thank all your guests for joining you on your special day.  If you’ve gone for a bespoke stationery package you can get some 'Thank You' notes printed as part of the deal.  Or you can buy them separately on the high street or online.  Either way you’ll need to take account of the cost and add in the postage too.

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Here to help, any way we can

Hopefully this list will help you avoid the most commonly overlooked costs that tend to nudge the best laid plans over budget.  If you have any other questions about anything else weddings don’t hesitate to ask us – the team here is only too happy to help!

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A Bridezilla is a woman whose behaviour in planning the details of her wedding becomes obsessive or intolerably demanding.  It’s not something you want to be accused of becoming!   But you do want your big day to be your way.  Brides have to tread a fine line between being a monster and a pushover!  There are no easy answers but in this post we explore some of the issues.

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Where did the Bridezilla label come from?

“Bridezilla” made her first appearance in 1995 with an article by Boston Globe writer Diane White.  The term caught on in 2004 thanks to the reality show of the same name.  More show in similar vein have followed and plenty of movies have played on the same theme -  “Bride Wars,” tells the tale of how Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson trashed their lifelong friendship when their weddings are accidentally booked on the same day at the same hotel.

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Real life Bridezilla stories

There’s no shortage of Bridezilla stories that go viral.  Like the bride who asked guests to pay a $1,500 entrance fee and then cancelling both wedding and marriage when they refused.  Or the one who told her naturally ginger haired bridesmaid to dye it a colour that was less “attention-grabbing” and more cohesive with the other bridesmaids (but she did offer to pay for the hairdresser).  

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An especially scary bride sent an email insisting her bridesmaids attend 'weigh-ins', while those skinnier than her had to go on 'protein weight gainer diets'.  She also demanded 'strict bedtimes' to avoid 'saggy baggy eyes', and any hair colouring or cutting plans to being submitted to the bride for pre-approval.  One bridesmaid dared to get her hair cut without asking permission. She was called a 'bad little bee' and banished from the bridal party.

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In fairness to brides

Badly behaved brides are horrifically amusing.  But it’s all too easy to label someone a Bridezilla when they are just trying their best to create that special once-in-a-lifetime day of their dreams.  And if the charge is levelled at you it’s hard to defend yourself.  So, let’s try and get a bit of perspective here – and cut the bride some slack.

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The bride is the default wedding planner – most of the responsibilities fall on her shoulders.  But let’s remind ourselves that she’s not a professional who does this over and again.  This is probably her first time so she’s bound to find it hard.  Plus a wedding planner can stand back and avoid getting emotionally involved.  It’s impossible for the bride to do that – if she’s not emotionally involved, to the max, she shouldn’t be going ahead with it!

Look at the demands being made on her.  She has so much to think about and so many decisions to make – budget, venue, timings, dress, guest list, food and drinks, music and entertainment, bridesmaids dresses, cake, invitations, theme and decorations…it’s never ending!  She has a huge group of very different friends and relatives to organise, each with their own particular tastes, opinions, expectations, ego, likes, dislikes and “issues”.  Keeping that lot happy, and not upsetting anyone along the way…good luck with that one!  Quite apart from looking beautiful on the day and conducting yourself with perfect grace.  Finally, while attempting the impossible, you are expected to make the whole thing look easy and effortless.  No pressure then!

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You can also give us a call.  We’ve helped so many different brides over the last few years that whatever your question, challenge or worry we can probably offer some help.  Just give us a call!

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Sorting the music is probably not at the top of your to do list but it does need some serious thought.  The right band or DJ can really get everyone up and having a great time but the wrong one can have your guests heading for the door.  Getting it right actually takes a bit of hard work on your part and, like so much else, is a bit more complicated than you might first imagine.  In this post we highlight some of the main do’s and don’ts.

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Setting the mood

You need to consider the style of your wedding and the kind of atmosphere you’d like to create.  For instance, if you are having the reception in a rustic barn and the style is Boho and whimsical you’ll want the music to reflect this – something folky, hippish or even a ceilidh band.  Here are some ideas:

Formal: Jazz band, string quartet, classical ensemble, solo or duo guitar, singer or choir, piper

Traditional: Irish band, ceilidh band, bag pipes, classical ensemble, singers or choir

Fun and dancy: Rock & pop covers band, soul & R&B band, rock n' roll or swing jive band, tribute band, 70's disco or funk band, Latin & salsa bands

Light background music: Jazz band, classical ensemble, solo or duo guitar, vocal guitar/piano duo

Something different: Steel band, Irish band, Latin & salsa band, swing jive band, world music ensemble, interesting tribute artist, barber shop quartet

Smooth & sophisticated: Jazz band, swing jive band, latin & salsa band, classical ensemble, piano and violin/sax

Formal: Jazz band, string quartet, classical ensemble, solo or duo guitar, singer or choir, piper

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Consider your guests

When selecting your band or DJ you will also need to give some thought to the tastes of your guests, their age group and whether or not they will want to dance or listen.  Some bands can be quite loud and it is well worth taking the trouble to ask your friends and family what they'd like.

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Check with the venue

If you want a live band make sure your venue permits this – most have no problem, but it’s worth checking.  Also, consider the size of the room and the area the band will be playing in to ensure everything is going to work.  

Also discuss with the venue if there are any restrictions on arrival and set up times for the band.  Also make sure there are no issues with sound levels.  At Clevedon Hall this is not a problem as you have exclusive use of the property – but many venues host several events on the same night so there can be issues with sound levels and timings.

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Think budget

The DJ option will almost certainly be less costly but if you have your heart set on live music then it rather depends on things like the number of musicians, how well established they are, length of performance

Band fees vary considerably depending on the style of music, how many musicians will be playing, how successful they are and how long you want them to play for.  A good string quartet might cost you £500-£700, a decent tribute band could set you back £700-£1800, a jazz band can vary from £550 for a duo or trio to £1500 for 8 or more musicians, while you’d expect to pay £900 - £1700 for a pop rock band.  

Just to put that in context, Elton John has charged £1.5 million to play at a wedding, Mariah Carey will set you back about £2.5 million and the Rolling Stones won’t rock up for less than £5 million.

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Sound check

Make sure you see your band or DJ perform before you make your final decision.  They might give you a CD or video but you need to get a real feel for the way they work the crowd.  Also, make sure the line-up on the CD or video is the one that’s going to turn up for your big day!

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Plan ahead

Don’t leave it until the last minute to book your band or DJ.  Good quality wedding entertainers will be booked up around a year in advance, especially during high wedding season.  As soon as you’ve paid a deposit for the venue start to do some serious research.

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Work out a song schedule

You’ll want to choose specific songs for significant parts of your reception.  Think about the song you want for cutting the cake, the first dance, the father daughter dance, and the mother son dance.  Make sure the band or DJ knows what songs you have chosen and ask them to introduce each event before playing the tune.  

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You’ll also want to think about alter the music to speed up or slow down the tempo of your reception.  For instance, upbeat swing music for your drinks reception, followed by instrumental classical music or jazz for your wedding breakfast, and finally a full-on disco for the dancing – the important thing is to work out a plan in advance with your entertainers.  

Having said that don’t be too prescriptive and give an entire playlist for the whole event that they must stick to.  Give them the freedom to read the crowd and use their creativity to keep the party swinging.  With a DJ it is, however, a good idea to provide a list of songs you’d love to hear, as well as do-not-play list.

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Final note  

If you want any further advice about DJs, bands or anything else “music” the team at Clevedon Hall are happy to help - we’ve seen (and heard!) a lot of weddings and are happy to share our experience.

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In our previous post we offered up some words of advice for the Mother of the Bride on how to play a difficult role to perfection.  In this one we cover the same ground, but from a different angle – the bride’s perspective.  How to keep your mum sweet, without letting her take over completely!

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Set the ground rules early on  

Make it clear how much help you want, and where.  Likewise, tell her where you don’t want input and advice.  It’s probably a good idea to give her responsibility for certain aspects of organising your big day, like the flowers, the cake or the RSVPs.  That way she’ll feel special and involved, but you’ll keep her busy enough so she doesn’t start taking charge of more major issues.  Here’s a list of things that you may want her help with:

·         Announcing the engagement to the press, locally and nationally

·         Working with the bride and groom to draw up the guest list

·         Ordering the stationery and chasing it up

·         Sending out the invites and keeping an eye on acceptances and regrets

·         Supplying the wedding gift details to anyone who asks for them

·         Helping to organise the seating plan

·         Help you to choose your wedding dress and the bridesmaids’ dresses

·         Ordering the wedding cake

·         Arranging table decorations

·         Making sure all of the guests have got somewhere to stay that night

·         Help you to get dressed and ready on the morning of the wedding

·         Give the order of service sheets to the ushers

·         Organising the buttonholes for key members of the wedding party, including the ushers, best man, the bridegroom, and the two dads

·         Look after the gifts during and after the wedding. This includes finding a safe place to store them during the day

·         Collect the photo proofs from the photographer while you are away on your honeymoon!

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Don’t ask her to do too much

Of course your mum is happy to help – but don’t take that help for granted.  Ask her nicely, and don’t give her too much work.  She’s your mum, not your slave!

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Dress shopping – together

Your mum will almost certainly want to be involved when you start buying your dress.  She’ll probably be offended if you don’t at least give her the opportunity to get involved.  You should also go shopping with her to help choose a mother of the bride dress and hat.  It’s your day, but her day too – she’ll want to look and feel her best.  

Don’t assume your mum will only feel comfortable in a classic mother of the bride outfit – a trouser suit or non-traditional dress is a great option, too.

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Play go-between

Get the conversation going between your mum and your fiancé's mother.  Suggest going out for a meal together so they can get to know each other a little better. Also be sure they talk to each other about their wedding outfits so they don't clash or look the same!

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Invite your mum to the hen party?

That rather depends of what kind of party you have planned and whether you think it’s appropriate to have her there.  Maybe just have her there for a few drinks at the start.  Or perhaps you can organise two events – a mum-friendly one and a racier one that she doesn’t attend.  

If you are planning a relatively civilized affair then she’d probably love to come along and meet your friends.  If you are hell-bent on a boozy weekend in Dublin or Prague, with male strippers and raunchy fun and games, then including your mum is probably not the best idea.

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On the day

Enlist her as your extra bridesmaid on the morning of the wedding. Don’t leave her feeling left out as you sip bubbles and get pampered.   You could maybe get the hair stylist and make up artist to fit her in too.  She should be the one who does the back of your dress up and hands you to your father for the trip down the aisle.

Don’t forget to have some photos with just you and your mum. Let your wedding photographer know in advance that this is an important shot to take. It will make for the perfect keepsake or present for your mum once the day is over.

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Don’t forget to thank her

If you plan to make a speech be sure to say a few words about your mum.  Likewise, she might want the opportunity to say a few words herself - in which case invite her to do so (but give her plenty of warning!).

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It’s also a nice touch to give her a present as a token of appreciation for all the hard work and emotional support she provided (not just in planning your wedding but from the day you were born!).  You can give her this on the eve of the wedding, in the speeches or the day afterwards – just make sure you make the effort.

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You can pick our brains any time you’d like

Planning a wedding can be a bit of a minefield for brides and mums.  While we’re not trained relationship counsellors the team at Clevedon Hall do have a lot of useful tips and ideas when it comes to making things run smoothly – all you have to do is ask!

In September Nina and Toine brought together a beautiful Irish wedding with us and the brilliant FareLight Weddings were able to capture it perfectly.

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After the first rush of excitement that comes with getting engaged, and as you start to plan your big day, what began with falling head over heels in love can start to feel like more of a project management exercise!  We’re writing this with Valentine’s Day just around the corner - so it seems timely to remind everyone that it’s important not to lose sight of what brought you together in the first place.

To help you, and your guests, focus on what really matters we’ve collected up some swoon-worthy quotes to ramp up the romance.  They can also act as inspiration for your vows, speeches, on invitations and stationery wedding signs.

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"You make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way."   Chandler proposing to Monica on Friends

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."   Dr. Seuss

"In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine."   Maya Angelou

"What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life—to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?"   George Eliot

"To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything."  T. Tolis

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."  Victor Hugo

"Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it."  Nicholas Sparks,

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"He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began." Leo Tolstoy

"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home."  Stephanie Perkins,

"To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness."  Robert Brault

"Marriage flourishes when the couple works together as a team: when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score. Good marriages don't just happen. They are a product of hard work." —Michelle Obama

“If I get married, I want to be very married.”  Audrey Hepburn

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"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me."   Roy Croft

“Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.”   John Keats

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”   Paul McCartney

"Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century."   Mark Twain

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love."   Sophocles

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire."  Jeremy Taylor

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"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you ... I could walk through my garden forever."  Alfred Tennyson

When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement and acceptance."  John Lennon

Final word

We hope that one, or more, of these quotations strikes a chord with you and your fiancé.  Keep them in mind as you plan for your big day and if you need any help or advice with the practicalities just give us a call – we’re more than happy to share our experience.    

Continuing the theme of our previous post we’re going to keep the focus on romance – and the importance of keeping it alive during the sometimes stressful process of planning your wedding.  Given that it’s Valentine’s Day in a few days we thought this was appropriate!

While you’ll probably want to go out for a candlelit dinner on the 14th there’s nothing to say you can’t have a few other romantic evenings over the course of the month (and for as long, and as often, as you’d like).  One option is to curl up together on the sofa, with a bottle of wine, and watch a passionate, tender and warm-hearted movie all about love.  So, with that in mind, here’s a list of films that tick the right boxes for romance (we’ve tried to avoid the most obvious recent releases like A Star is Born or La la Land and gone for a few titles that are a little more off-beat).

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The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The wallflower of the title is socially awkward teen Charlie (Logan Lerman) who suddenly finds himself plucked from the sidelines and dragged into the hurly burly of high school by free-spirited Sam (Emma Watson) and her stepbrother Patrick (Ezra Miller).  It’s a bitter-sweet coming of age story where hopes and fears, friendship and betrayal, attraction and rejection become painfully entwined.   Love blossoms but its course does not run smooth.

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One Day

After a brief romance at college Emma (Anne Hathaway) and Dexter (Jim Sturgess) go their separate ways.  However, each year they meet up on the same day to compare their progress in life and love.  In many ways they’re thoroughly unsuited – she’s a working class idealist who wants to make the world a better place while he’s a wealthy charmer who treats the world as his playground.  The “will they, won’t they?” drama keeps you hooked and is good for a fair few tears and laughs.  It all turns out for the best in the end…or does it?

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The Graduate

A classic film from 1968 that captured the younger generation’s  sense of disillusionment with the world of their parents.  Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman in his breakthrough role) is a star student who returns home from college bored, confused and alienated.   He awkwardly drifts from moment to moment, in constant turmoil over his lack of direction and the uncertain, impending future.   Seduced by Mrs Robinson, the wife of his father’s business partner, his state of mind takes a turn for the worse.   When he then falls in love with her daughter things get even more complicated.  Don’t miss the wedding scene at the end!

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Doctor Zhivago

Not quite as epic as War & Peace, but close.  Set against the backdrop of the Russian Revolution and the sweeping expanse of the steppes, it’s the story of Yuri Zhivago (Omar Sharif), a young doctor who has been raised by his aunt and uncle following his father's suicide. Yuri falls in love with beautiful Lara Guishar (Julie Christie), who has been having an affair with her mother's lover, Victor Komarovsky (Rod Steiger), an unscrupulous businessman. Yuri, however, ends up marrying his cousin.  But when he and Lara meet again years later, the spark of love reignites.  The eighth-highest-grossing film of all time in Canada and the US…for good reason - they don’t come much more romantic than this.  A weepie if ever there was one.

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Amelie

Amelie Poulain (played by Audrey Tatou), an innocent and naive girl, may live in Paris but she has retreated into a fantasy world of her own. Working as a waitress in a  café her life is pretty uneventful until a chain of extraordinary events leads her to find a tin box containing a schoolboy’s long forgotten mementos.  Amelie discovers her true vocation in life is helping others find love and happiness which she sets about in her own unique and magical way.   A movie that is very quirky, french and adorable.

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The Princess Bride

A delightful fairy tale that has everything you could wish for in a feel-good rom-com.   While home sick in bed, a young boy's grandfather reads him the story of a farmboy-turned-pirate who encounters numerous obstacles, enemies and allies in his quest to be reunited with his true love.  Bags of swashbuckling, romance, and comedy that takes an age-old damsel-in-distress story and gives it a fresh twist.  

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So, six acclaimed movies guaranteed to get you in the mood for romance.  Perfect for those long cold February nights when you just want to curl up with your fiance and lose yourself in  love.  If you have a particular favourite then just let us know and we’ll share it with our other readers.  And if you want some more practical and down to earth advice about planning your big day just get in touch - we’ll be happy to help.  In the meantime enjoy the movies and have a great Valentine’s Day.

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The first few days of a new year can be a bit of a downer - an anti-climax after all the festivities.  It’s the same with a wedding.  Months of planning and preparation, anticipation then celebration…followed by a return to reality and routine.  So we thought we’d pick up on the similarities and kick off 2019 with a post about how to cope with the glumness that can set in after your big day.

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Prepare yourself

Expect to feel worn out, emotionally drained and a bit down in the dumps – you wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t!  Accept the fact that that after all the excitement and fun of your big day you are bound to come down to earth at some time with a bit of a bump.

How long before you come out of the slump?  Everyone is different so the length of time is going to vary from one person to the next.  It might just take you a couple of days to bounce back, but don’t be surprised if your recovery requires a couple of weeks.

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No regrets

It’s inevitable that you’ll look back and wish, with hindsight, you’d done some things differently.  But don’t dwell on them – focus on the good stuff.  Also, remember that the end of your wedding is the start of a new life.  Shift your thinking to how you can make the best of your marriage and to planning your life with your partner.  One you start to get excited about that the feelings of anti-climax that follow the wedding will soon disappear.

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Go minimoon

Going on honeymoon straight from your big day prolongs the feelings of euphoria and excitement.  But it may just postpone the inevitable back-to-earth bump.  Many couples, rather than heading straight to the airport the morning after their big day, take a short break closer to home.  That means less travelling and less expense, more time and opportunity to wind down, cuddle up and enjoy a few days and nights of chilled out romance.  It makes the process of returning home, and to normality, more gentle and manageable.

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Honeymoon soon

The other great thing about taking a minimoon is that you can still take a honeymoon – but just a bit later.  Delaying your dream honeymoon even by just a few months can keep the excitement of your wedding going which in turn keeps the post-wedding blues at bay. You’ll have something else amazing to look forward to after the wedding, and you’ll probably enjoy the run up more because you won’t be rushing about trying to put a wedding together and pack the hottest honeymoon outfits at the same time.

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Every day romance

Look for ways to make your new life together full of love and happiness.  Put in a little extra effort to turn an ordinary suppertime into a romantic dinner for two – wine, candles and maybe an indulgent dessert.  

Also, be sure to plan regular date nights where you go out as a couple for drinks, a meal, or to the cinema.  Spending quality time together and varying your usual routine will keep your relationship fresh and romantic, giving you plenty to look forward to once the big day has come and gone.  You could also set some bigger and longer term goals, not just for weekends away but for dream holidays, the kind of home you’d like to create and how your perfect lift would pan out.

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Stay social

When you were planning your wedding you probably spent a lot of time with your family and friends.  Why should that stop once you have tied the knot.  Of course you’ll want to create a new life together but the time together will be even sweeter if you still enjoy good times with your girlfriends and see family on a regular basis.  The more events you have to look forward to the less you’ll be looking back longingly at all the fun you had around your big day.  

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Money honey

One final thought, but something you need to keep in mind right from the start.  Agree on a sensible budget and stick to it.  Nothing will put more of a damper on your new life together than money worries.  So, work out what you can afford, plan accordingly, and don’t overstretch yourselves.  Better to keep some money back for an extra special minimoon and honeymoon than splurging it all on the big day itself.

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Got more questions?

The team here at Clevedon Hall have helped huge numbers of couples make a great success of their big day.  Whatever questions or issues you have in mind we’re only too happy to share our knowledge and experience, so just get in touch.

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First off – congratulations!  And enjoy the moment.  It’s a magical time so absolutely make the most of it.  But then, once your feet touch the ground again, you’ll realise that there are a few matters that need sorting, and soon.  In this post we share some thoughts that should help.

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Press pause

The temptation, in the initial rush of excitement, is to tell everyone….immediately.  It’s up to you, of course, but we’d suggest taking a deep breath.  Because the moment you break the news you’ll find the questions coming thick and fast.  Also, it might be better tell some people earlier than others, to avoid upsetting anyone.  How long do you wait?  Again, it’s up to you.  Keeping it as a secret, just between the two of you, is a feeling you might like to savour for a while.  It also gives you time to make some plans before you have to share them with others.

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Break the news

Your mum and dad (not forgetting your future in-laws) should probably be the first to know.  Followed by close family and best friends.  If the first the hear about your new status is from someone else, or an update on social media, they are unlikely to be best pleased.  Ideally break the news to them face to face, or give them a call.  Emailing or messaging them is a last resort if you fail on the other two options and you need to put them in the picture before someone else does.  Once you’ve informed your nearest and dearest you can take to social media.

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Get a manicure

Your hands will be in the spotlight for the next couple of weeks so get them in good shape.  A manicure is a good idea.   Or, if you're going for the natural look, make sure your nails are neat and clean.  You don’t want people focusing on your chipped polish or ragged cuticles rather than your gorgeous engagement ring.

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Selfie time

A picture is worth a thousand words – so when you are ready to share your big news with wide world you needs some shots of you and your ring, you and your fiancé.  And if the actual proposal was caught on film share that look of surprise!

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Party time

A celebration is called for.  Make that celebrations plural.  Start by round up some of your best friends and family for a celebratory drink.  Then maybe a bigger party a few weeks down the road.  Formal engagement parties were traditionally hosted by the bride’s parents.  Today many couples prefer the freedom of hosting their own event.  You could just could just put on a simple barbecue or host a more elaborate garden party, organise a glitzy evening of dinner and dancing in a country house or hire a room in a favourite restaurant or bar.  

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Pick a date

It’s one of the first questions you are going to be asked – so you’d better give it some thought.  You might want to discuss it with your close family and in-laws before you settle on sometime definite, just to be sure it fits in with their plans.  You don’t want to put anyone in an awkward position, and they’ll appreciate being consulted.

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Insure the ring

You probably heard the story of the recently engaged couple in New York and how the ring slipped off her finger then disappeared down a grating in Times Square.  There was a happy ending thanks to the NYPD but there’s a lesson to be learnt.  Insure it asap – adding it to your home contents policy is surprisingly easy and inexpensive.  

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Thinking a bit further ahead

You have a lot of planning ahead of you.  There’s no need to rush it but there are a few things you might want to start mulling over.  Getting some kind of budget in mind is a good place to start, along with the size and style of celebration you want.  After that you could turn your mind to numbers of guests, your list and looking for a venue.  Don’t be in too much of a hurry to make hard and fast decisions – take your time and keep your options open.  But by the same token there’s a lot to be said for a little thinking ahead.

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If you need us…

You have just started to embark on an exciting journey – and the expert team here at Clevedon Hall would love to help you along the way.  Whether you’re looking for practical advice, or inspirational ideas, all you have to do is ask!

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Let’s be frank – kid’s can make or break your wedding.  Nothing ruins the romance of the moment like a screaming baby, a stroppy toddler throwing a tantrum or a child loudly declaring they need a wee just at the moment you are about to say “I do”.  On the other hand they can look adorable, provide lots of fun and come out with magical one-liners that absolutely make your day.  In this post we share some tips on how best to ensure the little ones    don’t get out of hand.

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Invited or not?

It’s your day, so you can do it your way.  And every situation is different.  If you have your own children you’ll certainly want them there.  You’ll also probably want to include nieces and nephews.  Beyond that, however, you may not want to invite the offspring of other guests.  

Whatever you decide, make it clear on the invitation – but tactfully.  The tradition is that only those named on the invitation are invited.  But some people assume that includes their little darlings as well.  Printing “No Children” sets the wrong tone but "We're sorry, we can't accommodate children" is a more gentle way of saying the same.  If you receive a few personal requests you can respond with "I'm sorry, please don't take it personally, and please don't put us in a difficult position, but we’d rather…”

If you do want to invite children make it clear they are only welcome if well behaved.  Your invite could say "Children are welcome but if you'd prefer to be carefree and let your hair down, leave your little ones at home".  This will make the point that parents are responsible for supervision.

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Choose your venue with care

If you are going to have more than a couple of mini-guests then pick a venue that’s kid-friendly.  That means choosing one where you can have the ceremony and reception one the one site, to avoid tedious travel between one and the other.  Also, pick a venue where there’s ample outdoor space for youngsters to run around and let off steam.  

If the venue has a variety of rooms and flexible space that’s a plus too – maybe you want to have a kid’s room for playing and eating away from the grown-up goings on.  Another bonus is a venue with accommodation, so kids can have time out, a nap or head to bed early if the need arises.

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Share the schedule

Work out your running order then share it with parents so they know what’s happening when.  Spell out what is being provided for the kids in terms of entertainment, break out spaces, food and drink.  Also let the parents know what you have planned for the adults, with timings, so that they can make appropriate plans about how best to manage their offspring and are well prepared with snacks and distractions.

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Avoid distractions at the ceremony

Tears of joy are welcome from adults but not the angry sort from tantrum-throwing toddlers.  Whether the ceremony is in a church or in a civil setting you might want to have a separate room with toys and a child-minder.  Then let parents know well in advance that their offspring should be taken there if they can’t manage the ceremony.  If a parents is part of the ceremony, sit them at the front, but at the far end of the pew or row so they can evacuate in a hurry if needs be!

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Toys and treats

Provide plenty of distractions - think stickers, puzzles, crayons and colouring-in books.  Also encourage parents to bring favourite toys.  Games are good too, anything from dressing up in costumes to a bouncy castle, croquet to hopscotch and a treasure hunt to outdoor Jenga.  You could also ask Snapchat-fixated teenagers to live-blog your day.

Ideally you should choose a venue that has a room where you can create a family VIP area, with toys and board games at one end then rugs, cushions, books and Frozen playing on a loop at the other end.  That means kids can get away if they need their own space and parents have a calm and cosy place for feeding, naptime or talking down a tantrum.

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Hired help

If you are going to have a lot of smaller guests it might be worth organising a childminder for all or some of the time.  You could also consider hiring and entertainer to keep them amused - a balloon artist, a magician or a chocolate making maestro, for instance.  Having one person who is paid to keep the children amused can be worth their weight in gold.

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Let them eat cake

Giving children a smaller portion of fancy food is not always such a great idea.  And the formal sit-down dinner, with all those speeches, soon wears out the patience of even the most amenable child.  You might be better getting the venue team to hand out a lunchbox and theme it to your day - perhaps heart-shaped sandwiches and Hula Hoops, so even mini guests get a ring on their finger!   If you have a separate room for kids it might be smart to arrange for them to eat in there with plenty of things like jelly, cake and ice cream.  They’ll be happier that way – and so will you!

Teens may prefer to have their own table.  They may feel uncomfortable sat with parents or older relatives, but they will certainly not be impressed if you put them with the little ones.

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Give them a job to do

One way to head off boredom and misbehaviour is to get the kids involved in the proceedings.  Enlist them as flower girls, or page boys or just have them handing out confetti as the ceremony ends.

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Any other questions?

Hopefully this post has covered the main issues around mixing weddings and children.  However, if you have any other queries, or want to discuss some ideas, then please don’t hesitate to get in touch – our experienced team are only too happy to help in any way they can.