Trends, Tips, & Ideas For Your Next Big Event

As you plan your wedding you are bound to wonder “are we spending more, or less, than the average?”  Some other questions probably occur to you too – “how many guests is the norm?”, “are we older or younger than most couples tying the knot?”, “how many ceremonies and celebrations got postponed last year?” and “how unusual is it that we met through an online dating site?”  In this post we answer them all, plus some.  Because you need to know!

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Marriage is slowly going out of fashion

According to the office for National Statistics marriage rates in England and Wales have been slowly declining for years due to changing social attitudes. In 1990, 375,410 couples tied the knot, a number that fell to 271,668 in 2017.  They’ve gone on to hit a new low – the number of men and women getting married fell to 219,850.  However, during 2014-2015, marriage rates experienced a small rise.  How come?   Legalization of same-sex marriage.

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Why so many weddings right now?

The Covid pandemic obviously put a lot of weddings on hold.  Over 264,000 weddings were postponed in 2020.  This has created a huge backlog.  The UK Wedding Taskforce expects that wedding rates will increase by 205% in the year from July 2021 – June 2022, meaning that there will be a whopping 470,000 weddings in the UK in 2021 and 350,000 in 2022 (nearly 200,000 more weddings than in pre-pandemic years!).

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Get me to the church – not

Only one in five couples opt for a religious ceremony - in 2017 around 186.6 thousand civil ceremonies were conducted compared with around 48.2 thousand religious ones.

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Leaving it later

People are marrying later (and that’s not just down to Covid).  In 1972 the average age for men was 27.4 and 24.7.  In 2019 the average for men was 38.4 and 32.3 for women.

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Budget – are you frugal or extravagant?

Estimates vary, but according to the latest survey by Hitched magazine the average cost of a wedding is £17,300. This is up 90% from 2020, when the pandemic restrictions saw wedding spend drop to an average of just £9,100.  Their calculations, however, don’t take into account the cost of the engagement ring, and how much couples are planning to spend on their mini-moon or honeymoon (or both).

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Bridebook’s National Wedding Survey 2018 puts the figure at £30,355 (up by £3,365, or 12 per cent, from £26,989 in 2017).  Not surprisingly, their latest survey shows the average cost of a wedding in 2021 was a more modest £24,000 (almost certainly due to the impact of COVID-19 and the rise of the micro-wedding and smaller, more intimate celebrations).

In 2021 the Hitched survey reveals that three in five couples had financial help from family to help pay for their wedding, with parents' footing 61% of the bill (pre-pandemic bank of Mum and Dad chipped in around 50%).  Almost half of couples, 48%, went over budget in 2021.  

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Most popular time of year to tie the knot

The favourite month is August – makes sense when you consider the British weather!

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Love online

According to Hitched a quarter of all couples who married in 2021 met through a dating app.  59% of couples also announced their engagement on social media.  However, in other parts of the world this idea has yet to catch on.  55% of marriages that happen across the globe today are arranged by parents and in India, the rate of arranged marriage is a staggering 90%!

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Timelines

The average length of engagement is 20 months, according to the Hitched survey.  How long do couples spend planning their nuptials?  24% take more than two years over it.

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Guest list

On average UK couples invite 72 people to their wedding, if Hitched has the figure right.  In the US, however, weddings tend to be a lot bigger.  According to The Knot Real Weddings Study, the average US wedding size in 2021 was 105 guests. This is a major increase from the 2020 figure of just 66 guests (Covid being the reason, of course), though lower than 2019's average guest count of 131 people.

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How trendy are you?

There’s a growing trend for teetotal weddings with one in ten couples opting not to serve alcohol at their wedding in 2021.  12% of couples chose to adopt the American tradition of a ‘first look’ last year.  Then there’s the increasing focus on sustainability - 22% of those who married in 2021 included eco-friendly elements at their wedding.  

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Any other questions?

We hope these figures provide some useful food for thought as you plan your wedding – if nothing else they’ll provide fun discussion points as you work through your preparations with family and friends.  If you have any other questions (not just about statistics!) but any aspect of tying the knot just ask us – the team at Clevedon Hall are happy to have their brains picked!

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When you start your wedding planning journey you are going come across venues, and vendors who speak a language littered with words you’ve never encountered before – it’s time to learn the wedding lingo!  In this post we list some of the most common phrases and terms that are likely to crop up.

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Ascot tie

A very formal style of neckband with wide pointed wings and fastened with a tie pin or tie clip and usually worn with grey tails coats.

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Black Tie

A very formal dress code for the evening part of your celebrations.  Men should wear a tuxedo and woman can choose between a formal cocktail dress or long evening gown.

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Bustle

An arrangement of buttons, loops and/or ties sewn into back of a wedding dress to pull the train off the ground.  This allows you move around the reception and dance without worrying about tripping over your dress.

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Buttonhole

The little flower arrangements worn in the lapel of the men’s suits at a wedding.

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Canapé

A bite-sized piece of bread or pastry with a savoury topping as an hors d'oeuvres with drinks before dinner.

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Centrepiece

Floral arrangements on reception tables.  They can also feature fruit, greenery or just a cluster of candles.

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Charger Plate

Nothing to do with your phone!  It’s a large decorative base dish that sits beneath the plate on which food is served – add extra elegance and formality to your table setting.  It essentially takes the place of a table mat.  

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Corsage

A petite floral arrangement worn on the wrist, typically given to mothers and grandmothers to wear on your wedding day.

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Classic Photography

Style of wedding photography that is very conventional and traditional with posed shots of the couple and different groups of guests.

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Cocktail hour

The term Americans use to describe the drinks reception shortly after your ceremony.

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Contemporary Photography

Style of wedding photography sometimes referred to as fashion, editorial, creative or modern wedding photography – you’ll get a series of shots, featuring creative lighting and unusual compositions, that look like they’ve come from the pages of a glamorous fashion magazine.

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Corkage

If you supply your own alcohol the venue or caterer will usually charge you for opening and serving each bottle.

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A Cutting Cake

A very small cake that enables you to have the traditional “cake cutting” but without spending a fortune on a huge multi-layered affair.  It’s not meant to be served to guests.  Perfect if you’d rather serve something else for dessert or you’d rather spend your budget on something else.

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Favours

A small gift to thank the guests for taking part in your wedding and sharing the special occasion.

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First look

Bride and groom meet just before the ceremony to admire each other’s outfit and squeeze in some photographs (gives you more time for cocktails and chat later).

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Fondant

A sugary dough used to give cakes a smooth and sleek exterior.  Can be dyed, marbled, moulded, and sculpted to take your wedding cake to the next level.  It’s  edible but some prefer to remove it before eating as it can be very sweet and a little chewy.

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Marryoke

You and your guests are videoed miming the words to a hit song.  The footage and soundtrack are edited together to create the illusion that you are all singing the song for real.  The idea came from Japan but is catching on here.

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Master of Ceremonies/Toastmaster

A person who directs the proceedings during the wedding reception.  He or she will announce the entrance of the bride and groom, direct the applause, introduce the speakers, propose toasts and announce the cutting of the cake.

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Morning Suit

The most formal attire for groom and ushers, it features a long, formal jacket with tails, a waistcoat and striped trousers.

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Open Bar

A free bar where you foot the bill rather than your guests.

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Palette

The selection of colours you’ve chosen to work with on your wedding day.  This influences everything from linens to flowers and decorations to invitations. Most palettes feature at least three colours—a main colour, a neutral, and an accent.

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Place Settings

What the guest sees in front of them at the dinner.  Formal wedding place settings usually include a charger, a dinner plate, a salad plate, a bread plate with a bread knife, salad and dinner forks, salad and dinner knives, a soup spoon, a dessert spoon and fork, a water glass, and at least one wine glass, with possibly a menu and a napkin.

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Plus One

An additional invite for single guests (unmarried/not living together) to ask someone to accompany them.  

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Pomander

A ball of blooms, often suspended from a ribbon, carried by flower girls or by the bride herself.  Sometimes they are used to make table centrepiece.

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Processional

The music that accompanies the entrance of the bride and bridal party to the ceremony.

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Receiving Line

The happy couple and their parents stand in line to welcome guests individually to the reception dinner.  

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Recessional

The music played as the bride and groom walk back down the aisle following the ceremony.

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Rehearsal Dinner

Usually occurs the night before the wedding itself, typically taking place after the wedding rehearsal (hence the name).  Usually includes the couple, their wedding party, and immediate family members.

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Reportage Photography

Informal style of wedding photography, also referred to as photo-journalistic or documentary.  Captures fleeting moments of your big day with natural shots that are not posed.

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RSVP

Short for “Répondez s’il vous plait”, a polite way to ask guests to please let you know if they are accepting your wedding invitation and will be attending.

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Save The Date Cards

You send these as soon as you have fixed on a day to give everyone as much opportunity as possible to plan ahead.  The formal invitation, containing all the important details about the proceeding, follows later.

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Top Table

The table where the wedding party is seated for the wedding breakfast.  

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Trunk show

An event where a dress designer shows off their entire new collection.  This usually takes place at a bridal boutique.

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Wedding Breakfast

A slightly misleading term as it has nothing to do with breakfast!  Refers to the meal at your reception.

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Wedmin

A combination of wedding and admin, ie everything to do with planning and organising a wedding.  It has become a bit of a buzzword in the industry after Prince Harry used it on several occasions when referring to his own nuptials.

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Speakeasy

This list will hopefully cover all those unfamiliar words and phrases the wedding professionals love to use.  At Clevedon Hall we try to avoid the jargon as much as possible.  Call us now to discuss your wedding plans and we promise to speak your language!

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As the weather warms up it’s only natural that the idea of an outdoor wedding ceremony and/or celebration becomes increasingly tempting.  Appealing as this idea can appear it does require a greater degree of planning.  In this post we flag up some of the practicalities and legalities you need to consider before getting too carried away.

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What’s the law regarding outdoor weddings in the UK?  

In many of your favourite rom-coms the happy couple conduct their wedding ceremony in a variety of idyllic outdoor locations.  But until recently you could only do this in England and Wales if the ceremony took place under a fixed shelter that was registered for this purpose – such as the gazebo in the gardens at Clevedon Hall.  The law in Scotland however was more lax – couples could marry anywhere provided the celebrant was licenced.

This law covering England and Wales was relaxed last year – it’s now legal for couples to hold civil ceremonies outdoors (provided the setting is deemed “seemly and dignified”).  If you want a religious ceremony, however, this must still be conducted in an appropriate place of worship.

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Outdoors but undercover

In some parts of the world, at certain seasons the weather can be sufficiently dependable that you can hold your entire day under clear skies without requiring any kind of overhead cover.  England, however, is not one of them – so you have to plan accordingly.  

You can choose a venue, like Clevedon Hall, that gives you the option of outdoors if the weather is kind but also provides appropriate indoor spaces if it turns out wet, cold or windy (or all three!).  On the other hand you can pick a genuinely outdoor spot, like a friend’s field or a big garden, and give yourself the same contingency by erecting a marquee capable of accommodating all your guests.

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You’ll almost certainly find that the ideal set up is a location with a mix of outdoor and indoor spaces that gives you flexibility on the day depending on the weather.  Somewhere you can have an outdoor ceremony, an indoors wedding breakfast, a sunny terrace for an alfresco drinks reception followed by an evening barbecue, a ballroom for dancing, and gardens so people can stretch their legs and kids have plenty of room to play.  Where are you going to find a venue that offers all that and more?  Look no further than Clevedon Hall!

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Think about the extras

If you decide to have your outdoor wedding at a venue like Clevedon Hall that is already full equipped for hosting ceremonies and celebrations then they will also provide everything from furniture to glassware, cutlery to tablecloths.  If you go the marquee route in a field or garden then you’ll have to hire in all these extras.  There’s no shortage of companies who provide such services but the costs are not inconsiderable.

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Also, consider access – a wedding in a woodland glade or in a secluded alley may be very romantic but how easy is it going to be to set up the marquee, and bring all these items in, given your chosen spot?  Then there’s catering – how difficult is it going to be to provide food for everyone?  Unless you plan on serving a cold buffet you are going to need some kind of preparing, or at least reheating, hot dishes.

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Decorating your outdoor space

A marquee will protect everyone from the elements but it lacks atmosphere.  You’ll need to provide a lot in the way of décor to make it sufficiently welcoming and romantic.  The same goes for the outdoor spaces – you’ll need to do a lot of work to make the space your own, create the right mood and make it wedding-ready.

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Decorations need to match your theme – and your theme should match the location.  If you want a classic and formal theme then the outdoors may not be the best idea – you might be better advised to go for somewhere with grand interiors.  However, if your theme is boho, festival or rustic an outdoor location is ideal.

Lengths of fabric draped from the marquee's ceiling can be used to soften the space or to create sectioned off "rooms."   Make the space more inviting and comfortable with lounge furniture and lots of pillows. If you don't have room to bring in couches and plush chairs, arrange your dining area with smaller 4-person reception tables instead of larger 8 or 10 person tables to create a more intimate look and feel.  Big flower arrangements and strings of festival bunting work well too.  The more you dress the area the warmer and cosier it will feel.

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Let there be light

Lighting is another crucial factor to bear in mind – it not only sets the mood but is pretty essential once the sun has set!   You can enhance the ambiance by adding things like paper lanterns, candles, pinspot lighting, twinkling lights or stately chandeliers. Think luminaries and small up-lights along the paths, and mason jars or tea lights hanging from nearby tree branches – the effect is magical!

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Look no further than Clevedon Hall

We’re biased, but in our humble opinion there’s nowhere better than Clevedon Hall to host your outdoor wedding.  Our outdoor gazebo is the perfect setting for the ceremony, the extensive gardens offer a wide range of beautiful opportunities, the terrace is ideal for a drinks reception or barbecue.  The orangery gives you the best of indoors and outdoors, whether for the ceremony, drinks or even dining.  Want to have a fireworks display, set up a bouncy castle or play croquet?  No problem.  Plus our team have hosted more than a few outdoor weddings so they are not short of great ideas to make your day extra special.  

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The world is supposedly returning to normal as we learn to live with Covid.  But travel companies are struggling to cope with resurgent demand.  The news as we approach the Easter holiday is full of stories about cancelled flights and ferry problems due to staffing issues.  Then there’s the risk that new restrictions may be introduced without warning.  And if you catch the virus before or during your break that will really disrupt your plans!  A staycation honeymoon is much the safer bet and we’ve picked a pair of very different destinations close to home that you are sure to love.  Both are hidden gems – closely guarded secrets that regular visitors are reluctant to publicise too widely!

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Cornwall is calling

Nothing is more romantic than a cosy cottage at the seaside – and Cornwall is hard to beat for gorgeous beaches, dramatic cliff-top walks and inviting places to stay.  Mousehole, just a handful of miles from Land’s End, ticks all the right boxes.  Described as the loveliest fishing village in England by Dylan Thomas, it’s little more than a jumble of tightly packed cottages and a maze of narrow cobbled streets pressed close to a pint-sized harbour.   Strolling along the sea wall, or ascending the steep hill that rises behind the houses, gives you sweeping views across a wide bay to picturesque St Michael’s Mount.

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Good times guaranteed

There’s an ancient pub right on the quayside, aptly name the Ship Inn, and right next door a superb bistro-style seafood restaurant, No.2 Fore Street.  Newlyn, home to most of Britain’s much reduced fishing fleet, is only about two miles away, so the fare here is predominantly fishy and could not be fresher.  Joe, the chef is classically trained under Raymond Blanc, so the quality is exceptional.  The staff could not be more accommodating, cheerful and unpretentious (not something that’s always the case in Cornwall, it must be said), the atmosphere is happy and relaxed, the prices surprisingly modest.  So, make sure you book – this place is popular, and for all the right reasons!

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The perfect “coast” vibe

The same people who own the restaurant also run the little deli just around that, plus a couple of holiday cottages.  No.9 Chapel Street, a croissant’s throw from the deli, is a converted net loft, and the most perfect honeymoon hideaway. The upper floor, accessed from the street, provides an ample kitchen/dining/sitting room.  Downstairs there’s a wonderfully cosy bathroom (with underfloor heating!) and delightful bedroom to snuggle up in.  The styling is immaculate – quintessential coastal-chic with reclaimed floorboards, exposed beams, wood burner and appropriate nautical decorative touches. If you do like to be beside the seaside then it’s hard to imagine a more idyllic escape for your first few days and nights as Mr and Mrs.

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Wedded bliss in Wessex

Thomas Hardy’s much loved romantic novels are set in the fictional county of Wessex (named after the Anglo-Saxon kingdom) but it’s plain to see that the settings are closely based on Dorset, the county in which he lived most of his life.  The world has changed much since his era but the landscape he celebrated is still much the same – very rural, quiet and unspoilt, with no major city to speak of and no motorway running through it.  

In many ways it’s a land that time forgot, dotted with ancient hillforts, home to the Jurassic coast and giant dinosaurs, criss-crossed by winding lanes better suited to the horse and cart than cars and lorries, a sleepy backwater notable for quaint villages with names that recall the Roman occupation or early medieval period – Fontmell Magna, Blandford Forum, Toller Porcorum, Ryme Intrinseca, Piddletrenthide, Haselbury Plucknett.  

For all these reasons Dorset offers the perfect honeymoon escape – the slower pace of life, the wealth of history and heritage, the unspoilt environment and the associations with Hardy’s novels make it a dream destination for a few days of post-wedding rest, relaxation and romance.

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History and award-winning hospitality

Deep in the heart of the county nestles the tiny village of Evershot (or Evershed, as Hardy would have it in his writings).  It’s home to what is almost certainly the finest hotel in the locality, and its most inviting pub.  The hotel is Summer Lodge, built in 1788 as the dower house for the adjacent Ilchester Estate.  In 1893 the 2nd Earl of Ilchester asked a local architect and struggling poet to help him extend the house – the drawing room and Master Suite were designed by a young Thomas Hardy.

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Today, set in four acres of lush gardens, with a spa and indoor swimming pool, it has been transformed into the quintessential country house hotel.  The team running it is extremely well established – once people start working here they lose the urge to work anywhere else!   This includes Executive Head Chef Steve Titman, who delights in making superb use of the freshest, sustainable, locally-sourced produce (Dorset Vinny Blue Cheese, Dorset Beef, Dorset truffles, fish straight from nearby Lyme Bay) as well as incredible ingredients from the kitchen gardens.  The cellar is recognised as one of the very best in the world by the Wine Spectator Magazine and presided over by Eric Zwiebel, named Best Sommelier in the UK.  Small wonder that every year this establishment collects a host of top industry awards – most recently voted No.5 in The Best 30 Hotels in the UK by Condé Nast Traveller Readers' Choice Awards 2021.  

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A legendary local

Evershot’s pub, The Acorn Inn, is sister to the hotel - both are part of the exclusive Red Carnation Collection.  A charming 16th-century coaching inn that features as the   'The Sow & Acorn' in Hardy’s 'Tess of the d'Urbervilles' it still retains its historical charm with oak panelled walls, roaring open fires, ancient wooden beams, worn flagstones and four poster beds.  It’s a “proper pub” serving the best local real ales, with a hearty traditional bar, yet the cuisine is anything but ordinary.  It recently picked up the 'Best Country Dining Pub' award at The Good Pub Guide Awards 2021 and Robert Ndungu, was awarded Chef of the Year at the Dorset Magazine Food, Drink & Farming Awards.  Guests have access to the spa at Summer Lodge and dining in the hotel restaurant for a lunch or dinner is an option if you’d like to enjoy both dining experiences.

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We hope you have a heavenly honeymoon

The wedding experience at Clevedon Hall is of the very highest order.  So, we’ve shared two honeymoon destinations that we believe are in the same league – we’re keen to ensure your honeymoon is every bit as special as your big day!  If you’d like some more inspiration about any other aspects of your wedding plan just ask – the team here are only too happy to help.

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The moment you announce your engagement family and friends will start asking questions about the wedding.  Have you got a date in mind, what kind of theme are you leaning towards, is there a venue you have your sights set on, who will be your bridesmaids?  You’ll also discover that while it’s your day that doesn’t stop everyone else having certain expectations and being free with their advice!  With a lot of decisions there’s little risk of hurting anyone’s feelings – hopefully nobody will be too upset if you go for an orange sponge wedding cake when their favourite is chocolate.  Choosing your Maid of Honour, however, is another matter – you have to tread very carefully to avoid stepping on toes!  In this post we offer some advice on how to pick the most appropriate candidate whilst also being very diplomatic.

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No pressure then?

What if you know that one of your besties has their heart set on the honour for herself – saying no is going to hurt.  What if your family and friends are lobbying for rival contenders?  And suppose you were maid of honour at a sibling’s or friend’s wedding – aren’t you obliged to return the compliment and ask them?  See how tricky this can get?!

The thing to remember is that the Maid of Honour isn’t just an honorary title.  She has an important function to perform – supporting you as and when needed.  It’s a very personal role, so it’s your personal decision.  Select the person you feel most comfortable with, the one you know you can rely on to take care of things when there’s an issue, the one you believe will prove most empathetic and supportive.  

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If in doubt choose a family member

If you’re really struggling to decide between two or three people each with an equally good claim to be your pick it’s probably safest to go with a family member.  Even if your best friend ever was confident of getting the call they are unlikely to feel too bent out of shape if you pick a close relative over them.  Also, a relative is for life, whereas friendships can wane over time – so try not to fall out with family!

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Why have just one?

Traditionally you only had one Maid of Honour.  But most traditions are now being swept aside.  Got a shortlist of two or three candidates that you are equally keen on and whom you can’t bear to disappoint?  Just ask them all!  They can share out the Maid of Honour duties between them and that way everyone is happy.  You certainly won’t be short of support.

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Could she be a he?

These are gender-fluid times so who’s to say that you can’t have a Man of Honour instead?  It’s actually becoming increasingly common.  If there’s a guy you are particularly close to, a friend, a brother or maybe a cousin, that could work really well.

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Don’t be too hasty

As we’ve already indicated the role is not just honorary – it comes with responsibilities attached.  When you are thinking through your options be realistic about each person’s particular strengths and weaknesses.  Someone who is a real party animal may seem like the obvious choice but stop and think this through – chances are they’re also hopelessly disorganised and unreliable.  You’d be much better advised to go with someone who dependable, good with detail and calm under pressure.

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How good are they at emotional recue?

There will be times during the whole wedding planning process when you’ve had about as much fun as you can handle.  And moments, like just before you walk down the aisle, when the nerves start playing up.  This is when the Maid of Honour really proves their worth – look for someone who is naturally empathetic, diplomatic, positive and supportive.  Someone who can handle emotionally awkward situations, diffuse tensions, find solutions and offer constructive support when it matters most.  

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Want to talk?

When picking your Maid of Honour it can help to talk it through with someone completely independent – like the team at Clevedon Hall.  We can’t make the decision for you but the mere process of discussing your options can certainly clarify things.

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The best bit of a wedding, for many of the guests, is the speeches.  In the past the bride was not expected to do more than sit in silence, smile sweetly and laugh at the appropriate moments.  In today’s more equality-conscious world this tradition is getting a long overdue shakeup.  Recent research suggests that about one in five brides to be now plan to say a few words.   If you are one of those itching to get your hands on the microphone here are some tips about how to ace it.

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What should you say?

You need to make your bride speech relevant to the occasion.  So, it’s an opportunity to thank her bridesmaids, her family and friends for their support and the groom’s family for welcoming her.  Also, very importantly, it enables her to say some lovely things about her new husband (returning the compliments he made to her in his speech).  

The key to any great speech is to put yourself in the audience’s seats and tailor it to them – if you are saying what they want to hear your words will be enthusiastically applauded!  50% of the guests will be women but something like 80% of the other speeches (if not more!) are delivered by the men.  So, address the women and give the female perspective.

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Avoid repeating what’s in the other speeches

Talk to the best man, your dad and your fiancé to get an idea of what topics they’ll be covering and what stories they plan to tell.  That way you won’t be covering the exact same subjects as them.

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Tone of voice

It’s best to keep it light-hearted and upbeat.  Humour works well (and people will expect you to raise a few laughs) but don’t try too hard to be funny – it can come across as forced and then fall flat (your role is not to be a stand-up comedy act!).  Stories work well and are easy to tell.  For instance, you could give your version of how you first met, your first impressions, the proposal and challenges with your wedding planning experiences.

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Keep it short and to the point

Remember that all the speeches combined will probably stretch to half an hour - any longer than that and people will get bored and restless.  That means you should probably give yourself no more than five minutes.

Sticking to short sentence, and pausing between each one to make eye contact with the audience, works well.  This will allow you to breathe slowly, stay calm and collect your thoughts – a gabbled speech is not what people want to hear.  

Steer clear of any embarrassing anecdotes – you are likely to offend and you may not get the laughs you expect.

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Be yourself and don’t be afraid to share your feelings

A wedding is an emotional and romantic occasion so speak from the heart and really put your own personal stamp on things.  Just reading out a list of formal “thank yous” will leave everyone very disappointed.

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Preparation and practice

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to wing it.  Write it down.  Read it aloud to a few close friends and get their feedback.  Record it and listed to it yourself (even better, video it).  

Then rewrite it.  Now practice it until you can deliver it smoothly and confidently.  Some brides may like to memorise it, others may prefer to write the key points on a card or two (but se this as a memory jogger and confidence booster – don’t read from them word for word).

Do not leave this till the last few days before the big one – best to give yourself at least a month, if not more, to get it right.

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Drink responsibly

Should you be totally sober before you get to your feet and start to speak?  It’s up to you.  A glass of bubbly beforehand may help you settle your nerves and get you into the swing of things.  Two glasses is probably the max – any more than this and you are probably asking for trouble!

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Where does the bride fit in the order of speeches?

The traditional order of speeches is father of the bride, followed by the groom and then the best man.  Tacking the bride’s speech on the end can come across as a bit of a token gesture – it can look as if she’s just being given a few minutes as an afterthought.  Between the groom and best man works well, or straight after her father.  You could even decide to kick things off if you want to make a point about how equal the partnership is!

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Want some more help with your speech?

The team at Clevedon Hall have heard more than their fair share of great wedding speeches.  We’ve included their main tips above but if you have any further questions about this aspect of your big day (or any other for that matter) just give us a call.

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Right now the cost of living is going up fast – everything from petrol and diesel to food and drink, energy and utility bills to clothing and furniture.  That means couples planning a wedding have to be even more budget-conscious than before.  In this post we list the main reasons people spend more than they intended on their big day.

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Heart ruling head

Most couples, even the most financially-savvy, go over their wedding budget.  The underlying reason is that they let their emotions sway their judgement.  This is perfectly understandable and hard to address.  Your wedding day is the most romantic occasion of your lifetime and if you are too penny-pinching you risk putting a real damper on things – keep things too tight when tying the knot and you’ll squeeze all joy and pleasure out of it!  Having said that you do need to maintain some balance between what your heart wants and what your head (and bank balance) is telling you.

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Your original budget was unrealistic

This is the most common reasons couples give when ruefully reflecting that they spent more than they expected.  It follows on directly from the previous point – people let their feelings get the better of them and don’t make a realistic assessment of what things cost or how much money they have to spend.  

So here’s our advice.  Don’t make any decisions until you have a clear and defined plan that shows exactly how much you have to spend on each aspect of the celebrations.  If you ignore this advice you’ll find you’ve spent your budget before you know it and can’t afford a load of essentials – don’t be that couple!

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To help you scope out the realistic costs here’s rough breakdown that shows how a typical wedding budget breaks down:

·         Venue (including catering/food/drink, décor and cake) 48%

·         Clothing and beauty (including wedding dress, groom’s attire, alterations, accessories, shoes, hair and makeup) 13%

·         Photography (including album and prints) 10%

·         Flowers (including bouquets, button holes, ceremony and reception) 8%

·         Entertainment (including ceremony, reception and evening) 7%

·         Ceremony (including officiant and licence) 2%

How much does all this equate to in actual money?  According to Hitched magazine the average wedding in the UK in 2021 cost £17,300 (but others suggest a number almost double that!).  Use this figure to do the maths for your own budget.  Hitched  reckons the average for the venue was £7600 plus £65 a head for catering, £1300 for the dress and £1200 for photography.  

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Forgetting to factor in the extras

A lot of couples get caught out by costs that are pretty much unavoidable but easy to overlook.  Postage, for instance – sending out those invites is not cheap!  Corkage – you think you can save money by purchasing the wine yourself but forget that the venue will almost certainly charge a fee for bottle (this can be anywhere from £5 to £20 a bottle!).  Do you need additional lighting or sound equipment?  Beauty treatments before the big day - haircut and colour, facial, waxing, nails, tan?  Do you need accommodation the night before?  Transport to the ceremony?  Wedding favours?  Are you going to pay for bridesmaids’ dresses?  Bridesmaids’ hair and beauty?  Wedding insurance?  There’s a long list of possible extras you need to consider!

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Unwillingness to compromise

If you want to stick within budget then you’ll need to be a bit flexible when it comes to some aspects of your big day.  Make a list of essentials, things you can’t do without (venue, dress, groom’s attire, photography?).  Then make a list of things that are nice to have - but not totally indispensable (live band, a weekend wedding date, professional hair and makeup, wedding favours?).  With the essentials you may be able to scale things back – trim the guest list, go for less expensive catering options, spend less on the dress or cake.  With the other list you may have to forgo some things entirely.  

If you prioritise the things that are really important to you, and are willing to make some compromises in the other areas, then you’ll be able to stay true to your dream wedding vision without breaking the bank.

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Not keeping back some contingency funds

Even the best laid plans can go slightly awry – something unforeseen always crops up.  Anyone with a bit of experience of wedding planning will tell you to keep 10% of your budget in reserve to cover unexpected additional costs.  If you haven’t put money aside for such a situation you are going over budget!

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Doing the math in your head

Use a spreadsheet or other budget tracking service otherwise you are inviting miscalculations.  It’s the only way to accurately factor in all the costs and keep track of the expenditure.  This is not only useful for major items such as the venue, catering and entertainment, but also the lesser ones items such as escort cards, favours, and lighting.  If you use a digital budgeting program any changes will be reflected in the total without you having to recalculate.  However, if pen and paper is more your style, that’s fine – just make sure everything is written down and all the documents are organised in one folder for easy reference.  No matter how much of a numbers whizz you are this is not a project that’s suitable for mental arithmetic – especially as your partner is not a mind reader and you are supposed to be working together on this!

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Not listening closely to the vendors

Your vendors want everything to go smoothly.  They also have lots of experience.  Be straight with them about what your budget is and what you hope to achieve with it, then listen carefully to their opinions and advice.  Make sure you get all the details clear before committing yourself.  Also read the contracts very thoroughly.  If you leave things vague, and don’t read the small print, then you are inviting budget-creep!

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Losing control of guest numbers

The more guests to higher the costs – it’s that simple.  So set a maximum number and stick to it.  This is easier said than done – parents will insist on inviting their friends you barely know, distant relatives will expect an invite and there’s the whole “plus-one” issue.  You have to stay firm on this.  Our previous post gives you lots of advice on how to manage this challenge without upsetting people.

Of course, not everyone will be able to attend – and you won’t know the total until all the RSVPs are in (and a few who said yes will fail to turn up on the day).  It’s safe to assume that about 85% of those invited will accept and be there.

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Want some more free advice on how to stay within budget?

The team at Clevedon Hall have helped countless couples make their wedding day dreams come true – no matter how big or small their budget.  We love sharing our knowledge and using our experience to make the most magical day possible – without breaking the bank!  Let’s talk!

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Wedding planning, for most of us (royalty and celebrities aside) is largely about how to make our dream day a huge success whilst working within a limited budget.  The most obvious way to get more wow for your money is to keep the guest list relatively modest.  Narrowing down the numbers, however, is stressful.  In this post we give some guidance about how best to approach awkward questions about who to invite…and who to leave out.

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Prepare a preliminary guest list

You and your partner should sit down and write your preferred list.  Don’t involve anyone else at this stage.  Start the list with immediate family, then add more distant relatives you really want to have there.  After that add those best friends without whom you can’t imagine tying the knot.

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Involve the parents

Share your preliminary list with both sets of parents.  This is where it probably starts to get tricky because they will have some must-invites you hadn’t considered (and aren’t that bothered about!).  Traditional etiquette suggests that if you invite one uncle or aunt you should invite them all.  The same goes for cousins and second cousins.  If you are not consistent with this you’ll have some awkward questions to answer.  If you are both from small families this won’t be too much of an issue.  But with a big extended family you could find relatives taking every available place!

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Both sides of the family get an equal share of extras

Once you’ve agreed all the family invitations ask your parents who else they’d like to invite – they will have best friends they’d dearly like to include.  However, give them a fixed number, the same for both sides of the family, and make it clear that there are no more seats available.

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Children – yes or no?

This is your call.  If you want to include kids that’s fine but if you prefer an adults only occasion that’s also entirely up to you.  If you go for the latter option make sure you allow no exceptions otherwise there will definitely be some bad feeling.  

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Couples whose wedding you recently attended?

There’s no hard and fast rule.  If you went to a friend’s wedding five years ago then you're not obliged to return the favour (even if you were a bridesmaid).  If the wedding was in the last year or two then you’d better add them to your list (especially if you or your partner was in the wedding party).

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Plus-One’s – what’s the protocol?

In the past there was a “no ring, no bring” rule, meaning you could only attend with another if they were engaged or married to you.  Times, however, have changed.  Today’s etiquette is less strict.  You don’t have to offer every one of your guests a plus-one invite.  However, if they’re in a serious relationship of any sort (dating, living together, engaged, etc.), their partner should be included.  

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Questions to help you arrive at the right number

Once you start narrowing down the list there will be some people you are not sure whether to include or not.  Ash yourselves:

Have I ever met this person?

Brides and grooms are frequently introduced to people for the first time at their own wedding.  Sounds crazy, but they are usually distant relatives or work associates of a parent.  You won’t want to include them, but you risk upsetting a mum or dad if you don’t!

When did I last see them?

If the answer is 12 to 18 months ago, or longer, then (unless they live a long distance away and you have had a lengthy telephone conversation in that time frame) you probably shouldn't include them.

Did I go to their wedding?

It depends on how recent that wedding was (see above).  If the wedding was recent and you weren’t invited then you probably shouldn’t include them.  If it was recent and you attended then you better invite them in return.

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We work together but are we really close friends?

OK, we spend a lot of time together but that’s just the nature of the job.  Do we see them outside of work?  If one of us leaves will we still keep up the relationship?

Do I go away for holidays and share birthday celebrations with them?

If the answer is “yes” then they probably need to be on your guest list.

Are we inviting the rest of their family?

Inviting two cousins you get on well with but leaving out their sibling is likely to upset someone!

Do I enjoy their company?

If you have some people who are on your “maybe” list cross off the ones you don’t click with.

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Are they a positive or negative sort of person?

Do they light up the room when they arrive…or when they leave?!

If we moved away, would we stay in touch?

This is a really good question that will help you judge just how deep the relationship is.

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That’s the guest list sorted – what next?

These tips and questions will hopefully help you whittle your guest list down to a point where it fits comfortably with your budget.  If there are any other aspects of wedding planning you are struggling with just give us a call.  The team here have a wealth of experience they are happy to share!

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Want to add the X factor to your wedding, something unexpected that will totally wow your guests and keep them well and truly entertained?  In this post we’ve serve up a big helping of inspirational ideas to make your big day even more fun and memorable.

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Sports Day

Remember how much fun you had with sack races, eggs and spoons, bean bag throwing competitions, hula hoops and the tug-o-war?  Get everyone to release their inner child (easy once you’ve had a couple of glasses of Prosecco!) and may the odds be in your favour!  If you fancy this idea make sure you book a summer wedding and a venue like Clevedon Hall with lots of gorgeous outdoor space.

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Palm or tarot card reader

Hire a palm reader to wander amongst your guests. Or get a tarot card reader to set up a table.  Everyone will want to know what their future holds and it’s a great way to get the conversations going.

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Prosecco Pong

Like beer pong, just a bit more sophisticated.  You just need a table, some glasses and a few ping pong balls.  Each player takes attempts to throw a ping pong ball into one of the opponent's cups. If they succeed the other player has to drink what's in that cup.  The one who empties all their cups first is the loser (boozer?!).  Make sure someone is on hand to take lots of photographs.

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Fireworks display

There’s no better way to round off your evening party than with a bunch of flashes, bangs, wheeees, ooohs and aaaahs!  Clevedon Hall, with its big gardens and gently sloping lawns, lends itself perfectly to staging this kind of grand finale.  Just talk to our team and they’ll be happy to organise everything for you.

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Hot Chocolate Bar

This is great idea for a winter wedding.  Stock it with all the trimmings so guests can pimp their mugs to their heart’s delight – whipped cream, chocolate flakes, marshmallows, flavoured syrups (gingerbread, peppermint, and salted caramel are all awesome!).  For the grown-ups you could also add Baileys or Disaronno for a bit of an alcoholic twist!!

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Limbo Competition

So easy to set up and guaranteed to be a barrel of laughs.  The merrier your guests get the easier it looks…but the harder it becomes.  Another one of those ideas it’s essential to photograph and video!

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Doughnut bobbing

Dangle different flavoured doughnuts on a row of strings (the branch of a tree or line tied between two uprights will do nicely).  Get guests to clasp their hands behind their backs then attempt to take bites out of the sweet treats.  It makes a very colourful decorative touch and is hilarious fun to watch.  A great excuse for letting people indulge in a sugar rush!

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Pimp your Prosecco station

Set up a bar with plenty of chilled Prosecco (Champagne or other sparkling wines work equally well) then provide a spread of things your guests can add.  Take your pick from:

Juices & purees - peach and orange are most popular juices for mimosas or a Buck's Fizz, but pineapple, pomegranate, mango, and berry puree are also delicious.

Cordials & sodas - flavoured fizzy waters, fresh lemonade, cream soda, ginger beer or elderflower cordial all work wonders

Liqueurs - these add a touch of luxe.  Try Chambord, creme de cassis, sloe gin, limoncello and Triple Sec

Fruit - fresh or frozen, summer berries, pomegranate seeds, orange segments, sliced apple, peaches, mango, pineapple, guava and dragon fruit.

Garnishes - orange peel, cucumber, springs of rosemary, thyme, basil, lavender or edible flower petals

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Street food

If you’re struggling to decide on how to feed your guests in the evening a street food truck will work like dream.  It adds a festival vibe to the proceedings and there are so many great options to choose from these days – Thai, Mexican, burgers, pizzas, there are so many cool food trucks you could choose from.  Or maybe desserts are more your thing?  Hire an ice cream van, a Belgian Waffle tuk tuk, a Crêpe cart, or a doughnut waggon?

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Circus Entertainer

How about a fire eater, acrobat, hoop performer, stilt walkers, juggler, mime artist, contortionist, tightwire dancer or a pair of clowns?  That’ll certainly help to break the ice!

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Virtual Reality Games

Want to add an extra dimension to your evening entertainment?  Hire a company to set up a VR party arcade where guests can fly through space, walk the plank, escape from dungeons, fight zombies, race F1cars and do all sorts of other amazing things.  It’s not just for geeks (honest!).

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Vodka Luge

A what?!  This is a big ice sculpture that has a hole drilled through.  A shot of vodka is poured in the top and winds its way down until it pops out lower down…straight into your mouth and deliciously chilled.  This makes a fabulous centerpiece and it's so much fun to watch your guests take on the challenge of catching all the vodka as they get tipsier.  Makes great Instagram moments!

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Want some more ideas?

These are just a few of the more off the wall ideas our team came up with.  They have lots more!  Plus we have great contacts with local suppliers.  Get in touch if you’d like some more free inspiration!

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All great wedding tend to have a particular theme – a stylistic thread running through everything so that all the different elements, from the invitations to the table decorations and the canapes to the bridesmaids dresses, are in perfect harmony.  You obviously want your wedding to be a unique expression of your particular personalities and relationship – so “picking a theme” may sound like it’s going to cramp your style.  Most brides, however, find the reverse is true.  One of the biggest problems with planning a wedding is that there are too many ideas and options to choose from – it’s easy to overload yourself, get confused and make choices you later regret.  A theme gives you a frame of reference and enables you to focus.  When you have a theme in mind it suddenly becomes much clearer why this dress/cake/venue/band/photographer will work…and why all those others won’t.  So, what are these themes?  This list isn’t comprehensive but it will hopefully get you started.

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Romantic

Every wedding has an element of romance to it (that’s the whole point of the occasion, right?!).  However, you can accentuate this aspect and set an especially romantic tone by picking a venue that has some history and grandeur – a imposing stately home, a fairy tale castle, a magnificent ballroom, an ancient walled garden or vineyard perhaps.  Then decorate it with lots and lots and lots (as in you can’t have too many!) of fresh flowers and candles.  You want to create a cosy and warm atmosphere with soft lighting, understated pastel colours and lots of champagne and rosé.

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Rustic

This can take many different forms but the overall look and feel should be inspired by nature and the great outdoors.  The ideal setting would be a renovated barn, an ancient farm house, a French chateau or a marquee in a field – the further from any town or urban vibe the better!  Think lots of natural textures, like bare wood (no table cloths!) and exposed brick and stone, natural fabrics like wool, hessian and cotton, and flowers that look as if they’ve come straight from a hedgerow or field.  

The colour palette should feature neutral and soft tones – the vibe is charmingly unsophisticated and shabby-chic.  A semi-naked wedding cake goes well with this style of wedding along with floral arrangements in jam jars (rather than vases), wedding invitations and menus tied up with gardener’s twine, mismatched furniture, a live folk or ceilidh band, straw bales for seating around the dance floor.  Food should be hearty and healthy rather than dainty and sophisticated, with real ale and cider to hand.

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Classic

A classic wedding is quite close in style to romantic, but more formal and traditional – it’s a style for the bride who prefers timelessness over trends.  Go for a vintage venue that has a bit of history and stature, like a stately home or somewhere with a magnificent ballroom.   Consider arranging a champagne cocktail hour with jazz music in the background or a string quartet for guests to enjoy in between the wedding ceremony and the meal.  Perhaps make it a black-tie occasion with everyone dressed to the nines, a full sit down dinner, a very traditional style cake, delicate white florals, plenty of lush greenery, light linens and minimal décor.

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Bohemian

Boho weddings manage to look incredibly chic with minimal effort.  The vibe is casual and comfortable, fun and playful, but effortlessly sophisticated too.  Keep the decor humble but eye-catching and the colour palette in harmony with nature.  For the bride that’s proud to be a free spirit and who treasures her inner hippy.   One idea is to have mismatched bridesmaid dresses or wedding party attire that shows off everyone's style without looking too put together. With the floral arrangements go for blooms that are wispy and wild, like pampas grass, pressed palms or baby's breath.   Your reception should feature a cozy lounge area, complete with mismatched tepees and poufs - decorative pillows or hanging macramé decorations work well.  Tarot readings, someone playing Tibetan singing bowls and lots of incense will all add to the laid-back atmosphere. A naked cake covered in fresh blooms will add the perfect finishing touch.  For your venue think vintage walled garden, a botanical greenhouse or even a wilderness setting – popular options are tipis in a woodland, a wildflower meadow or the Mojave Desert (really!).

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Nautical

The venue should obviously be on the coast, whether that be on a beach, in a yacht club, a beach resort or a seaside house or hotel.  The décor will feature all things nautical –lots of blue and white tones (especially stripes) paired with beach motifs like shells, anchors, ropes, and model sailboats to exude a maritime style.  The menu should feature plenty of seafood and rum cocktails will add an appropriate touch.

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DIY

Everything has to be personalised and done by hand – It’s a lot of hard work but probably saves the pennies.  Whether it's a hand-sewn pennant flag banner, a bar knocked together out of reclaimed wood, a cake you’ve baked yourself or  handwritten signage, your personal style will really shine through.  Details might include a lino-cut stamp that prints your monogram on each invitation, a handcrafted paper flower bouquet and favours packaged with personalized notes of thanks.  A make-your-own food station is pretty much a must for the wedding reception – think a cheese and charcuterie table, a salad bar, a spread of tapas choices and a big spread of desserts.  You’ll discover you are becoming incredibly creative with old pallets, straw bales and vintage wooden ladders!  As for a venue – know anyone with a big garden?

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Fantasy

With this theme you pick a favourite show, movie or book – think Harry Potter, Frozen, Pride & Prejudice, Batman and Wonder Woman, Game of Thrones…let your imagination run riot.  This is not for the faint hearted or the traditionalist.  It’s ideal for extroverts who want to have a lot of fun and break free of convention.

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What will your theme be?

These are just a few of the main themes.  There are many more (vintage, whimsical, modern, eco-friendly, outdoors…) but they tend to be variations on those we have covered here.  Hopefully this post will give you useful food for thought but if you’d like any further input in terms of ideas, or how best to turn these into reality, just give us a call – the team here have bags of experience and are only too happy to help.

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A wedding without drinks is unthinkable.  But how are you going to make sure there’s sufficient choice, and quantity for everyone?  Running dry would be a nightmare - but you don’t want to land yourself a financial hangover either!   Here are some tips to help you make sure all your guests have a great time whilst also keeping costs under control.

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Whose round is it?

Guests would be very upset if you asked them to pay for all their drinks – it’s unheard of!  However, with the celebration lasting for many hours it’s not unreasonable to consider limiting the quantities you provide for free.  Basically, you have three options:

1. Open Bar

All the drinks are free from start to finish, including the meal and the evening party.  This does at least keep things simple because there’s no money changing hands and you won’t have to worry about getting the appropriate drinks licence.  However, you’ll need deep pockets!

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2. Cash Bar

The normal expectation is that you’ll provide the drinks when people arrive at the reception, wine with the meal and champagne for toasts.  However, it is quite acceptable to ask guests to buy any additional drinks from the bar.  Some guests may feel you are being a bit mean, but most will understand that weddings are expensive and you have to draw a line somewhere.  Not only is this going to make budgeting more controllable and keep your costs down but there’s an added benefit.  If people are having to pay for their additional drinks they are less likely to overindulge and misbehave!  If you opt for a cash bar be sure guests in advance.  

3. Limited Bar

With this route you pay for all the drinks but restrict the choices.  For instance, you provide champagne for the toasts, beer and wine throughout and a signature cocktail or two.  Another variation on this is to have a fully stocked bar with a pre-paid tab provided by the bride and groom (or generous parents).   Once guests have consumed drinks up to that limit guests are asked to pay – it’s a kind of “happy hour” approach.

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Don’t get caught out by corkage

If you book a wedding venue or hire a caterer the normal arrangement is for them to supply all the drinks.  Usually, however, there is another option where you purchase the drinks from another supplier and ask the venue or caterer to serve them.  On the face of it this is a great way to save money – but there’s a twist you must be aware of.  The venue or catering company will charge what’s known as “corkage”.  This is a service charge for opening and serving any bottles of wine, sparkling wine, champagne and even spirits that you purchase but ask them to serve.  This varies from company to company but the average is usually somewhere between £12 and £15 a bottle….but it could be a lot more!   Find out what their corkage fee is and then do the math – you may well decide that sourcing your own drinks is not worth the effort.

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Quantities – how to do the calculation

If you are paying for some or all of the drinks then it’s essential you accurately assess how much you are going to need.  For starters, how many people do you have on your guest list?  Next, make a guesstimate of how many are heavy drinkers, how many are light drinkers and how many are teetotal.  

You then need to know how many glasses you get from different bottles and kegs:

1 bottle of 75cl wine              = 6 x 125ml glasses or 3 x 250ml

1 bottle of champagne           = 6 x flute glasses

50 litre keg                             = 84 pints

Quarter barrel keg                  = 49 pints

1 litre bottle of spirit               = 40 x 25ml measures

1 litre Pimms                           = 20 x 50ml measures (mix with 100ml lemonade)

2 litre lemonade                      = 20 x 100ml measures (ideal for Pimms)

When making your final calculations it probably helps to divide the day up into sections.  

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Reception

If we assume this will last for an hour and a half that probably means three drinks per guest.  Get your calculator out and use the table above!  

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Meal

You are going to need Champagne or Prosecco for the toasts and work on getting 6 flutes from a bottle.  With wine you probably need equal quantities of red and white.  Assume you’ll get 6 small glasses from a bottle and that the average guest will drink half a bottle.  1 bottle of water will serve about 3 guests.  

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Evening bar

Guests will be drinking for about 4 hours, but not constantly - some will be dancing, eating or leaving early with kids or elderly relatives).  Roughly calculate the numbers who will be consuming beer, wine or spirits and assume an average of 6-8 drinks per guests.

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Here’s an example covering 100 guests at a wedding plan where only beer and wine is served – you can expect these quantities to be consumed:

50 x 6 glasses of wine                           =          50 bottles (mix of red/white/rose)

25 x 6 bottles of lager/beer/cider           =          150 bottles of beer

25 x 6 pints of lager/beer/cider               =          50 litre keg plus a quarter barrel keg  

What if you provide other drinks as well?   A full bar selection will probably require these quantities for 100 guests.

Vodka                        6 litres

Gin                             5 litres

Whiskey                     2 litres

Scotch                        2 litres

Real ale                      50 litre keg (84 pints)

Lager                         150 bottles

Cola                           10 x 2 litre bottles

Diet-cola                    10 x 2 litre bottles

Lemonade                  10 x 2 litre bottles

Tonic                           1 case

Apple/Orange Juice    15 cartons of each

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Ready to order now?

Hopefully this post will help you get a better idea of how you are going to approach the drinks side of your celebration.  However, this is a big subject, too big to cover comprehensively in a single article.  You will almost certainly have questions that are not covered here – no problem, just give us a call.  The team at Clevedon Hall have organized and hosted enough weddings to have most of the answers!

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Research shows that the average cost of UK weddings in 2021 was around £20,000. That’s a lot of money to find at the best of times and with the cost of living spiralling upwards rapidly many couples will be looking to economise where possible when tying the knot. In this post we share some ideas that will help you achieve this in ways that won’t cramp your style too much.

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Decide on your priorities

Are you enthusiastic foodies? Then splurge on the catering. Mad about music and dancing? Get a great band or DJ. Is style your thing? Then don’t skimp on the décor. Then save money on all those other things you really don’t care about.

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Trim your guest list

Cutting the head count will make a huge difference. Before you throw your hands up in horror at this suggestion here’s a way to soften the bad news. Invite fewer people to the formal wedding breakfast (which will save on food and drink) but include them in the evening celebrations. Or have a get-together at a local pub for all those you can’t afford to accommodate on the day. You’ll find that people are pretty understanding these days and some may be quietly grateful as attending a wedding may be a cost (accommodation, trave, outfit) they could do without.

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Pick a day where there’s a discount

The venue is probably your biggest expense so even a small discount will make a big difference in how much you have to spend on other stuff. Many venues offer discounts for bookings outside of peak season or for mid-week bookings – so bear this in mind when you do your research.

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Choose a venue that doesn’t need a lot of decorating

A village hall or a banqueting suite/ballroom in a hotel can be rather soulless and bare so you’ll need to spend a lot on décor to create any atmosphere. An impressive venue, with grand architectural features, lovely gardens and gazebo and style to spare (like Clevedon Hall!) may cost a little more on paper but it will require little effort and expense on your part to give it the “wow” factor.

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Dress for less

A lot of wedding dress designers hold sample sales offering savings of up to 70%. Follow your favourite designers and boutiques on social media, subscribe to their news updates and watch out for their sale events. There are also some lovely dresses available from high street retailers at a fraction of the cost you pay for designer styles. If your heart is set on something really high end then renting can be a very attractive option.

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Email the invites

Parents and older guests may raise their eyebrows at this departure from formal tradition but you’ll save a surprising amount on postage and printing. It this is a step too far for you just skip the RSVP cards and stamped addressed envelopes – get people to respond by email.

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Beg and borrow

You probably have friends who got married not long before you who may have items they’d lend to you for the day – fabric flowers, bunting, even a tiara. Do you know anyone with a vintage car or hot set of wheels who can provide transport on the day?

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Beware getting carried away by what others have done

Pinterest is great for inspiration but do you really need a DIY cocktail station, extravagant wedding favours, a photobooth, a magician and a food truck serving late night burritos and tacos?

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Let them eat (less) cake

Cutting corners on the cake is another easy way to save. Start by having a good think about who you know who is a Bake Off wannabe – if they really have the talent and skills then give them the opportunity to show them off. If this is not an option talk to your professional cake provider about including some fake layers (Styrofoam, but decorated in the same way as the edible ones). You’ll be surprised to discover that this is a trick they’re often asked to perform!

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There may be room to save on photography

Rates for wedding photographers vary widely so look out for someone who is up and coming rather than going for an established favourite. Someone who is less booked up and keen to expand their portfolio will charge a lot less and probably try a bit harder. Make the most of their time too – you could save some more by booking them for eight to ten hours rather than for the full day.

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Honeymoon at home

Travelling to exotic locations is fraught with risks and difficulties right now so a staycation honeymoon is much the best idea anyway. You’ll save a ton on flights (and on PCR tests!) not to mention making life a lot simpler and a lot less stressful.

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Anything else we can help with?

The team at Clevedon Hall have a wealth of wedding planning experience they are more than happy to share.  Whatever kind of event you have in mind they will probably have some further tips that could help you make your budget go even further.

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What has personality analysis got to do with planning and hosting a wedding?  Quite a lot!  When deciding who does what you want to match tasks to the people best suited to carrying them out.  Partly it’s about skills.  If your sister could happily compete on Bake Off then making the cake is a job for her.  And if your bestie is a graphic designer then you’ll obviously want her help with invitations, signage and the website.  But you also need to consider the different range of personalities – watch the movie “Bridesmaids” if you want a dramatic example of what can go wrong if you don’t pay enough attention to the temperaments on your team.

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What is personality analysis?

You’ve quite possibly come across some form of personality analysis workshops or tests in your career.  They are widely used to help people understand themselves, and those they interact with, so everyone has a better appreciation of different temperaments and why certain people behave in a particular way.  The objective is to make people more accommodating towards each other and enable them to work better together.

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There are many different personality models, each with their own particular strengths and weaknesses.  Many are very extensive and complex.  Perhaps the simplest and easiest to use is called DISC.  It’s probably an oversimplification, but you’ll soon get the hang of it – you’ll also immediately recognise how useful it is when planning a wedding…and that it’s actually fun!

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DIY personality analysis

Get a blank sheet of paper and draw a line across the middle of the page.  Write the word OUTGOING at top of the sheet and RESERVED at the bottom.  Now draw another line down the middle of the page from top to bottom. Write the word PEOPLE down the right hand edge of the page and TASK down the left hand side.

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Now, think of someone you know who is extrovert but also task orientated – good at getting things done.  Put their name in the top left square.  Now think of someone who is extrovert but not very dependable when it comes to detail and finishing the job.  Put them top right.  Next, think of someone who is quite reserved and loves the detail – someone who takes care and can be relied on to do things properly.  Put them bottom left.  Finally, who do you know who is reserved but always there for you to lend a helping hand.  Put them bottom right.  Chances are you have got yourself and your fiancé on there – and that you are in diagonally opposite squares.  How do we know that?!

Now, write the letter D in top left square, I in top right, C in bottom left and S in bottom right.  Great, but now what?

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What’s going on here?

Let’s take the D square first.  People who fall into this category tend to be dominant, direct, decisive, demanding and a “doer”.  They take the lead, drive things forward, are full of confidence and like goals and results.  Some people will find them bossy!  When they hear “wedding” they think “Great, something for me to organise!”

The I type, although outgoing like the D personality, is actually very different. They want to be involved in whatever is going on, they are inspiring and impressionable, exert a lot of influence, but are also illogical, impetuous.  They are excited, emotional, and like to be liked.  Their lack of attention to detail, and love of the limelight can be irritating.  When they hear “wedding” they think “Yay!  Party!”.

The C type is cautious, calculating, capable, conscientious and careful.  They thrive on detail, are analytical and like to think they know best (because, having been so thorough, they probably are!)  On the downside they can be cold and rather boring.  When they hear “wedding” they ask a lot of questions!

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The S type is shy, supportive, steady.  They tend to like things the way they are, enjoy routine and are not comfortable with rapid change.  Conflict is something they’ll do anything to avoid, they see the best in people and can be taken for a sucker.   They hear “wedding” and they think “how can I help?”

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What does this mean for your wedding?

It means a lot, if you take time to think about it.  First of all, where are you on the chart?  If you are a D you’ll enjoy taking charge but if you’re an S you won’t.  If you are a C you’ll be getting into the detail, with lists, timelines and spreadsheets.  If you are an I your goal will be to make sure everyone has a great time, from the engagement party to the dress shopping and the hen do to the last of the dancing.

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Your fiancé is probably the exact opposite to you.  That’s why you get on – you complement each other.  So, if you have a lot of I in you your other half is likely to be a C type.  If you are S they are likely to be somewhat D.  Once you figure this out, play to your strengths.  If he enjoys the boring detail stuff, like reading contacts and negotiating discounts, let him go ahead while you do your bit with another girl’s night out.  If you have D tendencies then take the lead and the big decisions – as an S he’ll be happy to go along with you.  

If you are a D then be wary of other Ds – you are likely to clash.  If you are not a D, be on the lookout for those who are – be careful you don’t let them take over (especially a D mother in law!).  Same with Is – they can talk you into things you might regret later.  This advice is paramount if you are an S because your desire to avoid conflict makes you very susceptible to persuasion – uncomfortable as you may find it there will be times you need to dig in and politely say “no”.  If you are a C then you probably need to make a conscious effort to lighten up and relax – you’ve got everything covered (twice!).

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If the best man or chief bridesmaid is an I that’s good – they will get the party going, keep it going and be the life and soul.  But don’t rely on them for things that involve detail and require a bit of patience.  Make sure you back them up with a C or an S, someone with the attention span long enough to stick to job.  Want someone to manage the RSVPs or to pay the band at the end of the evening?  Pick a C or S, not an I!

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Got a question?  

There’s a lot more we could tell you about personality analysis and weddings but space does not permit – there’s plenty of further research you can do online.  Hopefully, however, this brief introduction will give you some useful hints and tips.  The team at Clevedon Hall cannot claim to be certified experts in this area but we’ve helped organise enough weddings to provide any advice you may need – just give us a call.

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Social media and weddings go together like strawberries and cream.  But before you start posting everything from your engagement to your honeymoon, and all the stuff in between, there are some issues to be aware of.  In this post we share a few of the things we’ve learnt about social media etiquette and best practice for brides.

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Avoid this classic mistake

Don’t post your engagement online until you’ve told your closest friends and relatives.  How would you feel if your best friend, your cousin or your daughter shared the story on Facebook or Instagram before having the courtesy to give you a personal heads up - hurt, right?!   Enjoy the “just engaged” moment but resist the temptation to go public without telling your nearest and dearest first.

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The Ring – too much information

You’ll obviously want to share pictures of the ring but keep the details vague.  If you post the cost and the carat size then you are asking for trouble.  You may embarrass your partner or it might come across as vulgar and bragging.  

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Everything in moderation

Anything, in excess, can be bad for you.  And this is certainly true of social media.  Whether you are seeking inspiration or posting and sharing stuff yourself, it’s easy to overdo things and create problems for yourself  

Spending too long looking at what others have done or recommend on Pinterest and Instagram is a recipe for feeling inadequate and insecure – “comparison is the thief of joy”.  Also, if you try to take on board every idea then your to-do list will get longer and longer and you’ll be overloaded with options.  What’s more, it’s well documented that using filters to manipulate your selfies increases the risk of anxiety, body dissatisfaction and low self-esteem.

Planning a wedding is stressful enough as it is and too much focus on social media will only make matters worse.   Unplug on a regular basis and prioritise time for your mental and physical wellbeing as well as building the relationships with those you love (in person!).

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Who can post on the day?

You need to decide on your policy regarding guests posting from your ceremony and celebration.  Do you want an entirely ‘unplugged’ wedding with no social postings at all?  Are you happy if guests share photos of the details and décor only?  Would you prefer that images are shared only after you’ve shared them first (guests have to wait until the next day).   Or are you totally chilled and happy for guests to share images as soon as they like?

Once you’ve made your decision you need to communicate it clearly.  Include a note on your information cards and on your wedding website.  Reiterate this message on the day by asking your Groomsmen to remind guests what the policy is.  It’s also quite usual for officiants to make an announcement before the ceremony so everyone is left in no doubt about what is expected of them.

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Get a Hashtag

If you’re happy with guests posting photos then creating a custom wedding hashtag for your big day is a great idea.   It’s a fun way to personalize your nuptials and it'll encourage guests to share their favorite snapshots online.   You’ll have all those pictures and posts in one place, a permanent repository of memories you and your guests can easily revisit whenever they want.

Add your hashtag to your invitations, your wedding signage and wedding day stationery so that everyone can share the hashtag love!   Try and come up with a simple hashtag (typing can get tricky after a few drinks!) and check whether anyone else has used it before.

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Don’t post your wedding website link

Lots of couples create their own personalized wedding website – it makes sense for a lot of good reasons and is quite easy to do.  But don’t make the mistake of posting the address online.  Why?  Because it’s for guests only, and not for the rest of the world.  

If you post the address on your social media feed it will be seen by people who are not invited – and may feel left out.  They could even post comments about the venue, your dress or some other aspect of your big day that are unwelcome.  Protect your important wedding details by only sharing your wedding website link through insert cards that go out with the formal invite or with guests when communicating with them directly.

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Check your privacy settings

Review your social media privacy settings to make sure you’re comfortable with who will be seeing whatever you post and whatever you’re being tagged into.  Definitely do this before your honeymoon so you’re not advertising an empty home to the wrong people.

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Keep it positive

Planning a wedding is a big project and it can feel a lot like work at times – budgets, schedules, deadlines and meetings.  Inevitably there will be a bit of stress and frustration.  Sharing those feelings will help you handle them.  But just don’t do it online!

If you feel compelled to complain about how hard it is to find suppliers who share your vision, to drop hints about family differences of opinion or moan about the size of your to-do list then have a quiet chat with someone you can trust to be discreet and sympathetic.  It’s not appropriate or smart to broadcast this stuff publicly – you’ll just add to your problems!

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RSVPs and social media – sorry, but no!

Make it clear to guests you’ll only accept RSVPs through mailed RSVP cards or through your wedding website.  It might seem more convenient to let them confirm or decline through social media but you'll quickly get bogged down with Facebook and Instagram messages – keeping track of it all will rapidly become a nightmare and a recipe for misunderstandings.

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Your suppliers and social media

Let your photographer and videographer know your social media policy for the day - if it’s ‘no phones’ for your ceremony it’ll make their job easier (fewer people getting in the way!)

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Inform your other suppliers as well as they might like to share shots from your day on their own feeds as they’re setting up.  If you’d prefer they didn’t do this, or if you don’t want them to post anything at all, then let them know.  However, some supplier contracts actually include lines about social media in their T&Cs (so you may have already given them permission!).

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Ditch your phone for the day

Your phone will be buzzing with texts, well-wishes and tagged photos on your wedding day but you need to remain in the moment with your guests and your partner (husband!).  Give your phone to someone capable, like your maid of honour, the best man or a close family member and forget about it – you can catch up on all that stuff later.  

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Stay chilled

Be prepared for the fact that some of guests will forget (or even ignore) your social media policy.  The most important thing is to avoid getting upset.  On the other hand, if you’ve created a hashtag but nobody is using it then get someone to give a little hashtag shout-out.

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Any other questions?

These are our top tips for brides on how to handle social media.  If you have any questions about anything we’ve not covered, just ask – the team at Clevedon Hall are always happy to share their knowledge, experience and ideas.

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Your wedding stationery is an important element of your planning process – it not only communicates vital information but also sets the tone of your celebrations.  But how many items are required?  We’ve created a list of essential and optional choices that should help you decide what your particular wedding preparations require.

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Engagement Party Invitation

Include the location, date, time, and any required dress code.   Decide whether this is going to be a big formal bash or a smaller casual affair.  If it’s the former, with lots of guests, make sure they are all invited to the wedding – it’s important to manage expectations and avoid disappointment!  Send invites two to three months ahead of a major party but only six to eight weeks if it’s a more modest affair.  

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Save the Date Card

These are optional but sending them is a good idea – people have busy schedules and need lots of warning!  Send six to a year ahead and include the date (obviously!), rough location (even if you haven’t finalised a venue), details of your wedding website and a line explaining that a formal invitation will follow.

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Be My Bridesmaid Cards

Not essential but a nice gesture that makes your chosen individuals feel extra special.

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Hen Party Invitations

You can probably organise this with emails but if you want to make things more formal and have something elaborate planned then a properly designed invitation is a great idea.  Send this two to three months in advance and if the hen party is going to have a theme then the invite should reflect this – you should let everyone know what to expect and how to really get into the spirit of the event.

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Bridal Shower Invitation

Traditionally the bridal party hosts this and takes care of the invitations – as well as details of location, time, date, and theme (if there is one) it should include your gift registry information.

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Thank-You Cards after Bridal Shower

Sending these as soon as possible after the event (two weeks at latest!).  A hand-written note is more thoughtful and appreciative than an email.

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The Wedding Invitation

It is obligatory to send a printed wedding invitation by post.  There are several elements to this:

·         Outer Envelope.  If you want to be formal and observe tradition the wedding invitation should include an inner and outer envelope. The outer should just include the recipient's address on the front.

·         Inner Envelope.  On this is written the title and surname of the recipient.  Having an inner envelope ensures the actual invitation arrives in a pristine state – the outer will receive wear and tear in the post.  

·         Invitation Card.  This should state who is hosting the wedding, who is getting married, the date, the time, and details of where the ceremony is being held.  This should include a line such as “Dinner and Dancing to follow” and guidance on dress code.

·         RSVP Cards.  The cards should have a "reply by" date at the top or bottom and checkboxes for "accepts with pleasure" and "declines with regret."  There is a space for the invitee to add their name.  In today’s digital age online RSVPs are acceptable but you should still send a response card telling the recipient to respond by email or vis your wedding website.

·         Direction and Accommodation Information.  This provides maps of the ceremony and reception venue(s) and website addresses of suitable local hotels, guesthouses and AirBnB options.    

·         Belly Band.  This is an optional extra made of paper, fabric or ribbon that wraps around all the above items to hold them together.

·         Reception Card.  If the ceremony and reception are being held at different locations you need a card to provide details of the latter along with the time the reception starts.

·         Itinerary insert.  If you are planning an extended celebration with activities immediately before or after the big day (such as a welcome party, a dinner the night before, or a second day bbq) this provides all the details.

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Evening Invitations

If you have guests who are invited to the reception but not the ceremony, or just to the evening party, you’ll need a separate invitation for them.

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The order of service/ceremony booklet

These are optional, especially if the ceremony is to be short and sweet.  It typically includes the couple's name, date, location of the ceremony, a brief welcome, an overview of the proceedings, and the names of everyone involved in the ceremony.  It can include quotes or poems, "in memory of" tributes to loved ones who have passed on or a thank you to the parents and guests.

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Escort Cards

When guests arrive for the wedding breakfast you’ll need a seating plan on a board that lists names and table numbers.  Or you can create escort cards.  These have guest's names written on them with their table number. These cards are set out in alphabetical order for guests to grab as they enter the dining room before making their way to their seats.

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Table Number Cards

This is important to include, especially if you're having a big wedding. It helps guests find their seats and provides some organization. Make sure the numbers printed on the cards are big enough for people to see.

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Place Cards

Once a guest arrives at their table this tells them exactly where to sit.  They also help the venue staff if some guests have selected different menu options.  

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Menu Cards

These will tell people what dishes will be served for each course or what options they can choose from, or what is included on the buffet tables – they also help to whet the appetite!  

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Thank You Cards

It’s polite to send these out shortly after the big day (and no later than three weeks after).  The card should include the giver’s name, details of the gift and a short form of words expressing thanks.

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A final note

This list includes most of the stationery items that a couple will generally need to consider.  We could have added in wedding welcome bag tags, rehearsal dinner invitations and favour tags, amongst others, but we had to draw the line somewhere!  If you have any other questions about wedding stationery, or any other wedding planning topic, just get in touch – we’d love to help!

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